or Connect
Mothering › Groups › December 2013 Due Date Club › Discussions › Announcing?

Announcing? - Page 2

post #21 of 61

I am sorry to hear the negative reactions that some of you have gotten from family.  So sad.


Since I am the oldest grandchild on both sides of my family, didn't get married until 2010 (when I finally found the right man), waited a year for his immigration to the U.S. to solidified (i.e. he had a green card and a job before TTC), and then finding out he had an ultra-low sperm count, my aunts and uncles have always been hounding us about when we are going to have kids.  They don't know about our fertility struggles, although a year ago I had told me my mom "when we are pregnant, you will be the first to know. We need medical intervention to make it happen so it might be awhile." When we called her with my bfp news, she was ecstatic.  My sister had just had the first grandchild for the seven of us kids (yep, big families are great!).  My sister knew about our IVF cycle since she is the guardian of our frozen embryos if DH and I were to pass away. We called DH's parents next. His parents were happy but not over the top so. My SIL, DH's sister, was never into having kids and it is just the two of them in DH's family. They have warmed up to the idea.  We told the rest of my siblings who were all really excited to be aunts/uncles and a few of our closest friends (some over the phone, others in person).  For my more extended family who I am fairly close to - aunts, uncles, cousins - and friends -  I want to create a card where my DH and I are each holding a Christmas present, then the next picture we open the present and pull out 2 little baby outfits. Then a caption that says, "Guess what Lilac and guru are getting for Christmas? Twins! Due 12-19-13 Want more info  - call or text 555-555-5555." We are thinking of sending them out the week before Mother's Day.

post #22 of 61
I know a woman who is catholic and got really negative comments from her in laws when she was pregnant with #2. Her solution? She and her husband simply don't announce their pregnancies to naysayers. She showed up at thanksgiving 6 months pregnant without so much as a word LOL. It's so awesomely passive aggressive! I figure it's really no ones business if we're pregnant, and that we should only tell people who will be happy and supportive.
post #23 of 61
Lily, we totally are. wink1.gif My favorite way of communicating with my kids is joking with them! We make fun of each other, make fun of our many pop culture interests, play jokes on each other. We have lots of inside jokes, and lots of geeky jokes that make other people roll their eyes at us. I was going to tell you guys one of our sodium jokes, but then I figured Na. :-P

So, DH came home with a white t-shirt, and I wrote, "I'M GOING TO BE A BIG BROTHER," on it. At first we just sent him into the living room, but he was going to lie down on the couch, LOL. So we told him to go ask our oldest for a drink of water. At first she was just looking at her computer screen while talking to him, not even paying attention. DH and I were cracking up from the bedroom. Then we heard, "What! WHAT! IS THIS A JOKE???" As each kid read the shirt, they were totally surprised and happy!

The best part is how happy our youngest was. Previously, every time we asked him if he wanted a new baby, he would say no and tell me, "I'll be your baby." Now he's realized that this means he gets to be a big brother, and he's SO excited about that! He proudly told me, "Now I'm a big boy!"
post #24 of 61

Just reading through all of these posts...I agree that some people just seem to feel they have a say in how big someone's family is. It can be really maddening. I'm sorry that people are like that!


None of our family knows yet, but I'm not sure how long I can keep my belly under wraps. (By the end of the day, it's huge. I'm thinking it's because my first baby isn't even a year old yet, so I never really got a chance to shrink down more permanently!)  My mom and dad thought DD should be the last, because of some issues I had last year with the pregnancy (placenta previa which required a c/s, which I had a hard time dealing with and so I was depressed for about 10 weeks in the last trimester), and because our son can keep us hopping all day long-- so they think that we aren't going to have the time and energy. I admit, it is hard sometimes and I feel soooooo tired, and because my mom is 67 and my dad is 69, they don't have the ability to chase after grandkids like they could have if they were younger and give us a break as often as we could use.  I'm 43. On that note, I also think that some people may think that I'm too old to have another child... and another thing that ticks me off is that many people seem to think that 2 is the perfect number-- especially if you have a boy and girl. I find that the most annoying thing of all.


As for my in laws, I'm not even really caring what they think, or how we are going to tell them. Though they are really nice people, I don't feel connected to them in a deep way. Everything seems to be on such a superficial level with them, but then that's kind of how it sums up their relationship with DH. (e.g. He asked them a couple of weeks ago, How was your trip to Hawaii? Their answer: Oh, I got a cold. *seriously? that's what you have to say in response?* I tried opening up with my MIL about my perinatal depression, so I could maybe get some support and also to offer an explanation for why we weren't getting together as much, but it went nowhere. Just smiled, and was like, "oh..."  So, I'm kind of liking the idea of just showing up at their place in a few weeks with a bump, as someone else had mentioned.


I'm on FB, but I don't post a lot of personal stuff about me and my family on there anymore, as I'm becoming more and more concerned about privacy issues. I'm not sure if I will post anything on there until way down the road, maybe halfway through the second trimester I'll casually post a pic and my belly will give it away.


Okay, that's my vent. If you get through reading through all of this, thanks for the ear! I'm really feeling in a good place about everything else! :)

post #25 of 61
Thread Starter 

Told my dad today and it went better than expected. Though he did hound me a bit about having another homebirth and for some reason thinks it would be cheaper for me to go to the hospital (um, yeah, with no maternity coverage dad? Not happening).
We decided to make a little photobook for husband's parents that will end with the picture of me at Disney wearing the "I'm pregnant" button holding up 3 fingers.

post #26 of 61

Reading all of your responses makes me feel a whole lot better. The family we have told looks at us like "are you serious??" a 4rth! People around here just don't have large families. I grew up in a family of six, we went camping all over the United states alone with my mother! I never thought it was a negative thing. We all had roles and helped around the house as much as we could. I am the oldest and it made me become interested in the teaching profession. I taught for two years and earned my credential and master's degree. I did not work long, but man I would not change a thing! I would still have 3 close in age. I am truly happy being the stay at home mom. It seems like my close family and friends were expecting me to go back. My youngest is almost 3, it would have been "perfect". I don't know, in my heart I always felt like we were not complete as a family. I am only 32. I feel like I am ready for another baby, but why doesn't anyone else see? Sorry for the vent, I just needed some release lol.

post #27 of 61

I hear ya!  : )

post #28 of 61
So, at this point everybody but my family knows. The part that's frustrating me is that until I'm ready to tell my family, I can't say anything on Facebook. No, "I feel so nauseous today!" or "LOL, went to the pub and DH ordered me a whiskey without even thinking about it!" or "Youngest is SOOOOOO happy about being a big brother, yay!" Because as soon as my mother finds out it will be, "Oh, Michelle." Which, you'd have to hear the way she says it. It's awful to hear. Like I should be ashamed of myself.

You know, there is one little thing that makes me sorry we got pregnant right now. I had decided to get a tattoo, and my mom found out and was all upset. What she didn't know was that it's going to cover my entire back. I was going to wait until it was done and then let her see it one time when I brought the kids to her house to go swimming. I was looking forward to the look on her face when she found out! lol.gif Oh well, guess she'll have to see it half finished, since I can't work on it while I'm pregnant.
post #29 of 61
For a while we thought we were done @ 3 kids and I was sooooo excited because I couls finally get tattoed! Glad I got my tattoos when I did, I would have been a bit sad to wait, too! What are you thinking of getting?
post #30 of 61
I'm getting a cherry tree with two trunks twisted together that represent DH and me, and a branch for each of the kids. DH worked in tattoos and piercing for a long time, so one of our good friends who does most of DH's work these days drew us a beautiful design. And fortunately, we intentionally left some space to add another branch because DH and I had already been talking about possibly having another baby. wink1.gif So far I've got the outline and shading of the trunk, and the outlines of all the flowers (except now we'll obviously be adding in more). Still have to draw in the branches to connect the flowers, and color it all in.
post #31 of 61
Thread Starter 

Told the inlaws with a photo book ending in this picture


Took them a while to get it but I posted it on FB and my friends got it right away.

post #32 of 61

You're so cute!

post #33 of 61

I'm going to tell those closest to us personally after my first appointment.  Well, maybe if I can wait.  I keep reminding myself that if something happens I'll want my sister and bestie to know anyway so they can support me so I'll probably cave and tell them anyway.  But we're waiting to tell the kids until after for sure.  I don't want their hopes to be dashed, it's so early still and they have been asking for another baby (a sister specifically) for YEARS.


For the rest I think I'll find a tiny pair of cowboy boots and take a picture of them on our porch or in front of the barn with a "New farmhand coming in December" caption.  Or something like that.

post #34 of 61
Originally Posted by crazykittymomma View Post

Told the inlaws with a photo book ending in this picture

Took them a while to get it but I posted it on FB and my friends got it right away.

I admit, I wouldn't have noticed the button if I wasn't looking for it. But I definitely noticed the Doctor Who tank! smile.gif
post #35 of 61
Thread Starter 
Originally Posted by michelleepotter View Post

I admit, I wouldn't have noticed the button if I wasn't looking for it. But I definitely noticed the Doctor Who tank! smile.gif


post #36 of 61
Haha, that pic is cute!

So, I told my mom and grandma last Sunday at dinner, since I won't see them again until June, then I emailed my 2 besties a few days ago, and today I told my boss. Everyone else can wait until I have a belly smile.gif I'm glad to have the cat out of the bag...now I just relax and grow baby grow!
post #37 of 61

I spent way too much of my day today coming up with how to announce our pregnancy to my two older boys (ages 5.5 & 7). I think they will be thrilled for the most part... DS1 might have some mixed feelings, but I'm sure DS2 will be completely excited for a baby!


Anyway, so here is my idea: I got some fabric markers and am drawing our stick-figure family. I will applique a dress over my stick figure that when you lift it up it reveals a tiny stick-figure baby in my belly. Then I'll have them wear those shirts to their grandma's house next weekend so they can show her the surprise. They're going to LOVE it!! Can't wait to see their faces. I'll post pics when I'm done making the shirts.

post #38 of 61

Here are pics of the shirts I made to show the boys the surprise in my belly. I can't wait to give these to them!





post #39 of 61
Super cute shirts!!
post #40 of 61

I love the shirts! 

Mothering › Groups › December 2013 Due Date Club › Discussions › Announcing?