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Weekly Chat, April 22-28

post #1 of 49
Thread Starter 

Hope everyone had a great weekend! 


Today, we're traveling to a midwife appointment (5 hour round trip...ugh!). I have some concerns about her and my home birth plan, so I hope that a frank discussion can clear some of that up. A bit nervous about how to have the conversation, but I don't know if it can be done "gracefully."  DH is coming along, but he's rather shy/introverted, so he's likely not going to be very verbal (although I've asked him to try). Send good vibes! 


Anyhow, we're finally expecting some warmer weather here, so I'm glad for that (warmer being 40s).  We'll probably do one more syruping round this week.  I don't have much planned this week, which feels good, as last week was very busy.  I have the urge to do some springtime purging and reorganizing, and so will likely devote a few mornings to clearing clutter and tidying this house. My mom and stepdad are planning a visit here the first weekend in May, so I'll also likely get the guest room cleaned out (nobody has stayed with us all winter, so it's become the catch-all for...everything).  


I have to go to a baby shower this weekend for a friend having her second baby (first girl).  The theme is apparently "fancy tea party" and I've been asked to "dress up," whatever that means! Looking through my wardrobe, I have exactly ONE dress that fits now, and it's a plain black sleeveless sheath.  I've been encouraged to wear my wedding dress, which is from a 1920's-ish pattern. Um, no. Not only would it not fit without a corset (ha!), I am not going to wear it again, having had it cleaned and very expensively "archived" in tissue and a special cloth bag, etc.  I am never a fancy dresser, and my lifestyle dictates that "dressing up" usually means black dress pants and a decent shirt.  I think others are going for either a Downton Abbey vibe, or a 50's dress vibe. I'm sure I'll be sticking out...do I care, really? Not so much. I'll wear the sheath and try to find a decent cardigan, or throw on a pashmina as a shawl or something.  For pete's sake, it's still winter here and I'm not buying a new outfit for a 2 hour baby shower.  The friends that are throwing it tend to overdo, IMO, and while I'm sure it's going to be lovely, they are putting a lot of pressure on each other to make it perfect and "Pinterest"ing.  So not my speed, in case you couldn't tell. wink1.gif


What's on everyone's docket this week? 

post #2 of 49

Haurelia; I hope things go well with your midwife. I've been having trouble finding clothes to fit me for special occasions as well since I'm not willing or able to buy anything new.


We had a good weekend with a birthday dinner on Saturday, and then a day out with my sister and Dad for my Dad's belated birthday present. We visited a castle and took him for a nice lunch, and it was really nice to get out of the house and not have children around.


We've been having issues with my 4 year old lately. She seems to be going through a phase which I am not enjoying one bit! She's usually such a nice, relaxed girl, but recently she's been so bad tempered, starting tantrums over everything and being generally defiant. And it doesn't help that my hormones are making me more short tempered. I really hope she gets over it soon as I'm finding her behaviour very exhausting. Today she spent an hour following me about, whining and chanting "I want chocolate" despite me saying she doesn't get chocolate in the morning. The sooner the Easter chocolate is gone, the better!


I don't think we have much in the way of plans this week. The weather is a bit better, but still not great. It's a bit warmer, but now also windy and rainy, so it feels just as cold as ever! I am so desperate for some half decent weather so we can go outside more and feel a bit happier in general. And we still haven't been able to plant anything, not even potatoes because the temperature is still too low and unpredictable.


On the positive side, my morning sickness is definitely gone which is amazing! But I'm feeling very unmotivated and lacking in energy thanks to my ADD. But once I cut sugar out of my diet again I'll feel so much better and actually be able to get more stuff done. So that starts today.


How's everyone else doing?

post #3 of 49

haurelia, keep in mind that while she's the provider and the professional you are ultimately the paying customer! You have a right to ask for what you want and then it's up to her to accommodate you or not.

As for the tea party and "fancy": the first thing that came to mind for me is wear a hat and do it sort of Kentucky Derby style...


nettlesoup: so glad to hear you're finally better!


serena: get well soon!


It looks like the weather's warming up here too, except for us that means 80. It still froze overnight last week, that's the high desert for you, 30 degree temperature swings are common.


Today I get to see my client who had her baby end of February. She's the only one who doesn't know yet. I think she'll bring in her baby girl too and I'm very much looking forward to that.

Nothing extraordinary in the week ahead, just plugging along.

post #4 of 49
I have one more class today, then it's reading week here (pre-finals study time), which is happy for me because it means I can slow down. Still have to get the kids out of the house and off to school on time, but I don't have to be on campus myself unless I want to do so.
It means I can start adding workouts and cooking regular meals into my daily schedule. It's so much easier to do both without my kids around!

DH should be going back to work today; he is eager to get more mobile but the recovery has been hard on him. I told him with all of our aches and pains, we were sort of like the old Voltron cartoon: combine the two of us and we make one reasonably healthy adult. smile.gif
post #5 of 49
Thread Starter 

nettlesoup: So glad you're feeling relief from MS.  You and I are in the same boat with our crappy weather; I'm so beyond ready to spend more time outside.  We were able to spend time outdoors on Saturday (so sunny and delightful) and I actually got a bit of sunburn on my nose and cheeks!  As far as your daughter goes, I have found that when DS (4) is being defiant and a pain, I have lots of success with totally silly ridiculousness in response (example: "no! I won't put away my toys!" and I respond with over-exageration "Are yoooooou DEFYING meeeeee?") and he usually can be giggled out of whatever grumpiness he's in.  I get a lot of ideas from Dr. Laura Markham at ahaparenting.com.  She's great, especially if you're into unconditional parenting and avoiding punishment. 


dakipode: That's a GREAT idea. I'll scout around for a big, overblown hat.  Thanks!


cmu204: Good luck on your upcoming studies...and your finals!

post #6 of 49

Haurelia; that's such a good idea. Sadly my hormonal anger would never let me do that, it's so difficult staying calm when she's being such a pain. Usually I do go with positive parenting, but I just find it so difficult just now.

post #7 of 49

week 17. 


this week i want to send out save the dates for my wedding next year. this weekend my fiancé and i have been talking a lot about the recession and how to live. we're both pretty down about the economy, the rising prices everywhere.. while not knowing how to get our income up. anyway, so i think i'm ditching my original plan of making every single save the date by hand. perhaps i'm only gonna make one and give it to a printer. we finally found a venue for our wedding this weekend, so now we have the date and the venue. so i want these to go out this week!


i also want to send out evites for my baby shower in june. a friend of mine offered her place for it, which is so nice of her. i don't know why i always seem to take so long in organizing an event.. i guess it's not something i do very often. anyway, i decided on the guest list and the place and date yesterday, so i can totally create the evites now and send those out this week too!


we're still house hunting, put in our application for two places last week. neither of them were perfect, so my feeling is we'll have to keep looking. i handed off the hunt to my fiancé for a week, so it's up to him to check the rental market and take initiative. 


i'm sensing a conflict with one of my male colleagues at work and unfortunately this week i'm gonna be alone in the ofice with him for a few days. he's been the only one who made bad, inappropriate comments about my pregnancy so far. and now he's prying into my email and general workload.. it's giving me a bad feeling; i think i may have to speak up about it.


yesterday i created an account to sell books we don't want anymore. to make a little bit of money on the side and to reduce our stuff for the next move. i'm feeling pretty pathetic about these attempts to save or make money - what i'd really need is a job that pays more but i work at a non-profit and basically just started there, so i can't make too many demands even though my performance totally justifies a few bucks more per hour. i sometimes think about quitting when it gets bad around there, but they'll give me maternity leave so i should be grateful for what i have right now. as for my long term plans, i don't have any. but i did discuss with my fiancé last week whether i should go back to my old type of work after the baby is born and we have moved, perhaps in a year from now? and try to get a better salary.


this weekend i also figured out that my mom won't be making it to see the baby or be with us for a while to show us the ropes. we had a fight about it, but now i'm accepting it. she's on a different continent. at least she suggested she could finally try to get a computer and internet, which she has been refusing vehemently for the last years. i think it's a start.

fortunately my fiancé's godmother has invited herself and sent us a note later how she wishes she could play a role in the baby's life, or something like that. i'm a little sad about getting someone in that i've only met once, basically a stranger to me, but i am also grateful that we might not be completely alone when the baby comes. 


and then i'm also sorting out clothes i can't currently wear week after week. now that it seems to be getting warmer here in California (70s-80s all of a sudden!), i'm realizing i have no skirts and only two dresses that fit me anymore. but i don't wanna go out and buy more stuff again, the last time i went shopping the total came out to more than double of what i expected. it's just insance right now! so, i'm thinking about going to a thrift store instead. although i don't know how helpful that will be with maternity wear.


i hope i'll find some inspiration, encouragement on the way this week. i'm pretty bummed about money and career and feeling scared and hopeless about the future.

post #8 of 49

This has been a pretty calm week this past week. I didn't get much done except a little housecleaning and some archery. I'm hoping this week will be a bit more productive.


I'm 18 weeks today and I've got a "short appointment" this week, whatever that means, before we start up group appointments in May.

We've decided to move in June or July so I have to start scanning the craigslist and kijiji ads for places to live. I hate moving more than almost anything so this is not going to be fun for me.

post #9 of 49
Sorry you are feeling down, vc. The economy is crap right now, and it means hard choices for most of us. If it makes you feel any better, you can console yourself with the fact that at least you aren't having a negative income like me (grad sch = horrific debt). wink1.gif

Glad you and your beloved are talking honestly about money, though; it's one of the biggest relationship stressors, especially when people have different expectations about it. Very smart choice.
post #10 of 49

Had a pretty rough weekend.


Friday was bad workwise, and left me pretty drained.


On Saturday one of our close friends had a car accident and passed away, still pretty much in shock about it. Keep wishing there's something we could do to help his wife (who's actually a closer friend than he was), or just let her know that we're here whenever she needs - but she doesn't really want to see anyone so we're respecting that. I'm thinking of dropping off some flowers with a note this evening, since her family will be here, and that way I won't be forcing her to interact with me or anything.


On a brighter side, I think I finally felt the baby move yesterday. I'd been feeling pokes and jabs for a while, but not "movement" as such - till yesterday.


Anatomy scan tomorrow!

post #11 of 49

I have a small update in the whole stupid cystic fibrosis saga with my daughter.  Saturday I received a bill from a lab for genetic testing my old OB did back in January.  Part of the coding had CF in it, so on a hunch I called the old OB and talked to the nurse.  I had been tested for being a carrier of 147 mutations of CF, all of which were negative!!! Of course there are other mutations she could have, the odds are improving that she does not.


So while this isn't a definitive answer that she doesn't have it, it definitely gives us a small breath of relief. 


I also had my anatomy scan today, and everything looked good.  As I suspected, I do have an anterior placenta, so that's why no one else is feeling her yet.  She's also very high, already a couple inches above my belly button, but I'm incredibly short waisted.  She's measuring 2 days behind for dates, BUT I have little babies (6lb 3oz, 6lb 14oz, 6lb 12oz, 7lb 10oz), and my OB said with that in mind she's measuring perfect.  We discussed the birth a little, and I'm so very pleased with her responses and how well we see eye to eye on things.  She said since I want a natural birth, no IV, and be prepared to go a couple weeks past my due date. She stressed that between the two hospitals I could give birth at, that one was definitely superior as far as natural birth support, and it's the one I was already leaning toward.  She said she really likes hypno birthing and hypnobabies, and stressed to Eric that he needs to make sure he gets involved because his support will be vital, especially with transition and helping me stay calm and focused on staying relaxed.  She also said that while the technical hospital policy is not to allow actual births in the labor tub, they won't forcibly remove me...they simply request I move to the bed, but just as a matter of formality.


I really, really, really love my OB-which is a huge deal for me, because I've never felt comfortable or really trusted my 3 previous OBs.  


On a side note, Eric always makes jokes about how the baby "better not be a ginger" (me and 2 of my 4 kids are); at the OBs office today, he asked if there was a test they could do to see if she has red hair...at least 4 of the nurses and office assistants are redheads, so needless to say, he was QUITE ganged up on...it was hilarious.

post #12 of 49
Originally Posted by thefreckledmama View Post

I have a small update in the whole stupid cystic fibrosis saga with my daughter.  Saturday I received a bill from a lab for genetic testing my old OB did back in January.  Part of the coding had CF in it, so on a hunch I called the old OB and talked to the nurse.  I had been tested for being a carrier of 147 mutations of CF, all of which were negative!!! Of course there are other mutations she could have, the odds are improving that she does not.




On a side note, Eric always makes jokes about how the baby "better not be a ginger" (me and 2 of my 4 kids are); at the OBs office today, he asked if there was a test they could do to see if she has red hair...at least 4 of the nurses and office assistants are redheads, so needless to say, he was QUITE ganged up on...it was hilarious.



I've got my fingers crossed for your daughter!

Also I like to joke to my husband that having kids with him has totally ruined my chances of ever having a red-headed child. I've got redheads on my side of the family though my hair is dark, but he doesn't have any on his side and plus, the half Japanese thing is really going to overpower any ginger genes. If I was going to be shallow about my future childrens' looks, it would be to say I really want a redhead.

post #13 of 49
Tired. So. Tired.
post #14 of 49

vc, I agree with cmu: keep talking to your fiance, it is so important in a relationship to be able to confide in each other, it's part of the whole for better or for worse deal. And don't feel silly about any attempts to save/make money, every little bit counts. There is a great little article in the current issue of Real Simple about how we decide what's worth it and what's not. It appears that many of our financial decisions are much more emotionally driven than we are aware of.


And on the topic of baby showers: when are they typically done? My friend wants to throw me one but when she mentioned August I was a little taken aback. That seems very late to me.


katalopolis: yikes, moving in June or July. I hate moving too. Seems like there is always way too much to pack and not enough time.


chispita: sorry to hear about your friend's passing. More advice from a magazine: when offering help offer something concrete, e.g. would you like me to shop for your groceries etc. as opposed to "let me know if there's anything I can do" It sounds like good advice to me, being suddenly overwhelmed with a situation out of the ordinary can leave you feeling so lost, not knowing what to do and if someone suggests an everyday chore that needs to be taken care of maybe that's a good starting point to try and think of what else can be done.


freckledmama, hopefully it was just a case of someone misreading/misinterpreting some text on a piece of paper. Reading about your positive experience with your OB made me excited!


And on the topic of redheads: DH is a redhead but similarly to your situation, katalopolis, I'm guessing my Korean dark hair, dark eyes will dominate over his fair skinned genes.

post #15 of 49

Freckledmama; I'm so glad it's good news for your daughter, that must have been a scary thing to worry about.

post #16 of 49
Chispita- so so sorry to hear about your friend.

Freckledmama- I'm so glad to hear some positive news on that front!

So I had pretty much the scariest night of my life last night. My daughter woke up with a fever night before last and it lingered all day yesterday but she didn't have any other symptoms. Then last night at 3:30 she woke up crying so I went in her room to get her. She normally meets me at her door but she was in bed with her butt in the air kinda swaying back and forth. I picked her up and set her down because I could tell something was weird. She immediately fell down. She was asking for her blanket and binky but anytime she tried to stand she fell. She wasn't holding her head normally, it kept bobbing back like her head was too heavy or something. Then she tried to crawl out of the room but even crawling she was wobbly and tipping over. This all happened within 30 seconds before I was yelling for my husband. We rushed to the ER. They got us right back luckily. The doctor looked in her ears right away and said she had quite a bit of fluid in them but didn't look like puss and her ears weren't red. They took some blood and a urine sample. Her urine was a little cloudy, so he prescribed amoxicillin and sent it off to be cultured. Her blood all came back good. So, we went home and got a couple hours of sleep. When we got out of bed she puked. First time in her almost 2 years she has puked. And then puked 2 more times before we could get in to her pediatrician. Her doctor looked in her ears with a smaller instrument and said her right ear is very infected, full of puss. Her left is also infected but not as bad. He said some kids react to ear infections with vertigo and since mentally she's fine he thinks that's all it is. So 10 days of antibiotics to hopefully kick this infections butt and have my happy little girl back. I have never experienced a more real fear in my life than thinking there could be something seriously wrong with my child.
post #17 of 49

Mamamash! That must have been terrifying! I've had to take my daughter to A & E a few times, but with nothing nearly as scary as that! I'm so glad it was nothing worse than an ear infection and that's she's recovered, the poor wee thing.

post #18 of 49
It WAS absolutely terrifying Nettlesoup! She's feeling really yucky still but seems to have her wits a little more about her. I'm not letting her get up and move around much. I'm actually wondering if she has Labryinthitis. The symptoms match exactly the events of this morning. Everything I've read and all the kids I've seen with ear infections have never had a reaction like hers. I need a good night sleep but I know that's not in the cards tonight. Even if she does sleep I'll be up just watching her breath.
post #19 of 49

MamaMash - what a terrifying experience!  Last September, my then-18 month old developed what we thought was just the stomach flu, but ended up being rotavirus.  Vomit everywhere for days and days while we were staying at my grandparents in California.  Then, she started to develop seizures right before she'd vomit - stiff body, complete disoriented for 30 minutes, then vomit everywhere.  This would happen about 4-5 times per day and we were on Medicaid at the time, so we couldn't go to the ER.  My gramma finally offered to pay for us to take her to urgent care because we were all freaking out.  And they just told us it was rota (apparently ~15% of kids who get rota develop temporary non-febrile seizures) and gave her Zofran and sent us on our way.  It was far and away the scariest moment of parenting, EVER.  I imagine your experience was filled with those same feelings and my heart aches for you!!


thefreckledmama - GREAT NEWS to hear about you NOT being a CF carrier.  While not entirely out of the woods yet, it's my understanding the chances now are next to none, which is a HUGE sigh of relief!


katalopolis - As someone who just moved, I don't envy you.  I'd rather live in a trailer that I could just tote behind a truck to a new place than box everything up and unbox it later.  I feel for you!


chispita - Excited for your anatomy scan but pretty heavy-hearted about the loss of your friend.  It's difficult for all involved, but I am sure even sending the wife a card or something will let her know you're thinking of her.

post #20 of 49

MamaMash - how scary! Hope she gets better soon.


I'll be dropping a cake at my friends', since the only common friend she's wanted to see these last few days told us that she wasn't eating, and I know she has a sweet tooth. I messaged her sister asking if they needed groceries, but they're good.

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