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Is it illegal for children to be naked in their own backyard? - Page 2

post #21 of 34
Thread Starter 

The only contact we've had previously was when the husband gave the kids some matchbox cars one day when we were all standing outside. He seemed like a nice guy.

 

I haven't heard anything more but I did notice that when her daughter was outside yesterday both parents stood on the porch staring out over the backyard, arms crossed. No idea if that had anything to do with me but it seemed a little strange.

I honestly think if they have a problem with seeing my kids naked the ultimate responsibility is on them to prevent it. I also believe that it's entirely understandable that she would come to me and explain the situation and ask if I might be able to to do something about it. She has issues with nudity, that's not my problem. Good boundaries determine what I do and recognize that it's not my place to control other people.  I can accommodate her, out of kindness, so far as I am comfortable but she has no right to demand anything of me- which was why she tried to threaten me- because she had no ground to stand on. Her attitude just sucked. Best I can understand from looking at the laws is that it's okay to be naked on private property unless people start complaining.

 

I have issues with how our society handles nudity in general and this issue only strengthens my belief. It's sad that a few kids were having a good time on a hot spring day and stripped down to their birthday suits so they could frolic in the water and it's considered obscene and I'm being threatened for it. 

post #22 of 34

Yes, you put that very well.  You would be accommodating her out of kindness. I wouldnt accommodate her personally. I put my children before a prude neighbor who had the audacity to threaten CPS over this

post #23 of 34
Quote:
Originally Posted by Funny Face View Post

I have issues with how our society handles nudity in general and this issue only strengthens my belief. It's sad that a few kids were having a good time on a hot spring day and stripped down to their birthday suits so they could frolic in the water and it's considered obscene and I'm being threatened for it. 

I am with on with you on this. I hate that a naked child is seen as something "wrong" or "shameful" in our culture. I guess we have the Puritans to thank for that. I also don't believe there is a pedophile hiding in the bushes just waiting for a naked child to appear. The sad truth about child abuse is that it occurs mostly within families by supposed trusted caretakers. That being said, the behavior of these neighbors seems odd. Why are they so offended by naked children? Wierd. I wouldn't trust them as much as I could throw them.
post #24 of 34
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by dalia View Post


I am with on with you on this. I hate that a naked child is seen as something "wrong" or "shameful" in our culture. I guess we have the Puritans to thank for that. I also don't believe there is a pedophile hiding in the bushes just waiting for a naked child to appear. The sad truth about child abuse is that it occurs mostly within families by supposed trusted caretakers. That being said, the behavior of these neighbors seems odd. Why are they so offended by naked children? Wierd. I wouldn't trust them as much as I could throw them.

I don't think her kids were offended. I think she was using every possible reason and excuse she could think of because she was trying to force me to comply.

post #25 of 34
Yes, when I said "they" I meant herself and her husband. I'm sure the kids were totally fine. I feel sorry for them.
post #26 of 34

I think kids above toddler/preschool age should be clothed when outside the house, personally, but I wouldn't make a big deal out of it. That lady needs to chill. 

post #27 of 34
I know this post is older but I was looking up subjects like this bc I'm having a similar issue... On the other end of it. I have three young boys that live behind us (3,5,7) who are outside daily during the summer completely naked. Their is no fence and my issue is that I have a 3 year old little girl. The reason I am uncomfortable is bc I don't think she needs to be seeing this. And the older she gets (and the boys get)the more inappropriate i feel it is. Last year when it was happening she was 2 and not really noticing anything. Even at 3 I understand she still doesn't completely get it but it's getting to that point. Not sure exactly how to approach it bc I'm not very confrontational.
post #28 of 34
Quote:
Originally Posted by melissadbo View Post

I know this post is older but I was looking up subjects like this bc I'm having a similar issue... On the other end of it. I have three young boys that live behind us (3,5,7) who are outside daily during the summer completely naked. Their is no fence and my issue is that I have a 3 year old little girl. The reason I am uncomfortable is bc I don't think she needs to be seeing this. And the older she gets (and the boys get)the more inappropriate i feel it is. Last year when it was happening she was 2 and not really noticing anything. Even at 3 I understand she still doesn't completely get it but it's getting to that point. Not sure exactly how to approach it bc I'm not very confrontational.

 

You say you are uncomfortable with your daughter "seeing this".  Seeing what, exactly?  That boys have a penis?  Personally, I believe that it's very important for children to know about body parts and to be able to name them correctly as they become verbal.  They might need to tell someone something really important and they need the right words to describe it.  At this age, it isn't a "sexual" thing, merely anatomy.  Now, if the children involved were nearing teenage years I would have a completely different reaction.  But just because this happening now doesn't mean that it will continue indefinitely.

 

But more importantly, I think what happens on private property and not in public is just that, private. And back yards are definitely, IMHO, private.  Front yards probably not and if this were in the front I'd probably want to see a swimsuit on the older child at least.  People have very different feelings about nakedness as you have observed and as you can tell by this thread. For me it comes down to respecting differences, but also the idea of "my house, my rules" and "your house/your rules".   My DD has a friend down the street who is Muslim and when she comes to swim she is covered from ankles to wrists.  But her parents know that its our pool and our property so my children wear swim trunks (DS) and a two piece suit (DD).  When my daughter goes there to play I make sure she is wearing pants and sleeves.

 

Unfortunately, I think your only real option if you want to keep this from your daughter is a fence.  I know they are expensive but if not seeing what your neighbors are doing is important to you then you need to take steps to change your view.

post #29 of 34
Quote:
Originally Posted by melissadbo View Post

I know this post is older but I was looking up subjects like this bc I'm having a similar issue... On the other end of it. I have three young boys that live behind us (3,5,7) who are outside daily during the summer completely naked. Their is no fence and my issue is that I have a 3 year old little girl. The reason I am uncomfortable is bc I don't think she needs to be seeing this. And the older she gets (and the boys get)the more inappropriate i feel it is. Last year when it was happening she was 2 and not really noticing anything. Even at 3 I understand she still doesn't completely get it but it's getting to that point. Not sure exactly how to approach it bc I'm not very confrontational.

 

Sounds like you're going to be saving up for a fence, Melissa! Those boys have the perfect right to wear whatever they want in their own backyard. If you (or your daughter) have issues with nudity, then buy the fence and grow the hedge.

post #30 of 34
Quote:
Originally Posted by Evan&Anna's_Mom View Post

You say you are uncomfortable with your daughter "seeing this".  Seeing what, exactly?  That boys have a penis?  Personally, I believe that it's very important for children to know about body parts and to be able to name them correctly as they become verbal.  They might need to tell someone something really important and they need the right words to describe it.  At this age, it isn't a "sexual" thing, merely anatomy.  Now, if the children involved were nearing teenage years I would have a completely different reaction.  But just because this happening now doesn't mean that it will continue indefinitely.

But more importantly, I think what happens on private property and not in public is just that, private. And back yards are definitely, IMHO, private.  Front yards probably not and if this were in the front I'd probably want to see a swimsuit on the older child at least.  People have very different feelings about nakedness as you have observed and as you can tell by this thread. For me it comes down to respecting differences, but also the idea of "my house, my rules" and "your house/your rules".   My DD has a friend down the street who is Muslim and when she comes to swim she is covered from ankles to wrists.  But her parents know that its our pool and our property so my children wear swim trunks (DS) and a two piece suit (DD).  When my daughter goes there to play I make sure she is wearing pants and sleeves.

Unfortunately, I think your only real option if you want to keep this from your daughter is a fence.  I know they are expensive but if not seeing what your neighbors are doing is important to you then you need to take steps to change your view.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Evan&Anna's_Mom View Post

You say you are uncomfortable with your daughter "seeing this".  Seeing what, exactly?  That boys have a penis?  Personally, I believe that it's very important for children to know about body parts and to be able to name them correctly as they become verbal.  They might need to tell someone something really important and they need the right words to describe it.  At this age, it isn't a "sexual" thing, merely anatomy.  Now, if the children involved were nearing teenage years I would have a completely different reaction.  But just because this happening now doesn't mean that it will continue indefinitely.

But more importantly, I think what happens on private property and not in public is just that, private. And back yards are definitely, IMHO, private.  Front yards probably not and if this were in the front I'd probably want to see a swimsuit on the older child at least.  People have very different feelings about nakedness as you have observed and as you can tell by this thread. For me it comes down to respecting differences, but also the idea of "my house, my rules" and "your house/your rules".   My DD has a friend down the street who is Muslim and when she comes to swim she is covered from ankles to wrists.  But her parents know that its our pool and our property so my children wear swim trunks (DS) and a two piece suit (DD).  When my daughter goes there to play I make sure she is wearing pants and sleeves.

Unfortunately, I think your only real option if you want to keep this from your daughter is a fence.  I know they are expensive but if not seeing what your neighbors are doing is important to you then you need to take steps to change your view.
post #31 of 34
Sorry, im new to this site and dont really know how it works. Obviously there are very opinionated people who would like to project their own views on to others (evan&annas mom) its not for me so i will not be coming back to these forums but just for uour information, i have a son too so my daighter has no issues with knowing what a penis is and the difference between boys and girls or even nudity. It is my issue with older boys, who are not related to my child.
post #32 of 34
I too have been thinking about this as my kids like to run outside naked in the warm weather and my neighbor commented a few years ago that it made her girls uncomfortable. Im going to comment only because i can see i am the only dissenter.....

I would have zero problem with other peoples kids naked, it is perfectly fine/nonsexual for kids this age to do so, however, although it is our "right" i have decided to gently remind them to throw on some shorts, or at the least briefs since we have neighbors who we care about their feelings.

Im thinking its good to teach them to be courteous to the feeling of others even if we dont agree. Also that in general its cool to cover our privates around non-family. And really, its no big deal to grab some shorts!

I am the first person to to breastfeed in public, natural birth, speak my mind, and support others right to do so, because these are choices that are important and Im unconcerned if others dont like it. But if i can be caring towards someone else without it being a detriment to me, why not, kwim? I.e. when i bf around uptight people, i dont hide under a cover or apologize for an accidental errant boob, but i do make some effort to be discreet, because i want to, not because i 'have' to.
Melissa i think its understandable if youd rather not have your daughter constantly watching nudity and you could totally say something in a nice way....i would i definitely ignore an incident here or there but if it all the time i get it.
post #33 of 34
By the way, i might phrase your request as it making your daughter uncomfortable rather than you....for most moms the last thing we would want is to make a child feel bad in their own backyard....
post #34 of 34
Quote:
Originally Posted by dalia View Post


I am with on with you on this. I hate that a naked child is seen as something "wrong" or "shameful" in our culture. I guess we have the Puritans to thank for that. I also don't believe there is a pedophile hiding in the bushes just waiting for a naked child to appear. The sad truth about child abuse is that it occurs mostly within families by supposed trusted caretakers. That being said, the behavior of these neighbors seems odd. Why are they so offended by naked children? Wierd. I wouldn't trust them as much as I could throw them.

 

 

My husband comes from a culture where nudity is not acceptable. It's not puritan.  Not for kids, not for anyone, and especially not where they can be seen, regardless of whether they are on their own property.  While I'm not AT ALL in agreement with this, and while I think the lady who approached the OP overreacted and probably needs a betchslap, I personally would just try to fit in to my neighborhood and not draw attention to myself and/or my kids because of such an issue. It's not a big deal for them to wear clothes and make the freaky neighbor calm down.  There are just some battles I personally would rather pass on and it has to be a decision for each mom.  

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