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I am I the only person driven crazy by people who profess a specific diet and then eats those... - Page 3

post #41 of 80
How do you even know if some one is vegan?



Oh yeah- They'll tell you right away!eyesroll.gif



Like the homeschooling mom who always complains she is being judged for being a homeschooling mom, but at the same time it is the first way she defines herself. With some people you just can't win. I know "vegans" who are 100lbs overweight and go on and on about how they are so healthy and I'm just cruel and stupid raising my own food (including meat with compassion).

Most people are good and kind and try to live their lives the best they can. A few obnoxious people spend their lives trying to show they are doing it better than the rest of us. Sadly those few vegans (or paleo, or vegetarians, or whatever) who are obnoxious about it give everyone else on a selective diet a bad name.
post #42 of 80
Quote:
Originally Posted by ocelotmom View Post

Eating a certain diet voluntarily does not obligate someone to eat that way under all circumstances. They're just people, with occasional splurges and lapses in willpower and all that. Frankly, while it is extremely considerate to take someone's dietary preferences into account, it is rude to expect them to only eat those foods (or to eat them at all), especially if you're not particularly experienced in cooking that way.

 

As someone who eats a special diet voluntarily, I'd much prefer you talked to me about it rather than making assumptions and then holding me to them. And I'd probably tell you not to stress it, or offer to bring something.

 

(Unless the person is really obnoxious and self-righteous about their diet. If they accuse anyone who eats eggs of being chicken-abortionists, then they'd better eat the tofu and not the omelette.)


This is how I feel. At home we eat Paleo, mostly for voluntary reasons. So no gluten, dairy, soy, sugar, processed anything, corn, legumes... Gluten gives both of our kids digestive problems, but they aren't allergic or anything. Just extra pooping. DS2 gets a really upset stomach with dairy and will wake up all through the night if he eats it so him I'm more careful with. I feel like BECAUSE we eat pretty strict at home, if we're out to a bbq or a friend's house I enjoy splurging on a piece of dessert or some tortilla chips here or there. For awhile DS2 did have allergies and would break out in hives and for him I'd usually pack something to give him in case there wasn't anything he could eat.

 

Because we eat out so infrequently, I don't mind "cheating" and my husband (who only eats the way we do because he's too lazy to make his own meals:) welcomes it! I would never expect someone to make something special just for us. If I'm really worried that there is NOTHING we can eat, I just bring a side dish that I think other people will like too and try to eat mostly that, or I'll just nibble and eat when I get home. I'd expect that anyone who was actually prohibited from eating certain things would do the same.

post #43 of 80
Quote:
Originally Posted by mumm View Post
. With some people you just can't win. I know "vegans" who are 100lbs overweight and go on and on about how they are so healthy and I'm just cruel and stupid raising my own food (including meat with compassion).

 

Do you believe that vegans can't be fat?  That fat people can't be vegans?

post #44 of 80

Other people and their special diets, whether they are by choice or necessity, don't really impact me that much.  I don't tend to entertain for more than a few hours at a time and most things can be covered by a fruit tray and a salad.  People have their hang ups or health issues or beliefs and that's fine with me.  A good friend of ours is vegan.  He is possibly the easiest person in the world to feed...way easier than say my niece who exists solely on chicken nuggets, cake icing, (gag) and Coke.  Period.

 

I do take issue with the mom who calls to bless me out after a class party because her kid can't have red dye # 40 (news to me) and we should accommodate ALL dietary restriction just in case and the nerve of me to be so exclusionary and insensitive...and then two hours later we see them at the snowball stand with a big fat red snowball.  Um, really? 

 

I am a room parent and handle several kids' activities.  Snacks are always fraught - there's always one parent who pitches a fit because we didn't magically accommodate their kid's million mom-diagnosed food issues and then we see pics on Facebook of the kid eating all kinds of crap (peanuts in a granola bar?  NO KID WILL DIE!  Peanuts in that Reese's from the ball park?  A-OK, apparently?).  It's only important when they can make a stink.  There are PLENTY of parents who send food or give me simple ideas for what to provide for their kids or say hey, it's like an hour, they can make it without a snack.  The difficult parents always have the most restrictions and never contribute anything AND it seems like those restrictions are only important when they can badger someone with them.

 

Again, I get that people have totally legit food issues and the vast majority handle their business without creating a ruckus.
 

post #45 of 80

"""kid's million mom-diagnosed food""

 

Yes, as his mother, i diagnosed my sons gluten sensitivity. I am the one who has to deal with the crazy behavior afterwards.   

 

It must be wrong or crazy because 'mom' diagnosed it right?

 

And for what its worth, very often children with one sensitivity have sensitivites to many things, because the real cause is gut dysbiosis.

 

But why would you know that? You dont have to deal with it.

 

 

post #46 of 80

NiteNicole, It must be nice to sit there with your perfectly heathy and included child and blast people who don't have the luxury.  I don't really buy your examples. You don't know what research these parents have done to vet the safety of a product for the kid. You don't know if they have called and one thing is fine and another isn't. You also don't know the pain and heart ache when your kid comes home crying because it happened AGAIN that someone brought in a treat, sent in a candy or otherwise involved food in an activity that they couldn't participate in because of XYZ food issue. 

post #47 of 80
Quote:
Originally Posted by Viola View Post

Do you believe that vegans can't be fat?  That fat people can't be vegans?

I don't believe that just because a diet is vegan it is healthy. Or that someone on any specific diet is healthy. ANY diet can be turned into crap. Someone who lives on cola and processed soy fake meats can be vegan and it is still disgusting.

It is really hard to be overweight on a healthy vegan diet.
post #48 of 80
Quote:
Originally Posted by scsigrl View Post

NiteNicole, It must be nice to sit there with your perfectly heathy and included child and blast people who don't have the luxury.

 

 

I wouldn't know.  My child has food allergies and a fairly profound neurological disorder as well as some med/food interaction issues.  But please, keep telling me about things I don't understand. 

 

Every time a parent casually decides their kid has peanut allergies and then sends their kid to school with a peanut butter granola bar, every parent dealing with food allergies loses credibility.  It's just a fact.  There are lots of people with legit issues that need accommodations.  If you're one of those people then obviously I am not talking about you.

post #49 of 80

I agree with you there.  This is why it would be so so so much easier to do away with all the unnecessary foods in school period.  There isn't a need for treats out the ass for every little thing that happens. And I agree that if it's legit, they should be able to back up the claims to get the accommodations.  I also know that people may see my kid eating something and say "hey, I thought he couldn't have XYZ" not knowing that it isn't a gluten/dairy/egg/peanut/tree nut filled whatever. 

I apologize for assuming you weren't aware of the issue. 

post #50 of 80

Thank you ;)
 

post #51 of 80
I agree that just because something is mom-diagnosed does not make it illegitimate. And sometimes people decide to take the consequences, and enjoy a treat. Should others judge that? I don't think we should.
post #52 of 80
Quote:
Originally Posted by pek64 View Post

I agree that just because something is mom-diagnosed does not make it illegitimate. And sometimes people decide to take the consequences, and enjoy a treat. Should others judge that? I don't think we should.

I do judge if you say "I'm vegan" and you extoll the virtues of vegan living and then I see you eating a cream cheese bagel. Or if you tell people your kids is allergic to XYZ and they are eating XYZ as Nicole said above. If you say you are this that and the other but eat whatever I do judge especially if you're telling people it's an allergy because it does make it harder for people to take things seriously for those who are legitimately in danger if they eat XYZ.  If you live it, live it!  Great!  But don't say one thing and and do another. If you eat vegan/veg/gluten free great! Eat before you go somewhere and don't make a big deal if there isn't anything you can eat at an event.  Also, if you provide food and people don't eat it because they eat a certain way, don't bitch about it. 

post #53 of 80
Quote:
Originally Posted by pek64 View Post

I agree that just because something is mom-diagnosed does not make it illegitimate. And sometimes people decide to take the consequences, and enjoy a treat. Should others judge that? I don't think we should.

i'm self-diagnosed and my dr. has pointed out that the tests for many issues (especially on the gluten spectrum) are not that effective.  my children are not 'diagnosed' but i do attempt to feed them gluten-free with only the disclaimer that they have a genetic tendency towards sensitivity and i'm so sensitive that if they have flour on them (their hands, faces, hair, clothes) i can react.  mom-diagnosed can be life-saving as i couldn't have kids until after being gluten-free for almost 5 years.  from no cycles/ovulation, to miscarriage, to healthy pregnancies is a pretty big shift. 

 

as for judging, i always appreciate it when people make the effort to cook for me, but also tell them beforehand, very clearly, that i will be bringing my own food or eating before coming.  that way there are clear expectations and no one gets disappointed or frustrated.  i carry food for my kids, usually enough to share (but sourdough gluten-free pancakes and bread usually isn't popular w/ kids used to white bread/gluten foods!) and also my kids understand their rules on foods and don't focus on foods they can't have.  in fact, most of the time they'd rather play w/ people than eat!  i don't understand why every event has to have food.  my kids eat 3 large meals a day, or sometimes 2 real meals and a few snacks, but they can go hours between feedings and i think that is healthy.  they love to play, run around, and do other things and when it comes to meal time, they're seriously hungry.  but they don't need snacks like hummingbirds every hour.  some kids do, i realize, but it's usually a blood-sugar issue, and giving them juice and sweet snacks (fruit or grain based) doesn't help the cycle.  

 

playdates w/ food, we set out clear expectations ahead of time.  and playdates w/out food end when the kids start melting down.  it's only been seven years of figuring this out, but that seems a good rule for parents as well!  usually if my kids are hungry and tired, going home and settling down is what i need as well.  

post #54 of 80
My son gets migraines from artificial colors, among other things. If he wanted a treat with artificial color, I would be reluctant to say he can't have it. He is the one to live with the pain. On the other hand, I'm too sensitive to both dairy and soy to agree to consume either. Although neither of us try to get anyone to provide special food for us. So, I'm not sure if you would object to our choices. (I doubt my son would opt for the treat, but I suppose it's possible.)
post #55 of 80
Quote:
Originally Posted by pek64 View Post

My son gets migraines from artificial colors, among other things. If he wanted a treat with artificial color, I would be reluctant to say he can't have it. He is the one to live with the pain. 

 

 

Right. On the other hand, if you asked for school accommodations for safe treats and he was allowed to eat whatever was sent in, that would be an issue.  

post #56 of 80
Quote:
Originally Posted by HouseofPeace View Post

i'm self-diagnosed and my dr. has pointed out that the tests for many issues (especially on the gluten spectrum) are not that effective.  my children are not 'diagnosed' but i do attempt to feed them gluten-free with only the disclaimer that they have a genetic tendency towards sensitivity and i'm so sensitive that if they have flour on them (their hands, faces, hair, clothes) i can react.  

This. 

 

Actually, my son showed signs of  being 'glutenized' as we call it, when i picked him up from school.  It turned out they had played with play dough...i am amazed at how sensitive he is to gluten. 'Mom diganosed' (still laughing about that ) you bet its mom diagnosed.

 

Just thought i'd add, many people choose to embrace certain diets because of 'sensitivities' or 'intolerances'. An 'allergic; reaction is just one possible negative way for a body to respond to food. People might assume my son is 'allergic'  even though i have never used that term.  

post #57 of 80
I really dislike the allergy vs intolerance vs sensitivity thing! It may be important, medically, but in conversation it only interrupts the flow to nitpick the choice of words!
post #58 of 80
Quote:
Originally Posted by pek64 View Post

I really dislike the allergy vs intolerance vs sensitivity thing! It may be important, medically, but in conversation it only interrupts the flow to nitpick the choice of words!

Agreed, but  confusion about what these terms actually mean could be one reason some people get  'so annoyed'. Allergic/intolerant/sensitive, are specifically different reactions the body has to a substance. On the other hand, a person can be both intolerant,  sensitive and allergic. Put it thi way, my son wont die if he plays with play dough.(just be crazy for the next couple of days) But a nut allergy can cause death....

 

ps. since you have dealing with this longer than i have, you are sure to be all too aware of  what i mean...

post #59 of 80
Quote:
Originally Posted by NiteNicole View Post

 

Every time a parent casually decides their kid has peanut allergies and then sends their kid to school with a peanut butter granola bar, every parent dealing with food allergies loses credibility.  It's just a fact.  There are lots of people with legit issues that need accommodations.  If you're one of those people then obviously I am not talking about you.

I have to agree with this.  I feel that people sometimes don't take allergies seriously because the parents phrase it as a life threatening issue instead of saying that they think the food is really unhealthy and they don't want their children eating it. I mean I've heard people say this, they think it is the more polite thing to say, so I do think it happens. I'm actually fine with people rejecting my food offerings because it isn't really up their alley or they don't think it's healthy.

 

I usually find that most parents don't expect to have their children's needs accommodated because it is easier and safer to have their children eat food from home. I tried to provide a birthday treat in second grade that all the children could eat. I did find out all the allergies and made sure to find recipes and ingredients processed at milk-free, nut-free facilities.  I made sure there were no gluten intolerances and that flour was OK.  I brought the packages and the recipe. But then the one child couldn't have it, because it contained white flour, and I had specifically asked about flour and it was supposed to be OK.  This was the teacher saying it, not the parent, but later I found out they are still trying to figure out what he can eat, so that made sense.  The parents basically say don't bother trying to accommodate the allergies, and I think that is because they can't really trust people, and I am fine with that.  I think it would be difficult to be in this situation.  And I did bring in fruit, which most every child ate. So now I pretty much just try to have one thing I think anyone can eat.

post #60 of 80
Quote:
Originally Posted by mumm View Post

It is really hard to be overweight on a healthy vegan diet.

 

I don't see why it would be hard to be overweight on a healthy vegan diet.  Now maybe a raw foods vegan diet might be difficult, but I knew someone who gained weight on a raw food vegan diet because she ate a lot of avocados. I think if you are an overweight adult, and you've been overweight most of your life, making sure your diet is really healthy isn't going to make you not fat.  You might lose some weight, but it's not like someone is going to drop a hundred pounds just because she eats whole foods & avoids animal products. There might be weight loss at first if you restrict enough food that you are naturally consuming far fewer calories, but eventually you will figure out what you can eat, and eat to your natural hunger.

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