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Mothering › Groups › November 2013 Due Date Club › Discussions › ~+~+~+~+~ May 2013 Chat *~*~*~*~*

~+~+~+~+~ May 2013 Chat *~*~*~*~* - Page 7

post #121 of 229

Meksmama, yes, this is the first grandchild for both my parents and for ILs. Luckily they all live 3,000 miles away so won't actually be here much to deliver their advice. 


Welcome and congratulations, peacemamalove!


I don't want to start a debate at all, but I'm genuinely curious about something, and I'd love to hear people's opinions. I've heard lots of women (not on MDC, just in general) saying that they are having a gender scan or that they want to find out the gender of their unborn baby. This makes no sense to me because I believe that sex is a biological characteristic and gender is a social construct. So I'm wondering if I'm overreacting and being nitpicky about word choice when people really don't mean anything by it. I'm totally willing to accept that this is my own personal issue (I am very particular about word choice and such generally), but I am wondering what other mamas think. 

post #122 of 229

I think its because a lot of the clinics/places that do the scans call them gender scans rather than sexing scans so people maybe just follow suit?


I've slipped up a couple of times and said gender rather than sex but I do understand that we are able to see the sex not the gender! 


We've decided not to find out, we're enjoying keeping ourselves and others guessing smile.gif

post #123 of 229

Until a couple of months ago, I actually didn't know there was a difference.  Now I say sex when I'm talking about the anatomy, but I understand that most other people don't know there's a difference either so I don't get upset about it.  Or corrective.  Hopefully my using the correct terms will spark a conversation where I can educate.

post #124 of 229

Thanks for both of your responses. :) I'm not offended or bothered by someone saying gender instead of sex, and I would never say anything or correct them, I've just heard it so much that I was beginning to wonder if there were some genuine reason behind it besides slipping up or just not knowing the difference. Interesting about the clinics, sienna! The private clinic in my city calls it a sexing scan but I'm sure that's not universal. I think I'm just overthinking things. 


We won't be finding out either. The hospital where we'll have the 20 week scan doesn't reveal the sex (I'm not sure if it's a waste of resources or they're concerned about sex-selection abortions or something else entirely?) and we've decided not to pay for a private scan. It's just not worth it to us to pay to find out earlier! I'm having a fabulous time guessing, though. 

post #125 of 229

So am I!  It's been fun telling people various symptoms and then having them guess based on all the old wives' tales they've heard of.  I've got tons of support from the older moms/grandmas I know about not finding out because they didn't find out either!

post #126 of 229
They are called gender scans around where I live. I don't think people mean any harm by it, and to be honest I understand the difference but I use them both when talking about sex. Misused perhaps, but no harm intended.
post #127 of 229
Sila Thinking of you today, mama!
post #128 of 229

Hi Ladies! Wow - I've missed a lot!


SparkleMaman - glad things are settling down for you and congrats on the BOY!

I also just recently understood the difference between sex and gender. I'm much more careful about it now as I'm a bit of a stickler for using the right words for your intentions. Here it is called a gender scan as well though.


AFM - I've been feeling the baby move over the last week and a half or so but didn't think you could feel it from the outside yet (I'm 16w 4d today). On the weekend I was laying on the couch and baby was doing a jig so I put my hand on my belly and felt it! Then I told DH to come over and he got to feel the baby move for the first time too! It was pretty exciting. I forgot how much I love feeling the baby move.

post #129 of 229

Sparklemama, you were right about it being a BOY!  Congrats!


Sila, did you find out?!


Based on the 12-week u/s we are having a girl but that's not at all set in stone.  And that's me predicting based off of a study that I read. 


Friday was a scary day for our DDC apparently.  I went for my check-up and the m/w could not hear the heartbeat. So I had to dash off to get an u/s.  Of course I was weeping the entire drive and could not get in touch with DH.  I finally did as I was being taken back for the u/s and he was super but having to go through that "alone" was terrible.  anyway, baby is just fine but is hanging out in a funny position.  Very active and heartbeat very strong so they are not worried.  Aye yay yay.  That was a terrible experience with, thankfully, a happy ending. 


I had to go back yesterday, btw, and they'd recalibrated the scales over the weekend--I lost six lbs since Friday and the post-calibration.  I was cracking up!

post #130 of 229

ultrafighter - what are some of the old wives' tales that you've heard? The only one I've heard is from MIL, who said that according to the one she knew I was having a boy because I haven't put on much weight (though I'm only 16 weeks, so surely that's normal at this point). 


Starfish, what was the study you read that made you think you're having a girl? Was it the nub theory or something else? I'm totally convinced by my 13 week scan photos as well. 


I've just looked again at the website of the private scan place in my city and they actually are called gender scans. That explains a lot. I definitely don't think anyone means any harm by it or says it out of malice, at all. 

post #131 of 229

Oh Starfish!!  Hugs for the experience, but I'm so glad things are good.  If a little "funky". hehe  Little bean.


JonesiesGirl - one lady said I'm having a boy because I'm carrying low.  A) this is my first so it's all just my pre-existing blub down there anyway and b) I'm only 14 weeks so of course it's still low!  The other big one is that because the heartbeat was fast (172) when we first heard it it's a girl.  My midwife told me one that she only recently heard for the first time.  She thinks my placenta may be on the left side of my uterus so this theory says it could be a girl.  But she hasn't looked into that at all, just heard it in passing.  And the lack of morning sickness indicates something, but I don't remember which.  I'd like a mix of symptoms to so I can tell all the old wives "haha your tales mean nothing". lol.gif

post #132 of 229

ONE perfectly normal and healthy looking baby in there! Measuring a few days ahead at 13+2 with a heart beat of 163. My heart rate on the other hand was at least that high if not higher. We are very thankful we did the u/s. My uterus is very very tilted back and she doubted the likely hood that we would be able to hear the heart beat with the doppler even now. DH and DS came and DS's first question was "why isn't the baby coming out yet?" well, this is why you are just finding out buddy. I'm sure I'll get asked that question daily. Everything looked great. Heart beat, measurements, the placenta, amount of fluid ect. It was moving a round a lot too. I'm so relieved and feeling so much more confident. Too early to determine the sex so we'll probably do an anatomy scan (this is what I thought they were call by the way!) around 20wks.

post #133 of 229
Yeah, Sila! What a huge relief. Been thinking of you all day. Such great news!

Starfish How scary! I had a similar experience at my first MW visit. So upsetting. I was also all alone. So very glad to hear all is well.

It is sticky, gross, hot here. Headed to lay down for a bit.
post #134 of 229
Thread Starter 
Quote:*edited for PM*
post #135 of 229
Thread Starter 
Originally Posted by jjh5351 View Post

I have a question for you ladies. My doctor wants me to bring a urine sample to every single appointment. I wouldn't really have a problem with this except that I got a bill from the lab where I had my initial bloodwork done for $134 for ONE urine test! My question is, do most OBs require this? I really don't want to be stuck with $800 in bills just for urine cultures! Ugh! I need to call my insurance and see why the charge was denied but I am just sooo irritated.

Geesh. I don't think that is normal procedure. What are they testing for? Just a quick protein scan?

Sorry I'm way behind so if this was already answered, don't worry about reiterating. I'll find it later on in the thread.

post #136 of 229
Thread Starter 
Originally Posted by AllisonRH View Post

Wow - at my midwife clinic they just have the pee jars and those strips in the bathroom and ask you to test yourself at each appointment and let them know if there's anything abnormal. It doesn't get sent anywhere.


As for DTD - I guess I'm an odd one out who has been have lots of loving with my DH. Less than before I was pregnant, but still pretty regularly. I've definitely turned him down a lot more but when we do it's been AMAZING - so it's much harder to turn him down lol. I don't remember it being this good my last pregnancy so I'm enjoying it for now!


I do have one weird thing going on though - I seem to have broken out in a rash over the last couple of days. Over the tops of my thighs (by my hips) and up the sides of my tummy. I read online about PUPPS (sorry if that's not spelled right...) but it usually doesn't start until 3rd trimester and I'm only 15 weeks today. I really hope it isn't that because it doesn't go away until you give birth! I'm hoping it's just heat rash from the crazy weather we've been having. I haven't changed detergent or anything recently so not sure what else it could be. Anyone else have any experience with this? I'm seeing my midwife on Tuesday so will ask her about it then.

Sorry, playing catch up! Did your rash go away? I believe there was a lady with pupps at 22 weeks in one of my DDC's.

post #137 of 229
Speaking of catch up, I missed these two things altogether! Jjh is your doctor checking your protein? Can you decline? I have never been routinely checked for protein issues so I am thinking ot's a doctor's preference.

Allison, I had a brief episode with pupps during my last pregnancy. I feel for you, mama. Coconut oil helps a lot of my rashy things.

Sila---yay! And I am glad that your son was there to see it all. Does he want to be at your labor? Do you want him there? My four-year old DD has asked and I need to really think it through. I am mostly worried that she will be scared seeing me in pain.
post #138 of 229
I really want me nephew at the birth. He'll be almost 4, and there will be plenty of other rooms for him to be taken to (or my BIL can even take him home) if he starts to react badly to it all. My sister's down with it. The birth center has a kitchen and other amenities so I'm kind of envisioning a whole celebration of new life with whoever wants to be there while I labor in the birth suite. I am probably more excited about the birth than anything at this point.
post #139 of 229
hahaha I sound like a pirate. Me nephew...
post #140 of 229
Pirate= lol
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