Background - My DS just turned 5. He's in a 4K program at the day care he's been going to since he was a baby, next year he will go to public school for 5K. All year, he's been having some issues that his teacher is now trying to label "sensory processing disorder" and she describes him as very impulsive. While I agree that he probably does have some really specific issues, I don't think I'd classify him as having a disorder. This isn't me being all "my special snowflake couldn't possibly have anything wrong with him", it really isn't. I have quite a few mom-friends that I've bounced this all off of already, some of whom have first-hand experience with the disorder and they all think the teacher is way out of line. Some think she's trying to explain the lack of control she has over her classroom (12 very rambunctious boys and 2 girls - it's a bit chaotic at best).
There are some behaviors that fall on SPD lists and could be considered impulsive. He was very difficult to potty-train, but we got through it. He used to screech. A lot. His voice now is often loud, and we often have to remind him to use his inside voice at the dinner table, for instance. Although if you spent a day in his classroom, everyone is yelling at each other and talking over each other. Most of the time you have to talk loud to be heard. He has always had trouble with transitions, although it's not as bad now. He used to refuse to wear jeans and shirts with collars, although he's starting to grow out of it. If you say something he doesn't like, he often immediately makes a disrespectful face, grunts, and/or makes this "claw" gesture with his hand that looks threatening. He just can't stop himself when his emotions get the better of him. He has a hard time sitting still during circle time. He will occasionally lash out at a friend for no apparent reason (or a reason that he can articulate anyway). There are a couple of kids that seem to know how to push his buttons and one of whom has his own issues and I think some of that is overwhelming to him.
I've described all of this to my friends (esp with boys) and they all say that all of it is within the range of normal. That yes, he may be socially immature for his age (while being academically advanced on the other hand), but that I will be surprised what a year will do. That next year starting in a new school with new friends in a more structured environment might turn him into a whole different kid.
I'm sitting here in the middle trying to figure out what to do. The teacher and director (who has a middle school aged kid who has some sort of diagnosis himself) suggesting we start some sort of process with his future elementary school sooner rather than later, although they have no idea what that process would be. I don't want to put a label on him unless he actually needs it. If there's really not a problem besides immaturity that he'll grow out of, I don't want his new teachers having preconceived notions about him. He knows right from wrong, he's a sweet and loving kid most of the time, he's smart as a whip. He will talk your ear off and make up elaborate stories. He is not shy at all. None of my friends that know him can believe that the teacher would jump to this conclusion. Yes, he's quirky. With parents like his, I am not surprised in the least that he's quirky. ;)
In my mind, I think I'd like to wait and see what happens in 5K, and in the meantime, I'd like to learn about some of the techniques used in SPD to work on a specific behavior and see what sticks. Is there a good resource that I can mine for ideas? Books, websites?
Any thoughts about pursuing a diagnosis of very borderline behavior at this age?