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Breaking the cycle

post #1 of 2
Thread Starter 
We have 5 kids. We started out parenting in the standard, mainstream, knee-jerk fashion. Our oldest , 11yo. Boy, has done well inspite of this. Our 9 year old is obstinate, contrary, stubborn, and breaks down into a crying mess quite easily. I try talking and he shuts down. Our 3 youngest, we are usually able to talk them down and work cooperatively with them to reach the desired outcome. Occasionally I resort to the screaming mess with the littles that i tend towards with the big guys. I want to have a more positive relationship with my big guys but still need a sense of order in our home.
post #2 of 2

Your post opens my heart to read. Good for you mama for moving to a kinder, more loving way of parenting.

 

I don't have any real advice for you. My son is just (nearly) 3 and he's my only one and I am still in that steep learning curve.

 

But I wanted to recommend Dr. Laura Markham. Here is her website: http://www.ahaparenting.com/. She often gives advice to parents who are trying to break the cycle and change their way of parenting. She has sections of her website for all ages, and she has a new book out as well. If you haven't already heard of her, I highly recommend browsing around her site and possibly reading her book. She is wonderful and compassionate, with loads of practical tips as well as advice about the emotional/spiritual side of parenting for us.

 

Best of luck to you. You're on the right path and you're making a grand effort and it isn't easy to change old patterns. One step forward, two steps back still gets you where you're going. hug2.gif

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