I just realized my next appointment isn't until 15 weeks (12 weeks now) and we still haven't heard a heartbeat. Blah!!! I try to be as non-medical as neccesary, and really, what can they do anyway if there is a problem in the first trimester, but now I am kind of regretting being so laid back about not hearing it at the appointment at 10.5 weeks. I keep imagining scenarios where I am somehow not pregnant or the baby isn't still living and I just walk around thinking I am pregnant. This is crazy think, right? Someone talk me off the ledge. I am *still* feeling nausous and exhausted, that is a good sign I hope?
May 2013 Chat Thread - Page 9
CourtBChase, this time is all about insecurity, right?! It's so tricky. I am just exhausted today. I was lying on the couch this evening and thought I was having a braxton hicks contraction. That familiar tightness, but it was very small. Then I felt one stab of pain in my cervix, and went to the bathroom and there was some discolored/brown mucus when I wiped. Dear Lord, I was panicking in my brain but trying to stay really calm. I took a warm bath. I'm going to bed early. Nothing more since.
Maybe I'm just pregnant for the sixth time and my uterus is more active? There are other moms on here with number 4, 5, 6 or more- what do you think?
I'm obviously growing, starting to show, feeling the weight of my uterus and presence of something in there! My midwife friend is going to come over Monday, at 10 1/2 weeks, to see if we can hear a heartbeat and put me at ease a little- hope we hear it!! I've never had a miscarriage but everyone else has it seems so I'm more worried about it each time.
I just saw the heartbeat on Friday and finally allowing myself to feel joyful -- and yet, last night I realize that I am not feeling the same little wiggles that I have felt before...and yes, then the worries started flooding in. As Jenny says, it is a time of insecurity. (We all need a good HUG! ) I woke up this morning and reminded myself that just because I felt super-early movement before doesn't mean anything is wrong if I don't feel it now. It's not like I am any where close to the point where I need to be counting baby kicks to make sure everything is alright.
I'm worrying a lot this time too, number 4. I saw the heartbeat but it was weeks ago. I think I'm feeling some movement but I'm never positive. The first trimester is so hard. I'm also starting to feel better, 11 weeks, so I keep thinking about the friend who started to feel better too soon and then miscarried.
On another note a friend from college (ex-bf actually) is married and they are expecting their first, a boy, in June. He seems to think I'm a pregnancy/childbirth/etc expect since I have 3 already and randomly asks me questions every few months. Yesterday he asked a question and I gave my opinion and then this morning I sent him Mothering's Case Against Circumcision since they are having a boy. I feel like I may have put my foot in my mouth. I tend to do that about things I'm passionate about. Oh well. Sigh.
I didn't worry a speck until my 4th pregnancy! My gosh, sometimes I have to force negative thoughts out of my head.
Thanks Kali, it was you I remember now, having contractions. I am totally feeling them.
And I just remembered something else- afterpains!! arg. I need to look at pictures of babies and try to remember the yumminess more!
Earthwalker, you might have felt movement and then your uterus grew so it's not so tight in there bumping the walls of your uterus so you can feel it. That's how it always goes, uterus grows and then baby grows to fill it up. Makes sense to me that you felt it before and now you don't.
Taryn, I'm totally outspoken and passionate about circumcision as well. I actually feel like it's an advocacy issue for a minor, so I don't ever feel bad about it. I'm happy to hear you are trying to educate them. I usually tell people that if they read all the research and watch NOCIRC's video on circumcision (which includes two standard circumcisions), then if they still want to do it I will leave them alone : )
Hmmm...I guess y'all are giving me something to look forward to - with DS I don't remember afterpains being so bad. They hurt, but just like regular cramping. I did have c/s so maybe the drugs I was on helped!
Jenny, you are right about the babe having more space in my uterus. I am about to post a pic from the ultrasound last week, and there is a lot more space compared to the 10wk pics.
Owl, I hope your mother has a good recovery! We'll miss you when you go camping for the summer and don't have internet. And how totally awesome-sauce that your step-dad gave you money for maternity clothes! I really need some, badly. A friend just sent over a bag of hers. I haven't looked at them yet, but knowing her they are probably really nice, and probably too big for me. She's like six inches taller than me. But I'm going to check them out, anyway! Sigh, I've just been too tired to go shopping!
Court, et al., I agree that the first trimester or so can be totally stressful. This is my first pregnancy after two early losses, so I'm way more anxious than I was in previous pregnancies. But I don't think it's a big deal to not feel the baby moving around. I *never* feel it this early. I have been having some cramping. It doesn't feel like contractions to me. It just feels crampy, and to me, those are different. I've also had some pains in my old c-section scar. I really think it's all just stretching out, no big deal.
In other news, my morning sickness is disappearing; I only take the Unisom a couple times a week now. And the horrible hip pain has mostly gone away! I think sleeping with a body pillow has made a huge difference; just hope it doesn't come back! So, since I'm feeling better, I went for another run today. I'm in such bad shape that I can't even finish an easy run, LOL, but I'm working up to it. I got back on MyFitnessPal.com, and joined their pregnancy group, and changed my goal to "maintain weight." (That's what the other posters in the pregnancy group recommended for the first trimester, then change it to "gain 1/2 pound per week" after that.) I don't think I can possibly eat that many calories in a day, though -- not if I'm eating healthy food! I still have almost 1300 calories left today -- just for dinner! (And I had a brownie with lunch!) When I was trying to lose weight, 1300 was my goal for the WHOLE DAY. But, anyway, I'm not going to force myself to eat. I just figure it will be easier to eat healthy if I keep track of it.
I had awful heartburn last night. I thought it was too early for that but zucchini with tomato sauce and sausage did me in. I try not to take Tums because I've had kidney stones but I had to. It was still so bad that I was googling natural remedies and saw almonds help so at 1am I was eating handfuls. Ugh.
I had a pretty wonderful dream last night. I was asleep in the dream and woke up with baby about to be born. I was in the hospital but alone in my room and I reached down and felt the top of baby's head. So I decided not to call a nurse. Baby came out in a few pushes with very little pain and I caught him. It was a boy (which we are hoping for) and then DH and all the kids came in and climbed on the bed (which was about the size of a house at that point) and we started taking some pictures.
I would never really think about unassisted birthing (hubby would look at my like I had 3 heads) but the dream was wonderful. It was just so peaceful.