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Mothering › Groups › December 2013 Due Date Club › Discussions › Can we talk birth options for a sec?

Can we talk birth options for a sec?

post #1 of 11
Thread Starter 

So, I have had three unmedicated hospital births that were nearly hands off. I saw the same physicians assistant that has a pretty decent bedside manner for all three. I never delivered with "my" OB. 2 babies were caught by on call docs and one by the nurses. My experiences have been positive for the most part. I've gotten to the point were I am very clear and firm about my wishes, and hospital staff seem cooperate fairly easily. After DD3's birth in June of 2011, I swore I would have the next one at home. My biggest reasons being that I HATE traveling to the hospital during transition and I crave a more holistic approach to care.


Now I'm not so sure. I have a really small home. There is no room for a tub. (I've never labored in water, but I really want to) It's mostly chaos around the house with 3 under 6. I love being alone to bond overnight in the hospital with my new babies. My particular hospital has a very baby friendly attitude and I've never had an issue with delayed bathing, no shots, cosleeping immediately, etc. I was basically just checked on, but mostly left alone. They also have an amazing whole foods cafe that does room service. :) I don't want to have to clean up the mess of birthing. I don't want to have to worry about house guests and what is in the fridge, and if all of the towels are dirty, etc.


I am lucky in that my options are wide open here in AZ. 


1. I can birth at home with a CNM. (hubby is not terribly keen on this because of the responsibility he feels he will shoulder, but he would defer to my decision)

2. There are a few birth centers here that may be partially covered by my insurance.

3. I can birth at one or two other hospitals that have midwife privileges. Reviews for these are good and bad as far as I have gathered so far. I feel a little afraid of being pulled down the path of intervention at a hospital I'm not familiar with.

4. I can birth at the hospital where I had the other three with a natural birth friendly OB. (Have a few recs from friends)


I am overwhelmed by my options I think. I would love to go with a midwife, but not sure a homebirth is for me. Oh, forgot to mention that I was allowed to have my older two in the room with me for my last birth. They were so calm (and so was I) that the nurses never mentioned it. The on call OB did say something when she ran in at the last second. She asked if all of these people were staying and I said yes. I was already pushing baby out, so she just kept her mouth shut. I'm not sure if I could get away with this again. I'm sure I was over the number of "allowed" people in the room. This is kinda important to me, as they really want to be present.


Sorry this post is all over the place! I really need to get care figured out so I don't miss out on a spot at a good place! Ugh! What would you do? Or what are you doing? Or what have you done in the past ;)

post #2 of 11
I have my babies at home. As a doula I know the hospital environment in this area and its not for me. I honestly cannot fathom having a baby Ina hospital.

That said, sounds like you had a good experience last times you birthed. Why would you want a homebirth? You need to birth where you feel secure, safe, comfortable, accomadated. Is this at home or in a hospital?
post #3 of 11

It sounds like you're comfortable with your previous birth environments, and that's great. While I agree that not having to travel during transition is ideal, maybe it's worth it to not have the mental strain of hostessing visitors right after birth. You also mentioned that you can give birth at other hospitals with midwife priviledges. While I can't speak for where you live, I know that where I live (Ontario, Canada), if you have a hospital birth with a midwife, the midwife is the only person who is providing care for you, unless, for example, you are being induced, then they will transfer care to the nurses for the 12 hours that you have Cervidil, or if you choose to stay overnight, they will transfer care to the nurses. But, if I come into the hospital, give birth, and go home, I don't see any nurses or doctors, just my midwife. Maybe this is an option where you live?


Hope this helps a bit with your decision!

post #4 of 11
Honestly, if I had an environment where I'd given birth peacefully and on my own terms multiple times, I'd stick with it. I'd hate the anxiety of not being sure that I'll get the same experience somewhere else.

Personally, my first choice would be a birthing center. Having my first in a hospital, which led to an unnecesarean, has always been one of my biggest regrets in life since it led me to being effectively banned from birthing centers in my area. greensad.gif

The official reason why I'm not having a homebirth this time is because I had another c-section with my fifth baby, and DH prefers to be in a hospital just in case. Unofficially, I'm not comfortable in this house. A friend picked it for us when we were moving back from out of state, and we sort of got "stuck" here. I've wanted to move for years. Also, I don't want to have to deal with people in my house, and I want to get some quiet time with just me, DH, and the new baby. The one awesome thing about a hospital birth is two or three days of quiet, with someone else cooking and cleaning. Finally, I get antsy in labor. I want to get up and get this show on the road! I guess I'm weird that way, LOL, but I'm seriously considering suggesting that DH and I go out and do something in early labor, so I don't have to choose between sitting at home or showing up at the hospital way too early.

Of course, the downsides are that hospitals freak my husband out, and that I have yet to birth in one without someone being a total jerk to me. I'm really hoping things will be different with my new OB. He was awesome with my miscarriage, and has a great reputation for intervention-free birth. The best part is that I've heard that all the nurses think his word is gold, so if he signs off on my birth plan no one will question it.
post #5 of 11
Thread Starter 

I am leaning away from homebirth for the exact reasons you posted Michelle. And I am absolutely nervous about upsetting the pattern I've had so far. I just wish I could have a midwife. The on call OB's I've ended up with have been OK, but certainly not ideal. I think I need to go tour the birth centers. Thanks for your thoughts!!

post #6 of 11
The only midwife that I interviewed for home doesn't work in December:( I don't feel comfortable with other midwives in my area. I'm looking at a birth center in May. Your hospital sounds amazing. I would personally probably go with that just because it sounds so great.
post #7 of 11
Thread Starter 

I got a recomendation for an OB from a friend who is a doula. I also was encougraged to check out a particular birth center by a few friends who birthed there. I will start there and see what happens. I'm not sure why I am stressing about this. My hormones are making me obsessive. :)

post #8 of 11

I am agonizing over this too. The financials are not great for a Homebirth due to insurance restrictions (will only cover a CNM and only CPMs are available here), the nearest Birth Center is like an hour away and I don't feel like driving, and I live in a ridiculous apartment that is fine for now but is not my dream castle by any means. Plus I am no housekeeper!


Tomorrow will be more me calling my insurance company to see if my baby has a seperate deductible. I am leaning toward a hospital birth, but I am also very afraid I will live to regret that choice . . .

post #9 of 11

Is there any way you can get to the hospital before transition and take a doula with you?

post #10 of 11

If you are comfortable, and your gut and DH is comfortable, then stay.  If you are questioning this because your gut is hinting that something is going to go sideways, or DH is not happy with the current plan, go with your gut, and look into your other options.  


In my own experience... I interviewed 5 hospitals, 4 midwives, and at least two birthing centers for DD2.  I had to pray like crazy and I hated the uncertainty, but eventually DH and I agreed on what we both were comfortable with. We both agreed before we married that we were never doing homebirth, and, we went with homebirth (my mom always said G_d has a sense of humor). And all the advice and things I had to learn (when you swap that many providers you are almost doing your own pre-natals you just have to be on top of everything :)), and the going back and forth, really worked to my advantage in the end, because of how my birth progressed.  It was as close to perfect as it gets (aside from the pain part).

post #11 of 11

I hear you, oneluvmama- I don't know how people move somewhere like that in labor!  I've had five homebirths- one in a rustic cabin, the rest in small houses.  I'm not sure the size of house matters to me because when I'm really laboring I don't use up a lot of space- going from the bathroom back to some other room is plenty of movement!!  I get in a zone and I'm not super aware of where I am.  I have my friends or a relative take my kids and we call them back after the baby is born so they get to meet it right away.  Then I usually sleep in the living room while my husband tucks the kids in bed upstairs.  The last two we had unassisted, but the clean up wasn't much- we put a little blow up kiddie pool in the middle of the kitchen (took up the whole kitchen!) which was super comfortable and worked great.  I used a shower curtain and a sheet duck-taped over it over the living room rug.  There wasn't much to wash, just the sheet and some towels.  I got out of the tub for the placenta and then back in so I was cleaned up and so was baby.  If you have midwives, the clean up is part of their job.  They leave you hours after the birth in good shape, with food and drink and privacy, all tucked in, and they do the wash and clean up the house.  I hear women talking about not wanting the mess but I never felt like there was a mess.


Good midwives are there to serve you.  They are servants, not house guests, and it really felt that way to me.  They came to serve me, and nobody cared how much laundry or dishes I had piled up (they usually helped with that while I labored)...because it was all about me and the baby being cared for.  Midwives are really quite amazing generous people.


A friend always coordinates postpartum meals for me, which is the nicest tradition EVER!  So someone is on call to bring us a dinner, usually one of my best friends, the day the baby is born, and then meals for 2-3 weeks after.  What a blessing when there's so much to tend to.

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