I have five children, two of which have special needs, so you know where I am coming from.
My best friend of twenty years has a daughter who is two years, eight months old. I have only met the child on two occasions (so very little observation time for me, I admit). The first time she never spoke, only screamed and cried -but she was tired and I only saw her for ten minutes. The second time she spoke but used mostly jargon/gibberish. We were together for several hours the second time. Neither her mother nor I had any clue what she was saying. Her mother says that she does this a lot. Occasionally she used an intelligible word in the middle of a string of jargon. The girl knows the names of all the letters of the alphabet and was able to hand them to me (letters from an alphabet puzzle) and tell me each name. She can also count to twenty or at least say the numbers in order one to twenty, I don't know if she is actually counting. Her mother says that she will say "what's that?" or "what's this?". Her mother also said that sometimes when the girl is talking she will say "minnie mouse" in a non sequential way, just throws that word in there seemingly randomly. This all has me quite concerned.
So, I spent a day talking to my own children's speech language pathologist, educational advocate, and some other parents I know who have special needs kids about what I had observed. Then I spent some time researching avenues via babies can't wait, the public school system and so forth that could evaluate and provide services. I put all these resources in a packet that I will mail to my friend. I did all this because I remember how confusing and overwhelming it was to not even know where to start when I was going through the issues with my first child. I just wanted to give her a starting point.
Finally I called my friend. I told her that I loved her and her DD very much and that is why I was so concerned about there possibly being a speech language issue (I kinda suspect some other issues but I didn't want to bring it up). I told her what I had done - calling people, doing the research and putting together the packet. I even offered to pay for the evaluation. I told her that I hoped that she would understand that I was worried because I care. She told me that when she went to her DD's two year old check up, she discussed the speech with the pediatrician and the doc said that DD was fine. (From my experience pediatricians often miss things). She then started telling me all the things she does to encourage speech. I think she was defensive and I totally understand that. I tried to reassure her that I was certain that she was a great mom and was doing everything right but that I was just concerned. I also told her multiple times that I hoped she wasn't upset with me for voicing my concern. She kept telling me that it was fine for me to be concerned but I felt like the tone in her voice was that it was not fine.
I am worried that this will mess up our friendship. Is there anything else I should/should not do??? Clearly I can't change what I already did but ugh . . . I hope I did the right thing!
Does the speech stuff I described sound like a developmental delay to anyone else?