I am seriously looking for advice, and I have seen many good posts on this forum.
I have a 5 yo daughter, 3 yo son, and 1 yo daughter. My 5 yo currently goes to Montessori from 8-3 most weekdays. She has had discipline problems at the school, but her guide has so far been willing to try and work with us in helping her. She slapped one of her teacher aid's a few weeks ago, and was asked to leave school for the rest of the day. Since then, I believe she has behaved relatively well at the school. I have slapped her, so there isn't a question of where she learned that behavior.
The problems at home are compounded by the fact that she fights with younger siblings and bullies them. She also doesn't listen and obey which makes her brother behave in the same way. When she is not home, our boy is very respectful, when she is home he follows her lead and doesn't do what we ask. The youngest baby has a tendency to just simply stay away from her since she is not nice to her.
I have tried gentle discipline, but it seems like she takes this as a sign of weakness and treats me and everybody else worse. If there isn't a bad punishment she will just scream and kick and threaten. I try to ignore this behavior as much as possible, but it bothers the younger children. I have tried yelling and spanking which gets reasonable results but only short term. I think my husband and I generally set a good example of kind and respectful behavior.
Our real problems seems to be a few things
- she wants it her way and doesn't care who she hurts to get it
- if she doesn't WANT to do something she will either ignore, argue or lie
I will also add that if she spends all day with ME, she seems to do fine. But I am an owner of a company with 100 employees so can't just "give notice".
Anyway, looking for some advice on how to get our family life to be as peaceful all the time as it is when she is at school or visiting grandparents.