I came here to write down what just happened to calm down a bit and I would also like to read others' experiences with wackadoos they have met in their prenatal appointments.
Today we were supposed to confirm the sex of the baby at my highly anticipated 18 week ultrasound, among other much more important things. It was supposed to be special.
Not even a full minute in to the ultrasound, I had not yet seen the baby move, and being nervous and 35 years old, decided to tap my stomach to see if it made the baby move, during the ultrasound while the tech was looking away. I had been asked to do this at my last ultrasound in a different clinic to get the baby to move, so I had no idea it could present a problem.
The tech crossly asked me,
"what do you think you're doing?" after I had tapped my stomach.
I said, "Oh, I got nervous because I didn't see movement and wanted to see if the baby responded. I just saw it move so I'm not worried now. Sorry"
she replied, "That was completely uncalled for. The baby was in a perfect position, so there is NO reason you need to be tapping your stomach. Don't do that again."
Shocked by her tone, I let e moment pass and said "Wow! I'm really sorry I had NO idea it would be that offending".
Silence...she was still doing the ultrasound. No apology, no joke to lighten the mood. Nothing. She was just mad.
I looked at my husband. He too had an incredulous look on his face. A WTF look.
Ordinarily, I would have allowed her to complete the ultrasound, then said some things about it to somebody at the clinic.
But this was a very important ultrasound, one which was about to confirm the sex of our child, one which was about to potentially determine certain health concerns of the baby. Could I possibly have this toxic, rude woman invading my womb for a second longer, and risk this memorable day being spoiled?
I promptly sat up, told her the appointment was over, wiped off the goop, buttoned up, and explained I don't deserve to be talked to like that, that I deserve respect, and that she should apologize for her tone.
To my amazement, she said, "but I did just apologize!"
I looked over to my husband who shook his head and said, "you didn't apologize, and the way you spoke was rude".
(Thanks baby daddy. I am NOT a hormonal, emotional, stupid cow, just a pregnant woman who wants respect. Thank you!)
Then the tech tried to push us in to staying to complete the ultrasound, explaining their specialty is high risk pregnancy, and that there was no place else I could go for this kind of ultrasound. Also condescending. I knew that was BS and can only guess she was trying to make me look irrational.
She reminded us of the neurotic sister who's also a nurse in Breaking Bad.
I rescheduled on a day the tech won't be there, but am now freaked out because the tech was so toxic I feel like something must have been wrong for her to act that way.
Anyway, the last time I was snapped similarly at by a medical person it was one OB I didn't know during the delivery of my son. I will not allow people, especially people I am entrusting with my baby's wellness, to condescend to me as if I am the giant dumb cow I sometimes feel like. We DO need a little special treatment during times like these.
So, I guess I hope that we all have the luxury of walking out on people who treat us like that; because sometimes it's a far more desperate situation and we just have to take it, and feel like victims. We are made to feel like we are being irrational but we aren't.
I am glad I took this opportunity to say no to that, because I might not have that luxury next time.