I'm so bummed that I can't just tell people right away, but when you know family's reactions aren't going to be positive, you're just not in a hurry to tell! With our 4th we told my MIL and she looked at the ground...my husband said, "Aren't you going to congratulate us?" And she said,"Do you want me to congratulate you? Are you happy about this?" I was stunned. The woman had FIVE kids herself. Last time we told everyone on Christmas Day (which is funny b/c now I'm due Christmas Day! I love Christmas!!), and she just got up and walked out of the room. That was awkward.
My own mother adores me and my children to pieces, but worries about my healthy and lack of sleep over 14 years of mothering, and the fact that we struggle quite a bit with money...I get it. She'll say things like, "So when's he getting a vasectomy?" Or if I'm talking about how much I love him, she'll say, "Well, don't love him so much that you end up pregnant." She sort of chuckles but she's totally serious. She ends up excited for us eventually, but after the 3rd she's acted so confused with the news.
My best friend, the only person I've told besides all of you, said she'd call my mom for me if I want her to. My mom loves this friend, and that way she could process with my friend (and not me) and express concern or have inappropriate responses to my friend (and not me)...then call me when she's ready to be nice and supportive. Is it childish to not just talk to my own mother? Her opinion matters so much to me- we never give up wanting our parent's approval, some of us.
Last time we waited until 10 weeks (though nobody was really surprised as they suspected my bump)...we gave my little nephew a small soft photo album with pictures of our family, and the last page was a stork with a blanket and a question mark. We thought it was so fun and clever, but people just weren't excited. My kids are outgoing, gregarious, boisterous and lively, smart and crazy and amazing- I just don't think people can fathom how we could be excited about more chaos. Maybe we are crazy!
I'm off facebook now, but what I would post if I was still on is "Life is short. Have six kids." (Funny how I still think in facebook posts, it's like a disease!)