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Just Got Chewed Out During my Appt... And Walked Out - Page 2

post #21 of 41

I agree that walking out was appropriate. I am from Canada and so we don't typically view health service performances as a "customer relations" issue but however way you look at it, she needs to treat people with dignity and respect. Anyone in the health care field (as in the education field and other similar government services) have a professional duty to recognize the position and influence they are in when dealing with the public, and that their jobs only exist because they are basically 'civil servants'. Furthermore, because they are often in a position of authority and influence over the people in their care (we are trained from a young age to respect health care professionals and follow their instructions because they are acting in our best interest) , they have a duty to insure they don' abuse that position. As a teacher, I would be breaking a professional code of ethics if I neglected to recognize and respect the power I have over my students' emotional, mental and physical well-being. Treating people with respect and dignity at all times is part of my duty as someone serving the public and to behave in such a way that could cause distress is an abuse of my position. Health care providers are just as accountable for their patients mental and emotional well-being. If they are unable to maintain this expectation, they are not acting in a professional capacity and are not fit to perform this duty. I understand the job is stressful and people are only human and will make mistakes (I know I've had my snappy moments) BUT these moments must be recognized as uncalled for and unacceptable (I've had my share of apologies to students if I felt I was in the wrong or I've recognized times / days that I was unable to maintain my composure and patience and taken time to myself that day or removed myself from the situation temporarily so that I may calm down or gain better perspective on the situation).

post #22 of 41

good for you! i was lucky to have a really great u/s tech who was beyond nice.  it was uncalled for on her part to react that way and she should have told you ahead of time how things were going to be, what to expect, and what not to/to do. 

post #23 of 41
That was very harsh of her and very shaming angry.gif. She acted like you were trying to mess up her job behind her back! Its ridiculous. As if one little poke is going to make a big difference :snort: She sounds like she needs to take a long vacation, possibly a permanent one. I guess the fact that you did it when she turned away made her think you were being "naughty"? She might not have reacted as harshly if you did it when she was looking or if you had asked first. Still, the tone was way too much and she should be more sensitive considering who she works with all day.

I know what it feels like to be shamed harshly out of nowhere. It is overwhelming and humiliating. I typically am left speechless but on occasion i have spoken up. I dont blame you for walking out, that was the right thing to do, imo. She shouldnt feel like its okay to treat people like that, especially pregnant women. I would complain to her boss so that hopefully other women will be spared the abuse.
post #24 of 41
Good for you! That lady needs to learn some bedside manner!
post #25 of 41
Oh my goodness!!! When I read about how this woman treated you I was so enraged!!!! I'm so proud of you for walking out!!! Wow!!!! I don't care if she was having a bad day there is NO EXCUSE to act that way! Common people!!! You're expecting your baby you're nervous as it is and she treats you so disrespectfully?!!! I would also talk to her manager the hospital manger and take this to the top!!! But if this causes more stress then forget it. And what is up with Mosaic comment "I do think her tone and response was less gentle?!!" Clearly this didn't happen to her/him!!!
Anyways you as a patient SHOULD get the BEST treatment possible. And there are many other places you can get specialty u/s done - that's why we've got yelp.com!!!
Take care and hope all is well with you and your baby smile.gif
post #26 of 41

WOW you did well! I think you handled with grace and respect because I know I wouldn't have. I would've probably tapped my stomach again and said "there, what are you going to do about it?" then stormed out. That was utterly rude. Let's hope she just had a really bad day and that it's not regular behavior.

post #27 of 41

I haven't read all the replies, but count me in with those who have said they're proud of you for leaving.  

 

I had my 19 week ultrasound a few weeks ago, and the tech was equally rude-and she did the opposite...the baby wasn't in a good position so she took the ultrasound wand and, 4 separate times, roughly pumped it into my stomach for like 10-15 seconds each time to get baby to move. I WISH I would have had the nerve to speak up, but I am very shy and timid unless I have prepared myself beforehand for a possible confrontation and mentally rehearsed what I might say-which of course I didn't prior to an ultrasound.  

 

You were absolutely right in how you responded.  Yes, it's her job, BUT she does work for the patient, and MUTUAL respect should be observed, and I do believe the tech was out of line in how she responded.  She could have been very different in what and how she responded to the situation, but chose to be rude. Not okay.


Edited by thefreckledmama - 5/8/13 at 9:07am
post #28 of 41
Quote:
Originally Posted by demeter888 View Post

Gee, thanks for your opinion.  First of all, my OP clearly states that I understood the importance of the ultrasound beyond sex.  Less gentle?  What?

And what is up with "we"?  Are you my lecturer or something?  

For *us* it's a chance to see our adorable babies and sometimes to learn the sex, but that's not the point of the procedure.


That's incredibly off-base, and insensitive. Did you read my post? Are you the same ultrasound tech we just ran from?

I have no frustration at anything other than being talked to rudely for no reason; I made a point not to exaggerate or make myself look better .  The tech was less than a minute into the scan and, as you said, the baby was likely to move any moment.

I agree with you, OP, that the tech was rude. But yikes, you got so defensive toward the responses quoted above. I really don't think this poster was trying to be rude to you. At any rate, sorry you had a bad experience.
post #29 of 41
I completely understand I have a similar story accept mine was with my WIC lady.. She was so rude to me I wanted to punch her but instead I just walked out. You would think people would be a tad bit more nicer to us since are hormones are out of whack as it is but nope. Still rude.
post #30 of 41

I would have reacted the exact same way. Go you! You don't need anyone treating you like that. She is there to provide a service to you and your child. I think she realized how inappropriate and shameful her behavior was after the fact; that's why she kept trying to convince you to stay - she didn't want to get in trouble from her superiors. She's obviously not in the right line of work for her temperment. Maybe she should go work at the DMV. orngbiggrin.gif

post #31 of 41

HAHAHA! MareBear, that is priceless. She maybe should go work at the DMV.

 

OP- I've been watching this thread because I told my MW that I would consent to a 20wk ultrasound for her benefit. I'm doing almost no testing (not being weighed,  no dating scans, no urine tests, only the initial blood draw) and after discussing the anatomy scan with her, I thought it was the right thing to do for everyone's peace of mind. DH is really looking forward to it, too. I'm 14wks 1day and so I'm beginning to look down the barrel of this scan and I'm trying to prepare myself for it to be horrible. I hate doctors, I hate hospitals, I hate medical centers, and I don't even get massages because the idea of a stranger touching me gets me very upset: i.e. first MW appt my BP was 140/90 largely because I was scared about a MW I hadn't previously met putting her hands on me, second appt BP was 122/75 because it was the head MW who I had met and dealt with before and I was that much less afraid. I know I'm going to be a mess at the scan and I want to have my head in the right space to be able to stand up for myself and not get into 'victim' head space and just lay there and cry if I'm mistreated.

 

All of this to say: it SUCKS that you were treated that way by someone who is supposedly a trained professional. If she needed you to be still and not do anything, she could very easily have volunteered, "Baby is in the perfect position right now, hold still for a minute," calmly and pleasantly. I don't know of a mama who wouldn't be fine with that. And also thank you for sharing this rotten experience with the rest of us. If I were to be similarly blindsided it would have been horribly traumatic; now I am prepared for the fact that this heinous treatment is a possibility. I am so sorry this happened to you.

 

-MQ

post #32 of 41
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by M.Q. View Post

HAHAHA! MareBear, that is priceless. She maybe should go work at the DMV.

 

OP- I've been watching this thread because I told my MW that I would consent to a 20wk ultrasound for her benefit. I'm doing almost no testing (not being weighed,  no dating scans, no urine tests, only the initial blood draw) and after discussing the anatomy scan with her, I thought it was the right thing to do for everyone's peace of mind. DH is really looking forward to it, too. I'm 14wks 1day and so I'm beginning to look down the barrel of this scan and I'm trying to prepare myself for it to be horrible. I hate doctors, I hate hospitals, I hate medical centers, and I don't even get massages because the idea of a stranger touching me gets me very upset: i.e. first MW appt my BP was 140/90 largely because I was scared about a MW I hadn't previously met putting her hands on me, second appt BP was 122/75 because it was the head MW who I had met and dealt with before and I was that much less afraid. I know I'm going to be a mess at the scan and I want to have my head in the right space to be able to stand up for myself and not get into 'victim' head space and just lay there and cry if I'm mistreated.

 

All of this to say: it SUCKS that you were treated that way by someone who is supposedly a trained professional. If she needed you to be still and not do anything, she could very easily have volunteered, "Baby is in the perfect position right now, hold still for a minute," calmly and pleasantly. I don't know of a mama who wouldn't be fine with that. And also thank you for sharing this rotten experience with the rest of us. If I were to be similarly blindsided it would have been horribly traumatic; now I am prepared for the fact that this heinous treatment is a possibility. I am so sorry this happened to you.

 

-MQ

 

MQ,

 

I can understand your fears, but rest assured the vast majority of these techs are super sweet.  In fact, my last visit for the rescheduled ultrasound was with a wonderfully human person who was gentle and caring.  Try to imagine the visit; visualize it as being positive and the tech being a close friend or relative. I think with your husband by your side and expectations for something positive, the odds are in your favor. And if anyone is rude to you, what is the worst that can happen during an ultrasound?  You do exactly what I did; just walk out!  

 

But do try to imagine the best case scenario because that is what is likely to happen anyways.  If yu are really nervous, call the office ahead of time and ask them to schedule you with the nicest tech and ask them to first confirm the heartbeat when they start.  All the best:-)

 

Thanks to many others here who posted their own support and experiences.  I do read it all.

post #33 of 41

Hugs, MQ.  Know that I am offering much mental support from afar when you go in for that ultrasound.  And I echo what demeter88 said wholeheartedly.  Visualize the best possible experience.  Perhaps you could let them know ahead of time what your situation is?  They may have ways to help you feel more comfortable.  I'm just a couple of days behind you so this is also my first rodeo.  Just an idea.  smile.gif

post #34 of 41

M.Q.-I would definitely let the office or individual know ahead a time about your aversion to being touched and medical intervention in general.  I agree that most tech by and large are sweet and very professional and polite, and knowing ahead of time of your anxiety, would help them to know to be especially delicate in the manner in which they approach you with.

post #35 of 41

I've been watching for updates, hoping the second try went well. I'm so glad it did!

post #36 of 41

M.Q.--I actually found my ultrasounds very relaxing.  I was lying down and they turn down the lights so you can see the screen well.  There isn't a lot of talking because they are looking for specific things they have to measure.  I could have fallen asleep.  Plus, you get to see your baby.  That's pretty cool.  This could be a good chance to practice your breathing and relaxation techniques you will use for labor.

post #37 of 41
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by pokeyAC View Post

M.Q.--I actually found my ultrasounds very relaxing.  I was lying down and they turn down the lights so you can see the screen well.  There isn't a lot of talking because they are looking for specific things they have to measure.  I could have fallen asleep.  Plus, you get to see your baby.  That's pretty cool.  This could be a good chance to practice your breathing and relaxation techniques you will use for labor.

 

 

Yep, ditto for me.  It's supposed to be a very relaxing experience and all about the bebe; I was very fortunate this 2nd time around:-)

post #38 of 41

During the 'gender' scan I had - the male tech asked me what hospital I was going to use for birth. After replying, he said: "That's the worst hospital in the region...." Was rendered speechless. Complained later to my midwife, who suggested I fill out the feedback/complaints form I had picked up on the way out of that appointment....but just didn't get around to filling it in. Should have.

 

Some people shouldn't do some jobs.

post #39 of 41
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Grover View Post

During the 'gender' scan I had - the male tech asked me what hospital I was going to use for birth. After replying, he said: "That's the worst hospital in the region...." Was rendered speechless. Complained later to my midwife, who suggested I fill out the feedback/complaints form I had picked up on the way out of that appointment....but just didn't get around to filling it in. Should have.

 

Some people shouldn't do some jobs.

 

 

I agree, that's weird and so inappropriate.  Although there is a  hospital near me that is so bad I want to stand outside and warn people, but I don't:-)

post #40 of 41
Demeter, can you switch ob? I had a horrible exp with a local ob and hospital (same county as you) and switched to a mw practice. I'd have ealked out too.

MQ-there are some real nice techs out there. The first ones we had were ok, but the second and this last one were super nice.

That's just crazy for that tech, babies move all the time. At our u/s the tech had a hard time because baby was moving so much. I have had to drink oj before though to get movement.
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