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Weekly Chat, April 29th - May 6th - Page 3

post #41 of 74
Serafina, I wish I could come give you a great big hug! That was so sweet and thoughtful to endure the party the way you did, under the circumstances you did. I'm sorry people were so rude. greensad.gif
post #42 of 74
How incredibly rude! Were I you, I'd be upset with DF as well. I can't believe he would take you to a party and then leave you so isolated.
post #43 of 74
I agree with cmu204. I'd be upset with my dh if he were to put me in that situation. You are a trooper. I would not have reacted well to that situation at all
post #44 of 74
Serafina- I've been in almost the same situation and I can say I didn't handle it nearly so well as u. We ended up having a massive row and I said he should leave. He realised he was being unreasonable and tries much harder to speak English with his friends, translate for me and he accepts sometimes I just stay home and let him have time with his friends on his own. It took time though, there was a few arguments first. U need to talk to him and make him realise how it made u feel. U was so much more patient than me.
post #45 of 74

I'm going to agree with the other posters here about Serafina33's party....I know I am not very submissive personality AT ALL, so that might color my opinion, but DF holds a LOT of the blame for not taking the initiative to suggest to anyone at the party if they wouldn't mind speaking in English so you could participate, or he should have purposely made the people her was having a convo with wait as he translated what they were saying to English...it seems that with enough conversational delay, maybe he could have sort of shamed the other guests into actually speaking English some of the time.. 


Or otherwise, if the intention was for your DF to be invited without you was the intention from the start, I'd wish the hosts would have said something; I'd rather stay home and watch Doctor Who and knit.  I know some guys aren't as conflict-oriented as myself (and believe me, my DH is not really a conflict starter either) but no matter how much fun DF was having, I would have spoken up to DF at the party, or most certainly during the walk to the car.....that last one really burned me.

post #46 of 74

Sorry you had such a shitty night, Serafina. I would've thrown a fit in your situation and demanded we go home! I hope you and DF get a chance to talk about what happened and how you felt at the party.

post #47 of 74

Oh yeah, we discussed it all the way home, I basically blew up about how they plowed on ahead of me on the several-blocks-long walk to the car at the end where I was driving the others and being treated like a taxi driver and ignored.  Especially since he knew my uterus was acting up all day and tense and uncomfortable so the least he could have done was offer his arm on the stone steps, etc, and just walked by my side and dawdled at my pace, considering the reason for it.  He was initially defensive and said he had no idea that I was walking several yards behind the others or that there was any problem in the situation.  I became hysterical.  Eventually, we smoothed things over and he dug himself out of that little hole he was in.  To his credit, he was very attentive of me during the party, kept jumping up to refill my sparkling water and asked me every half hour at least how I was feeling, and was very sweet.  He is just not the type to ask others to switch to English, and the party was really for him to see his friends, it wasn't about me, and I didn't mind that much being bored and out of the loop.  They have 25-year-old inside jokes and nearly a lifetime of frame-of-references that wouldn't have translated easily anyhow.  I figured the wives could have chatted with me, but they mostly preferred not to, as they are not confident in their English, despite speaking it fine. Whatever.  I went there just to get to spend a Saturday with him instead of home alone, and have a reason to get out of the house with my honey. (I had harbored a glimmer of hope that because we had such big news --happening right in my midsection--- that I would be more included than usual, but oh well.)  DF rarely sees his out-of-town friends since none of them live in our area, so I was honestly happy for him to get to see his pals and was ready to swallow some boring hours.  It was just the stuff that crossed the line from my being bored, to my feeling offended and affronted, that really soured the evening.  I mean, once we left the party and I was doing the favor to drive people home, they could have at that point (especially with the engagement announcement and wedding plan reveal which I'm kinda sort integral to) switched to English when we were in the car together to be polite to me, the one doing them a favor and driving them home.


I hope no one else goes through this when announcing their pregnancies to their partner's friends/family (well, to those of you who deal with language/cultural barriers in particular)!  It was so not the fun!

You guys are amazing to let me vent!  I cried so much last night and wanted SO BADLY to let all this out to anyone who would 'get it' that what passes for quite normal behavior in this country can be at times monstrously rude and exclusive, almost cruel!!!  My DF kinda gets it, but not nearly as much as someone from a more friendly, social, hospitality-type cultural background would understand.  You all are the best!

post #48 of 74

Serafina; I'm sorry you were treated so badly, that did not sound like fun. I'm glad you were able to speak to your DF about it though.

post #49 of 74
Just a quick update; the insurance company FINALLY approved the cystic fibrosis test for my daughter, an we're going this afternoon to have her blood drawn.
post #50 of 74

I'll totally be thinking about your family today.  All the best wishes possible.

post #51 of 74

Freckledmama; good luck! I hope it all goes well.

post #52 of 74
And... I already have colostrum.
post #53 of 74
Good luck freckledmama!

CDsMom your post made me curious,,, lo and behold I also have colostrum already
post #54 of 74
I didn't have a speck of anything until my last kiddo was born. I guess my body just remembers. Hopefully this is a sign I'll have a better breastfeeding experience this time and won't suffer from supply issues.
post #55 of 74
That's exactly what i'm hoping for too. I had major major supply issues.
post #56 of 74
Your body actually grows more milk ducts each pregnancy so chances are good you will have more milk each time you have a baby smile.gif
post #57 of 74
Originally Posted by letniaLynne View Post

Your body actually grows more milk ducts each pregnancy so chances are good you will have more milk each time you have a baby smile.gif

This made me happy. We made it six months before I threw in the towel last time. I want to make it a year this time.

I also work full time plus some, so the majority of my milk is delivered via pump and bottle.
post #58 of 74
Well, we did the blood draw today. Now we wait. They said it takes 1-2 weeks for the results to come back, so fingers crossed!!

I've never had colostrum before birth, but with all except my youngest, breast feeding was a breeze. With my son, I had a duct that I think never fully cleared after I weaned my daughter when I was about 5 months pregnant-and after two bouts of mastitis with my son, it became an abscess. Not fun. I actually nursed him from 6 weeks until he weaned on the single breast that didn't have an abscess. I was given bad info about not nursing him on it, so it could never keep up with his needs, so I just stopped using it.
post #59 of 74
Originally Posted by CDsMom1031 View Post

This made me happy. We made it six months before I threw in the towel last time. I want to make it a year this time.

I also work full time plus some, so the majority of my milk is delivered via pump and bottle.
Pumping is rough!!! I exclusively pumped for my oldest for about 2years since our nursing relationship was totally screwed up by hospital staff and their awful advice. I was able to keep up with her milk needs only after I learned how to pump which took a few months and tons and tons if research. I totally feel your pain, it is truly extremely difficult to maintain a full supply when your not nursing from the tap very often. The baby is soooo much better than any pump, even those hospital grade rentals orngtongue.gif
post #60 of 74
Yep. I was pumping every three hours religiously, after each nursing session, and taking 9 Fenugreek a day. I still couldn't keep up. In an eight hour work day, I'd pump 4ish ounces and he'd eat 8-12oz. It was completely disheartening and made me feel like an insufficient mom who couldn't even provide the very basic need her child needs... It eventually took too big of a toll on my mental health so I gave it up. I never once got engorged or painful after I stopped. I think my body was super happy I gave up. It tore me up. I really hope for a better time this go around.
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