Originally Posted by pek64
I agree that just because something is mom-diagnosed does not make it illegitimate. And sometimes people decide to take the consequences, and enjoy a treat. Should others judge that? I don't think we should.
i'm self-diagnosed and my dr. has pointed out that the tests for many issues (especially on the gluten spectrum) are not that effective. my children are not 'diagnosed' but i do attempt to feed them gluten-free with only the disclaimer that they have a genetic tendency towards sensitivity and i'm so sensitive that if they have flour on them (their hands, faces, hair, clothes) i can react. mom-diagnosed can be life-saving as i couldn't have kids until after being gluten-free for almost 5 years. from no cycles/ovulation, to miscarriage, to healthy pregnancies is a pretty big shift.
as for judging, i always appreciate it when people make the effort to cook for me, but also tell them beforehand, very clearly, that i will be bringing my own food or eating before coming. that way there are clear expectations and no one gets disappointed or frustrated. i carry food for my kids, usually enough to share (but sourdough gluten-free pancakes and bread usually isn't popular w/ kids used to white bread/gluten foods!) and also my kids understand their rules on foods and don't focus on foods they can't have. in fact, most of the time they'd rather play w/ people than eat! i don't understand why every event has to have food. my kids eat 3 large meals a day, or sometimes 2 real meals and a few snacks, but they can go hours between feedings and i think that is healthy. they love to play, run around, and do other things and when it comes to meal time, they're seriously hungry. but they don't need snacks like hummingbirds every hour. some kids do, i realize, but it's usually a blood-sugar issue, and giving them juice and sweet snacks (fruit or grain based) doesn't help the cycle.
playdates w/ food, we set out clear expectations ahead of time. and playdates w/out food end when the kids start melting down. it's only been seven years of figuring this out, but that seems a good rule for parents as well! usually if my kids are hungry and tired, going home and settling down is what i need as well.