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Queer Conceptions: May 2013 - Page 5

post #81 of 139
Hi everyone,
My period finally arrived, which means we are in the wait for our first insemination. It's a bit scary, I keep thinking do I even want to be pregnant? What on earth am I doing? My wife is getting excited, she has scheduled our sperm pick up and drop off at our doctor's office already. I am sharing news mostly with one friend and she keeps asking me when the insemination is; she is very excited too, but just doesn't quite get it.
post #82 of 139

heart-n-bones yeah it's exactly the same for us I think. Super duper catholic family & the same response but I'm sure she will come around when she has a little one to spoil.


mama yeah we had the same discussion about using one of our brothers but it completely weirds us both out so we're not going down that route!


rebecca great AF arrived & good luck for your first insem - I hope it goes smoothly!


The UK this week announced a breakthrough in improving the odds for IVF but it's not yet undergone clinical studies. I'm going to ask the doctor about the possibility of the blastocycst procedure which apparently increases odds but isn't necessarily recommended for women over 37. It's all positive either way!


QOTD have any of you ladies used acupuncture to help TTC? If so how often/what time in the cycle do you do it?

post #83 of 139
Originally Posted by lizbian View Post

QOTD have any of you ladies used acupuncture to help TTC? If so how often/what time in the cycle do you do it?


Thread-crashing! Hi all, I miss you and am still cheering you on... And welcome to all the newbies! I'm a huge proponent of acupuncture for TTC: Here's what I wrote about it in my how-I-got-pregnant summary, and I'm happy to answer any questions you might have. Good luck and FX for you all!

post #84 of 139

thanks Granite! We miss you, hope everything is going well for you and will deffo check out your info. I also just found out about assisted hatching & am very excited about the possibility of being able to do it - every little thing helps. smile.gif

post #85 of 139

Mamaetmaman It was actually DP's idea to ask her brother.  She really wanted the baby to be as close to her genetically as possible.  She has 4 brothers and the one we asked was the closest to her in age and appearance.  DD actually looks more like DP than me, which is always funny to see people's reactions.  I'm really grateful that it was able to work out that way for us.  


Rebecca Excited for you for your first cycle trying.  I hope all goes well!


AFM - I'm 10 DPO, which is when I got my BFP with DD.  Took a test this morning - BFN.  I have a short cycle, so if AF is coming it will be today or tomorrow.  I know there's still a sliver of hope, but I'm not holding my breath.  Yesterday I felt pretty sure that I am not pregnant this cycle.  I guess we'll know in the next day or so.

post #86 of 139
Wow, that's so cool that your kiddo looks so much like your DP heartnbones. It's really special that you're both genetically connected to her. Did her brother agree right away or did he have to think about it?
I can't imagine at all asking my DPs brother, but maybe that's because we're not close, I don't find him attractive at all and my DP is generally pretty opposed to using anyone we know closely, so a sperm bank was the right choice for us. But it is great for the kids to have such a close connection.

BBy- yay for getting started. You must be very excited. What are you using to pinpoint ovulation? Will your DP be able to to be present during the insem at the doctors?

Liz- assisted hatching is an amazing procedure. As a SciFi nerd I find it so very fascinating that they are using laser to make the egg implant more easily. Have you started your meds already?

afm - DPO12. I have a feeling I might be pregnant again. There were several signs that I also had last month, but of course it could all be psychological. AF should arrive on wednesday, so I'll test on thursday if not. 3 more days. Those last days are the hardest.
post #87 of 139

heart-n-bones It's fantastic your little one has both of your genes. I'd love to have that but we just don't have the kind of families we can ask & I don't want anything to do with DW's brother's genes! (she definitely got the best ones). FX you still may have luck but if not, next month.


Friederike it's amazing all this testing & new processes they use to increase your chances. I need to ask the clinic whether they'll do it but think they will given my age etc. An extra £250 is worth it.  Have you heard about that endometrial scraping? not going down that route but interesting concept. Starting meds first day of next cycle which will hopefully be in 3 weeks. They didn't give me the med to inhibit ovulation so followed that up today & waiting for a response. I really hope you are, FX this is your month, do you have anything exciting to distract you?

post #88 of 139

Friederike Hoping you're feeling is right.  Good luck on these last couple days of waiting.


Lizbian  The new procedures and stuff sound exciting.  I hope they'll be the key for you.



No AF yesterday.  We'll see if she makes her appearance today.  I'm not going to test today, but maybe tomorrow is AF doesn't come.

post #89 of 139

Assisted Hatching? What is this? 


heart-n-bones: ditto what others have said, we very briefly considered asking one of DW's brothers, but one is very religious and not supportive of us, and the other is great, but very young. It would cause way too much drama. Plus I don't have a brother and DW wants to carry as well so that just wouldn't work out. But how cool that you were able to do it. 


lizbian: endometrial scraping? That sounds painful. 


friederike: fingers crossed! I don't know how you all can wait to test. I am sure I won't be able to resist. 


AFM: DW and I spent a couple of hours last night looking at banks and donors. It was pretty funny. The best part was when after seeing a picture of a donor as a child that resembled many kids in her family, she declared we pick him and order it. This was like the second bank and 5th donor we looked at. She went on to say that she knew we both had the potential to become quite neurotic about this process and didn't want us to over analyze picking a donor (especially since if our genes made a baby together it would have really short legs, a long back, bowed legs, bad vision, migraines, a bit of anxiety, etc.)


QOTD: How did you pick the bank you went with (if you used a bank) This is so hard. 

post #90 of 139
Assisted hatching is used in IVF where they use laser to cut into the hard outer shell of the fertilized egg before putting the blast in. For implantation an egg needs to leave that hard shell behind and embedd into the uterine wall.

QOTD - we simply used the only bank that ships to private clients in Europe. (I am working with a doctor but doing assisted reproduction for lesbians is a grey area, so to protect her we still ship sperm to my home and keep her out of all sperm dealings. I also don't think she documents the procedure and I pay cash.)
Picking the donor was easy too, we first filtered based on hair and eye color, which only left a couple guys (brown hair is a bit unusual in Scandinavia) and then decided based on profession and body stature. We each had one favorite (sports student and photographer) which we both used in the past.
post #91 of 139

heart-n-bones  still in the game! hope today's not too hard for you.


redrock - Friederike explained assisted hatching well. The reason they sometimes offer it for older women is because the older you are the thicker your outer layer of protein which makes it harder for the cells to break through & implant. The laser thing just thins the wall a tiny bit in a certain place which makes it easier to break. Kind of like an egg is easier to break if it has a little crack in it.  Worth a shot & supposed to increase your chances of implantation as apparently one of the downsides to IVF is that the body isn't always ready for a fertilised egg quite so soon which is why the implantation rates are also lower. Blastocycst procedure can help with this as they fertilise the eggs for 5 days before putting them in your body so the ones that wouldn't normally survive inside you die anyway which means you have a better chance of success.


QOTD we chose Cryos because they let us have the most information for free without having to pay any of it. They were also cheaper than the others, shipped to where we live and have a wider range of donors. Friederike also uses them. Funnily enough we're re-visiting the donor lists at the moment to see if we want to change our mind. Turns out I had 47 on my shortlist! Managed to get it down to 6 now though. We narrowed it down by characteristics we both have - brown hair & blue eyes, then counted out people with glasses, thin hair & allergies. After that it went on making sure they'd already had a kid (themselves or through a donor), their family history & the answers they wrote about why they donated.


endometrial scraping does sound painful but apparently it's not too bad - not going down that route yet though!


AFM I've booked in acupuncture for Friday - looking forward now to doing something to actually get ready for the trip to Denmark, esp as we can't book yet until I know if my body's behaving itself!

post #92 of 139
Heart- I'm with you for the last week of waiting. Stick! stick! stick!

I have a short luteal phase (usually about 10 days, so I should know by this Sat or Sun if AF is late. 14 DPO won't be until the 29th for me. Ironically, this is the same day we go see the RE. Lol.

This TWW business is tough!

QOTD- only 2 banks to choose from in my neck of the woods. Sperm donation is tightly regulated here so we have much less variety to choose from. We chose the bank by scouring both databases looking for what we want, based on our priorities. We picked a list of top 5 (on paper), then paid for 24 hour unlimited access to extended profiles. It was then that we found our donor.
post #93 of 139
Popping by for a great QOTD. Our first priority was a bank that offered Willing To Be Known donors. My DW was adopted and has no access to information about her biological parents or other offspring. So whether the donor or donor siblings ever get contacted it was important to her that this option be available to our child. Next we looked for banks with a good mission statement, preferably one with a non-profit status and strong ethics. We wanted as few families per donor as possible. Lastly, availability of donors that met our preferences (which was plentiful just about everywhere!) and logistics. It was important to us to understand up front any registration requirements, time frames for purchase vs. delivery, sperm count/motility guarantees, etc. We wanted as few surprises as possible once we were ready to go.
post #94 of 139

Well, no AF so far, off to bed now.  Will test in the morning if AF does not come in the night.  One positive sign, DP was drinking a beer tonight.  It smelled atrocious and I made her leave the room.  I couldn't even stand the smell enough to kiss her before I went off to a meeting.  Feeling hopeful!

post #95 of 139
Screw symptoms, AF is here. I am very annoyed, angry and disappointed. And sad. It feels like it won't ever happen. At least I have sth. to look forward to, I'll run my favorite marathon on saturday. So, move me to waiting, please

I also would volunteer to be threadkeeper for next month.
post #96 of 139

Oh Friederike,  so sorry to hear AF showed up.  Hugs to you.  I'm kinda new here so don't really know you're story yet.  How long have y'all been trying?  Good luck in the marathon Saturday.


AFM - no AF yet, but still got a BFN.   Breasts are very tender this morning and I had some tingling like the Reynaud's Syndrome I had crazy bad when pregnant with DD.  Guess I just gotta keep waiting to know one way or the other.

post #97 of 139
Thread Starter 
Friederike, I'm so bummed for you! But, yay for doing something that you really enjoy this weekend. Tiny consolations to keep us going, right? Mine usually involve Ben & Jerry's, but it's nice to know that other people choose healthier consolations. I'm glad to have you take over as threadkeeper next month--perhaps you'll have the infamous threadkeeper's luck!

heart-n-bones, I just realized that you were still in waiting to O land in the header post, so have moved you down to the TWW. I have my fingers crossed that it will be a short stay with a quick move to the graduates list! Anyone else out there in the wrong place? Let me know, and I'll switch you to where you should be.

I'm not sure I'll be insemming this month. I'm due to O sometime between now and next Tuesday, the large bulk of which is in the holiday weekend/no shipping zone, so if I get a OPK+ Friday or before (about a 1 in 3 chance), I'll ask KD to ship. Otherwise, I'll be on hold until next month. *sigh* I've been in kind of a funk (around both TTC and life in general), so it might be good for me to take a month to take deep breaths, get my life in order, etc., but it just kills me to do it for such a dumb reason. Shipping is the biggest pain in the ass so far on this little journey, by far!
post #98 of 139

Friederike hug2.gif really, really sorry to hear that. I had high hopes for you this month.


Heart-n-bones the wait goes on! I hope you get an answer one way or another soon.


Fille FX the timing on everything works out. x


everybody group hug!  grouphug.gif I've been feeling pretty down about everything the last week, esp with the weather being so rubbish but hoping it's more hormones than anything else talking. First acupuncture booked for Friday which I'm looking forward to, and first house viewing Saturday so hopefully we'll have some good news soon on that front.

post #99 of 139
Thanks gals. That group hug was great. joy.gif

I have a day off from work, so I am kinda wallowing in self-pity today, but at least I managed to do my taxes. Tallied up the expenses so far and found out that I am using 45% of my income on TTC. That is a bit less than I tought. Still, after 7 tries we're really feeling some financial strain.
And I cooked and ate a huge amount of rhubarb compote with vanilla ice cream. So fille, you're not the only one with the sugary consolations. I actually gained 8 pounds since starting. Oh, and I mailed the endocrinology specialist center in town for an appointment to do some extra testing that my OB/GYN can't do. I probably won't get in until a couple of months though.

Heartnbones - fingers crossed that she stays far away from you!

Fille - timing issues with shipping suck. I hope you don't have to sit that one out. If it's a holiday weekend is there any chance for an impromtu in-person visit?
I am also in a similar position, I'll sit out the early june cycle, only because O will be on a day when my doc is closed. I hope the one after, at the end of June works. I might use progesterone just to make sure the cycle we sit out is still long enough for the one after to not fall on a sunday again.

Liz - did you get your med issue sorted? I don't think they would give you stim meds without the O inhibitor, would they? How would they time the egg extraction (harvest? Procedure? Not sure, what it is called, when they take them out) otherwise.
Have fun with the acupuncture and good luck with the house. I hope the weather gets better, sunshine and blue skies give a much better impression to a potential buyer than rainstorms.
post #100 of 139

Friederike not surprised you are. Sometimes not being as busy means you have more time to think which isn't good.


Still waiting to hear back on meds - ringing tomorrow about them. Def need the O inhibitor there's no way I want to risk it! I think because they don't ever really do this over here so probably have no idea. I'll get it sorted, not too worried. Also found out the IVF clinic does acupuncture which is great. I'll be fine - weather getting better & sister over from Oz the moment, although my dog has cost another £1,000 today! Hoping insurance will cover it. Also hoping O comes at a normal time this cycle then I can start to plan.

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