Anyone else's partner just not get it?
Um Yes!!!! And I totally didn't think he would be this way. Some days he's super helpful and kind. But a lot of the time he's annoyed by how much he has to do. He also doesn't realize that although there are a few things I have let slide (mostly cleaning) I still do a lot of things that are hard for me! The things I really really can't do are dishes, cleaning the cats litter box, and taking out the trash. The dishes he complains about (he used to do them monday-thursday and I did them friday-sunday) so you wouldn't think the 3 extra days are the end of the world but apparently they are. The litter box he does when I ask (only because the Dr told him to!) but I always have to ask first and its always when the smell is making me sick. The trash he has always done, but again he leaves it to the point where its making me sick and I have to remind him. Its just so frustrating!
Oh mamas, totally! My DH sort of gets it, but not really. He tries to take a more active role with DD, which is helpful, but is clueless about household tasks. I am still doing nearly all the dishes (he says he'll do them but never seems to get to them), make all meals (even though he gets home before me sometimes), and do nearly all the food shopping, cleaning, trash taking out and laundry. He'll complete some chores, but only when asked and even then, not always. I also work full time and have an hour commute at both ends of my 9-10 hour work day. And I am feeling pretty grumbly and angry about it!! Our relationship was so egalitarian before DD was born, we shared all tasks. I'm not sure how/when it got so skewed and clearly gendered. Ugh. As Ablemac said, I am sorry all of you are having similar situations but I am glad I'm not the only one.
My DH has been great this pregnancy but my other two, not so much. He's kind of an attention whore and he feels like he's being pushed aside when I'm pregnant. Everyone asks how I'm doing and how the kids are and no one asks him how he's doing or how he's feeling and he hates that. I know his issues have been more due to jealousy but during my first pregnancy he definitely didn't understand the emotional and physical toll the pregnancy took on me. We bought two copies of Husband-Coached Childbirth and after he finished reading it, he actually sat down with me and said, "I am so sorry. I had no idea what this was really like for you and now I understand." I think men just don't really have any way of understanding what pregnancy can be like. I remember having to explain what the morning sickness was like to my husband. I told him to imagine that tightness you get in your throat right before you throw up and then imagine that you feel like that ALL. THE. TIME. That helped give him a little perspective.
I do not miss cleaning the litter box!!! I have to mention the litter genie to you. it's like a diaper genie for kitty poo. It will make the whole litter cleaning process easier on him and it will lock away the odors so you don't have to smell it! Then he will only have to take the litter out when the genie gets full. Hope that helps! I got mine at target.