i'm happy to move over to a fresh thread.
One thing that shocked me about having little boys is that although I was raised with just my mother and I in the home, and my experience with testosterone was practically nil, and I had hoped my whole life for a daughter of my own one day..... Once I had boys, my mothering instincts just took hold as soon as I had my baby boys in my arms. It felt like the most natural thing in the world that my offsprings would be little guys and not gals, and I instantly upon meeting them would never have wanted them to be different in any way whatsoever. In fact, after having boys, I then looked at little girl baby nurslings and thought, "How odd it would be to have a female baby nursling....!" my own experience for years was that of nursing little man cubs, and somehow I got so in the groove of little boys that even the concept of a little baby girl just seemed so out there and alien. Talk about a paradigm shift! And my little guys are everything I ever wanted from children, I just can't say enough how every step in maturity makes me more and more thrilled to be their mama and see who they are developing into.
However, my best friend is my mama, and we speak everyday, and i know I will be lost beyond words when she is gone one day. When I think about how special our relationship is, it reminds me that I want a daughter of my own, to try do as great of a job raising a lady to be self-confident, aware, happy and strong, the way my mom raised me to be. While of course I'll be focused on making sure my sons are also self-assured and secure, I think arming a young lady to face the world strong and secure, as adulthood encroaches, is a bit of a special artform. There is so much garbage aimed at making girls/women hate their bodies and wrap up so much of their self-worth in their looks, and so much pressure on teenage girls and young women to equate their sexual openness on others' timeframe with being self-empowered..... that I would just want the chance to help an adolescent daughter of my own navigate the minefield of issues surrounding womanhood, the way my mom did so phenomenally. It's a legacy i want to pass along! Hopefully future granddaughters also will benefit! Some family cycles are worth perpetuating. :)
If this baby turns out to be a boy, I know from experience that I will adore him just as much as any daughter I would have had, and it will be special because it will be my partner's first son, and I know how close he is with his dad as an adult, and how, much for the same reasons, he would be thrilled to have a son someday. We plan to have more than this one child, so I hope that we get a son and a daughter. But of course no loving mother ever looks back in retrospect and doesn't think her kids are perfect exactly as they were born!
There's always adoption, if I end up birthing 5 boys and no girls, and I really want to have a daughter! I actually think I might want to adopt a child regardless, but I haven't even discussed this yet with my partner, so I have no idea if it's in the cards for us.