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May the road rise up to meet you, Dingoes everywhere! - Page 13

post #241 of 371
On snarky men, my DH struggled with it when our DD was much younger. She had talked to him about it several times to no avail. She came to me crying one time and that's when I let him have it. And a favorite quote around this house is often heard "it's not funny unless everyone is laughing." I use this at work all the time now too.

Baby pudge. So many have said such wonderful things. I find myself rereading them just because they are so helpful. I do especially like the ideas of focusing on health and strength, can your body do what you wanted to do? Also what gives you joy? I can see where the sugars and starches stimulate the pleasure center in our brain, whereas if we find some activity instead that does the same, it eliminates the need for the food to do it. That idea really brought it home to me in understanding the function of food and pleasure.

Mel Try to carve some time where you can rest. Allow your kids to pick up slack where possible. Let some things slide. Take care of yourself too.

I am picking up a ukulele from a friend this morning for my daughter. They are offering free ukulele lessons this summer. Cool and neat opportunity. All for fun.

Obviously no running for me, I've gained weight, I hate that. But I am hoping the doctor has some ideas of what I can do. Everything I have tried has not worked. I've rested, worn the boot religiously, stretched, yoga, walking…
post #242 of 371
BBM - it's wonderful to see you here, but I'm so sorry you can't run. I hope the visit to the doctor will answer some questions for you. I am just back to running semi-regularly after almost 4 years of injury myself. I know how you feel. PT, steroid injections, and ultrasound on a torn glute med were what got me back in the game (although I know I'll never be back to my old distances). You'll be out there again soon too.

Plady - oh, how well I know the siren song of carbs and sugar! I fear my DD1 hears it too and lacks the self control to regulate her intake. I have stopped bringing it into the house. Yesterday she ate a pint of strawberries for her snack, which is better I suppose. I think reducing the availability is the key, but I also know how hard that it in the world we live in.

MelW - I hope your DH's arthritis improves and you get a break too.

Hi towsonmama!!!!

jooj - love your little old couple story! Hope your DH can make a visit to the states work this summer.

RR - plan to reacquanit myself with the pool this morning. It's time.

NRR - Only 3 more days of school! Woo Hoo!!!
Edited by JayGee - 5/22/13 at 5:21am
post #243 of 371
Whoops. Double post.
Edited by JayGee - 5/22/13 at 5:20am
post #244 of 371

I re-read this and it sounds more harsh than I intended. Please forgive the tone.

 

 

Do I post that my own children are so slender that we've brought ice cream back into the house after banning it shortly after baby 1 was born? My own kids will gobble and I do mean gobble sweets, given the chance. Snacks at our house are popcorn + nuts, fruit + nuts, or something else when dh is manning the show. So...disclaimer aside. Here are my thoughts.

 

Soccer camp won't work. Because it's a one week thing. Or a 2 day thing or whatever. The overall changes: mental and physical are lifestyle changes that you want to happen. As Jo talks about it isn't fun to be on a team if, well, you suck. (I'm not saying she does, I'm just telling you my own experience).  I see a great spot here to find a "thing" you both like to do and make time for it 3 times a week. Bike riding? Walking? Hiking? Swimming?  When you're a kid you don't break out of a fitness slump all by yourself. So maybe it becomes your family goes for a walk every day after dinner. We did this when we lived in Geofizz's neighborhood (not at the same time as her, mind you). But we lived next door to a couple who had their first baby. They had each put on 30 lbs in the first year. We all took a walk each evening and although my dh and I were too fit to realize much benefit (other than fun conversation), my neighbors began to drop weight like nobody's business. Super fun too to walk with a couple you like.

 

 

 

 

Myself?  Swimming is somewhat ended. (which means I have to pay again if I want to go and I can't go for the entire summer, just select few days). My intention was bike riding 4-5 times a week or 3 times a week + a run.  Annnnnd. Rain. Serious rain. The kind that makes the water flow over the road. May the sun shine tomorrow.
 

post #245 of 371
I am jumping in because Plady knows I share parts of that issue with my middle daughter. We do try to talk about health and I try to keep her active. Swim team is good but a burst of output when the rest of the day is sedentary isn't the right lifestyle. Food-wise, I am trying to only bring good choices into the house, keep her vegetable intake at the high levels, making meals satisfying, we are even limiting fruit, etc. My youngest will live on junk food he scavenges (he has a family he targets at swim practice for example) and then will eat only fruit at home if i am not careful. He doesn't have a weight issue so we do frame it in terms of health and then clearer skin for the teens. With a couple of relatives recently diagnosed with type 2 diabetes and prediabetes the health not skinniness is being discussed. Here too activity is just as important as food intake but like lofty said it can take so much out of me to get them moving. I have talked to her about maintaining weight while growing taller but that isn't happening. I can talk about it so reasonably (I think) but putting it into practice and seeing results is much more difficult.
post #246 of 371
Quote:
Originally Posted by mommajb View Post

Here too activity is just as important as food intake but like lofty said it can take so much out of me to get them moving. ..........<snip>...................... I can talk about it so reasonably (I think) but putting it into practice and seeing results is much more difficult.

Yes. this. and this.

post #247 of 371

Hiya Townson and BBM!

 

RR Ran last night before the cool air moved in.  <pant, pant>

 

I share the concerns about my daughter's 'go to' items for snacking and treats.  We've struggled as even though we keep it to a minimum at home, DD's behavior is a bit extreme around sweets at school, scouts, soccer, band and the 10000 other places where "the kids have worked so hard, they deserve a treat!" turns up.  She'll snarf, push food in with two hands, beg for more.  It's appalling and worrisome.  We talk mostly about manners around situations like these, though in a 1 step forward, 2 steps back kind of way. 

 

Strategies that work at home:

Leave out a plate of cut up carrots, celery, and fruit.

Limit toast to 1 slice a day or require that all toast have peanut butter

 

We spend a lot of time talking about how proteins help you feel full for longer, and if you are snacking a lot on the same things that might be a sign that it's not filling the current nutritional need for your body.  This particular topic of conversation is a result of the fact that my kids seem to ride so close to the minimum on protein intake and we see it in their behavior when they skimp.

 

But Plady, isn't your DD still on Prozac, and is she still getting therapy?  Honestly, weight and health issues aside, it seems that self-esteem and sense of self worth are the most important things to protect at this point.  If weight gain is a side effect of the medication, then you should have a discussion with the prescribing doctor about that and explore if something can be adjusted.  Is she involved in any activities outside of school?  It doesn't have to be active, but being part of a group will help with the social issues and will help with self-esteem which can then ultimately help her towards making healthy choices.  Would she benefit from a social skills class, or some similar group that's not so specialized like scouting?

 

Thinking completely independently of exercise activities, what does she like to do? 

post #248 of 371
But I think talking about "health" is boring and restrictive too. I think Jo hit it on the head (and recalled to me the very experiences Ive had...) when she talked about finding what you love, finding nourishment in your life, so that food becomes more of the fuel that it is (I'm not one who believes that food is just fuel - sometimes it is, and sometimes it is more). I too drop weight when I travel. I also realized somewhere in my twenties that my 'hunger' was for creative expression, and if I found a project (art, writing, building, gardening, strategizing, CREATING) to be absorbed in, I was far less interested in food. I agree that she needs to find what she loves, and then do everything you can to help her throw herself into it. Also just being outdoors; my kids sometimes spend the whole day running around our neighborhood from house to house. We hike, bike, and swim a lot in summer. i.e. nature is a balm for me so by default, my kids get out in it. We walk whenever we can. But there is also something to the intuitive eating thing, which is just about tuning in to what you are really hungry for, and how you feel after you eat. Learning what real hunger and satiety feel like. My kids are also genetically slim and like activity, so I dont really have that problem, but I do teach/enforce balanced eating, which means that you need to have some protein, fat, and/or vegetable with every meal. When DD1 ordered the waffles with whipped cream and strawberries I asked her to eat some eggs with it so she had sustained energy and not a peak/crash. That's what I mean by balance. I will say that we dont do a lot of fruit, and there's no white flour or white flour products in the house (I try to avoid wheat in general, just b/c its such a defacto grain in all our lives, that I figure they'll get enough in food they eat that I dont make, so I bake with other grains). I ask them to put nuts or nut butter in their oatmeal, I use garbanzo bean flour in everything I bake (pancakes, etc.). IN general, I try to create protein, fat, carb balance in my cooking in a way that they dont necessarily notice. I whip cream without sugar and consider that a good fat to have with pancakes made partially w/ bean flour. Balance lol.gif But yeah, I think that's all surface stuff. The root of it is tuning in to your SELF; what do you love, what do you want to be every day, what are you doing to create yourself, and what pursuits nourish this? .... Its a lifetime work...
post #249 of 371

Thank you for the valuable perspectives!  We had a little victory here this morning that the kids don't even realize.  There is a bake-off happening later today at which they would be the reigning champions and I feel/felt some pressure to let them go and defend their title by baking something and then of course there would be the going and eating part.  Terrible timing in light of my fresh panic over waistlines.  Anyway, at breakfast I asked them what's on the schedule today and the little one immediately piped up that she wanted to swim after school.  Since older one didn't mention the bake-off I asked her if she'd like to do a little bootcamp style workout with me while little one is at the pool and she got all into it and helped me come up with the plan ('don't forget burpees!").  So all that activity will take the place of having time to bake anything and we'll all be so tired by the end of that that even if someone remembers the bake-off event it will be too late to bother.  

 

Of course that's only a solution for today.  I agree Kerc that day camps aren't big picture enough, I just keep thinking that you just never know where the spark is going to light.  There's always that possibility of getting that one inspiring coach who has just the right combination of words to set a new path, you know?  And they don't hurt, she is registered to play soccer in the fall and it can't hurt to brush up over the summer.

Jo, I really like the idea of satisfying the pleasure seeking with activity, of any kind.  I'll have to think on this and try to figure out a way to help her do the things that feed her soul.  Like Lofty, I get exhausted from creating events.  But I'll try to get over myself on that, I know she would appreciate it.  

 

I do think that we have a pretty healthy house. (In fact, I've heard from more than one source that dd's friends try to avoid being here for mealtimes because they don't like/are afraid to eat what I serve eyesroll.gif and greensad.gif ). I don't buy processed food almost ever with the exception of things like curry paste and barbecue sauce which are hardly snack staples.  But treats are so omnipresent the minute they leave the house it's incredibly frustrating.  Ali G is exactly like Mommajb's little ds, maybe there was something in the stars the week they were born?  She can charm anything off anyone and then eat a bushel of fruit at home if I let her.  She tried to go to school with just an apple, an orange and an asian pear for lunch today.

But also true what Mommajb says about you can't offset a sedentary day with a short burst of activity.  That's a big challenge, making the day less sedentary generally.

 

BBM - So glad you're here!  I'm sorry to hear about the long and frustrating road you're on wrt healing to run.  

 

Towsonmama!  Good to see you checking in too!

 

MelW - You've got a huge load.  I hope you can find some time for just you that doesn't increase your stress over what you feel you *should* be doing.  In the meantime enjoy your pity party, you've earned one.

 

Jo - I hope your old man can make it to the ball with you. I am happy for you and the kids that your days there are so close to an end for a while.

post #250 of 371

Sparkle - Yes, <sigh> it is a lifetime's work.  

post #251 of 371
Plady - I think you're on the right track with your DD. It's scary how ubiquitous processed, unhealthy food is in our society. At church, my kids get candy if they memorize their bible verse. At school this week, it's been popsicle party, birthday cake, cupcakes and an ice cream sundae party. As far as movement, I think it's something that needs to be integrated into daily life. Riding bikes places, walking more, less driving. I love your bootcamp idea for tonight smile.gif.

RR - kicked off my honest-to-goodness tri training this morning with 15 miles on the road bike and 1250 yards in the pool. My swimming stinks. Luckily, I have almost 3 months until the tri.

Mel - can you put me on the race list for the GeoComfort TriGreen Triathlon on August 11. I'm doing the sprint distance race.
post #252 of 371
Yes Jaygee! It frustrates me to no end! Why on earth do we need to pass out twizzlers after a soccer game. Aggravating and perplexing. I'm the weird mom too, fortunately the kids like our house enough to tolerate the no sugar.
post #253 of 371
Weird mom here too redface.gif Seaweed anyone lol.gif
post #254 of 371
My dh goes a little far, imho, but he will ask people if they're trying to kill our kids, or something like that. He likes to say, "I love you and that's why I'm not letting you have any [insert junk food]. One older woman at church acts genuinely offended when my dh doesn't let them have 2nds/3rds at church on Sundays. (She rolls her eyes in a very snooty way.) I argue hard to let them have 1 dessert, if only because it's so nice to sit around and have the conversation that goes with that. So the food item is part of a conversation and it's part of being gracious. But everywhere we go, people (innocently) want to "reward" our children with junk. Although my dh doesn't mince words and I wince sometimes, I know he's right. But geez, it's so prevalent that it becomes an issue even if you are trying to make it "an issue!"

RR: Today's plan is yoga or sprints but I woke up with cramps like I haven't had in at least a year. Waiting for them to subside w/o taking anything. :irk
post #255 of 371

We have similar issues with my oldest dd and food consumption/lack of activity. I frequently find myself asking her to respect her body as she's reaching for the second cupcake or downing an energy bar after eating pancakes and yogurt. I think she misreads thirst as hunger many times. This morning I asked her to drink a full glass of water before consuming the second round of breakfast. She rarely drinks unless prompted. Still, I hate policing her food, and I worry that I'm turning it into even more of an issue with my scrutiny. I've thought about enticing her into activity by starting a daily walk each evening, just the two of us. But dinner, homework, life, etc. all seem to get in the way.

 

I'm frustrated with my own weight lately and also worry that I'm putting my own issues on her prematurely and unnecessarily. I need to start running more miles and working in strength training. Right now I feel too fat to run so I don't do it as much as I used to, thereby causing myself to gain weight. I recognize the vicious cycle but can't seem to break it. Right now I'm telling myself I'll be better this summer, but I'm angry at myself and a little depressed about letting it get to this point. And I REALLY don't want to wear a bathing suit this weekend! Damn Memorial Day pool openings.

post #256 of 371

We've addressed those issues head on:  For teachers that give candy rewards for turning in the blasted homework, we offer to provide other rewards.  We have the "out" that the dentist has said that DD may not be eating that stuff.  For the other things, we've had very open discussion about exactly what everyone's saying here: It's not necessary, rewards lose their luster when their constant, it's bad for your health, etc, etc.  By nature of the science geeky nature of my kids, we've also spent a lot of time talking about why we're evolutionarily primed to seek out sweets, and what that did to serve people living on the margins of starvation.  We talk about how blood chemistry responds to a spike of sugar, and how it can be used and abused. 

 

The message has been received on one level, but clearly not on another.  One kid acts like she hasn't been fed for 2 weeks anytime she's given a brownie after 30 minutes of soccer.  My hope is that, as with anything where we live and act outside the center of mainstream, my kids need to be armed with a lot of support and information as to why we do what we do.
 

post #257 of 371

My kids have gone through phases of eating too much junk. It was much easier to simply manage what was available when they are younger but once they are teens and earning a pay cheque? Ugh. The bags of Doritos, 2L bottles of pop, doughnuts, etc that made their way into this house made me cringe. They have each gone through a binge phase and then outgrew it on their own. Having them pay for their own junk food helps. One by one I have seen them make the realization that it makes them feel yucky and costs too much. That said, dd2 has a bit of a poutine thing going on right now and I am just waiting it out, for her to realize that it is expensive and makes her sluggish. She also loves healthy food and I just keep my fingers crossed that things will balance out soon.

 

I think it was the end of March when I started the Whole 30/paleo diet. I haven't been completely strict, a couple of times I have eaten lentils or dairy but never more than once a week. I feel so much better, the pain and inflammation throughout my body is considerably less, my asthma is much better, I have much more energy, I am sleeping better without so much pain and this morning I discovered that I have dropped two sizes. I still haven't found the time and energy to exercise properly yet but I am doing some strength and flexibility exercises in little bits a few times a day. As long as I drink lots of water and herbal and green tea and make sure I eat lots of protein early in the day, I don't crave carbs at all. I hate to admit it but I am even finding I am losing my taste for chocolate greensad.gif and realizing I don't feel well after I eat even a tiny bit of dark chocolate. I had a toasted sandwich at a gluten free cafe last week and while I loved the taste and feeling of crunching into toast, I paid for it for three days after even though it was gluten free, so grain free I remain. It has been quite a shift since I was mostly vegetarian but my ideals have been humbled as I feel and see my health improving.

 

My RR goal is to get to the point of being able to do 30 minutes of yoga/pilates a day without having to break it up to let my body rest this summer and to be able to do Couch to 5K in the fall. I want to run like a Dingo again!

post #258 of 371

Oh good Shanti!!  I'm so happy that a new diet has helped your health issues. YAY!

 

 

 

Me: total sloth. Total.

But being reminded daily about why I feel so crazy --> I am the super glue of the KERC manor lifestyle.

DH, done with work for the summer. Me: notsomuch.

Dh took a nap. Forgot to go grocery shopping. Also failed to hit target and the co-op (whole foods store).

Dh failed to tell me he was running a race this evening.

No one has vacuumed in almost a week. Mostly because I haven't said, "Hey would you vacuum?"

Need one week at a hotel by myself to get my s**t done for work. Then we can all collapse into summer.

post #259 of 371

Towson and BBM, blowkiss.gifWelcome back! Towson, I hope you get some answers that get you back running. It sucks when you don't want to, and sucks even more when you want to and can't.

 

Just look at our conversation on the weight/lifestyle issue. It is obviously a problem we have to address from all sides, and it is clearly an issue of trends, and another downside of this whole industrial age thing. Don't get me wrong--there is so much to be thankful for, but jeezo-pete, between the dietary mess, the sedentary life and the incredibly scary effects of pollution (plutonium!?), what an overwhelming mess. I am living in this strange little bubble that gets access to every New American Thing without the usual lead-up to it, like prohibitive cost, cultural resistance, etc. Thus, the diet for most people here is solidly fast food. No one walks anywhere. Once the temp hits 100, locals (and most expats) can't be seen outside unless walking from car to mall entrance. AC or nothing. No one (except me) does even their own housework, grocery shopping, or even child-rearing. I have to admit that I honestly don't know what they do, besides sit at desks in "jobs," watch movies and maybe stroll malls (at a pace that would frustrate even the most patient Dingo). Oh, and eat cake and drink coffee. And KFC.

 

The result? Staggering health issues. Five years ago, 38% of Emirati women were classified as obese. My guess is that the number has not fallen. A quarter of the people here are diabetic. An estimated third of them are undiagnosed. And that's just the single most obvious effect.

 

And then, when looking at my family's activity levels, I realized we don't just swim or bike or go walking or running. We have to haul our bikes up the parking ramp, then bike to the beach club, then swim, then bike back. Or rollerblade to park day, where the kids play hard for two hours before we rollerblade back. We carry our groceries a couple of blocks to get them home. My mall aversion means we are rarely in the presence of all those "food" vendors, and dd and I get carsick, so we don't often cab around town. We go where we can walk or bike. I sometimes do make my kids pay for their own junk food, like an ice cream cone on the Corniche. They pay for their own movie rentals. They obviously don't pay for real food of any kind. (So yes, I tax junk food.)

 

I make sure dd always has art supplies. She likes to take baths, paint her nails, write stories, make tea, and cook meals. Ds has the sweeter tooth, but he also doesn't seem driven to mindlessly wolf, which gives me some rest. They run errands for me, take out all trash, and contribute to housework. I push activity, but not specific performance, so they push themselves or each other and that's fine with me. They have a naturally slim father and that's lucky. So both kids have something like perfect body fat levels, but it doesn't mean I don't worry and overthink every inclination to eat junk food or spend an afternoon on the couch, or sit for two hours playing some video game on their ipods (which they do together so I should be happy on some level) once in a while.

 

All that said, I know from experience that diet is bigger than exercise with regard to adipose. On the most basic level. BUT exercise promotes strength and well-being, provides those pleasurable feelings from endorphins, and fills time that might otherwise be spent mindlessly noshing. I know for a fact that I eat better on days when I also work out.

 

Speaking of, it's 88F out there right now, high of 103F forecast for today, so I guess I'd better get out now. Will probably mostly walk, and then will grab the kids and take them out for a swim on the beach before it climbs to 100F. Our last weekend here begins this afternoon.

post #260 of 371
1jooj--yes and yes on the trends having an impact on our health. Ironically, I was reminded that there was a grass fire on Rocky Flats land back in 2006. At first I wondered why I didn't know about that, and then I remembered that I DID know because I was out running by Standley Lake and saw the smoke. And, presumably, breathed the smoke. Were there plutonium particles in it? (I don't have an emoticon appropriate to this.)

tjsmama--the Rattlesnake Tri? I'd have to buy a wetsuit. Then again, I realized i was thinking about the Denver Tri because they moved it to September--but it would also mean buying a wetsuit. Le sigh. Maybe I'll stick to the West Side Duathlon on Aug. 25--not least because they have a Fat Tire division. Let's chat on the BB bus, shall we?

NRR: finished Full Body Burden. Need to check the water data that my city publishes once a year about contaminants (like plutonium and a host of others). Much of it was information I've read in one form or another, like about the fires, the blowing dust, and the fact that the clean-up was done too quickly. It is making me wonder, again, about the safety of biking through Candelas, the new development that backs up to the Rocky Flats border. Basically: do I chance breathing the dust there (and what particles are contained within) for the opportunity to bike on a long, hilly, wide and basically empty four-lane road, or do I bike where the air is probably cleaner but there's a ton more traffic and bike lanes only some of the time? Then there's the stuff I hadn't realized, like the fact that the cleanup was only done to a depth of 6 feet. Anything below that could remain untouched, like building foundations, basements, piping...not to mention that there are two on-site landfills that weren't cleaned either, and there's a good chance that whatever is stored in them is leaking into the ground. And that for years, they kept rusting metal barrels of radioactive waste out in the open, sitting on the ground. Those leaked. And, they used to "spray irrigate" the grounds with wastewater in order to reduce the amount of waste they needed to ship elsewhere. Some of that "water" ran off into the nearby creeks and then got into the drinking water. That was one of the two reasons the FBI raided the plant in 1989. They went up in a plane and took infrared photos and they could see the radioactive materials draining through the major waterways. Also, Rocky Flats was operating an incinerator that was supposed to be shut down and the photo captured the fact that it was releasing radioactive waste into the air.

What horrifies me most is that it's not just a NW Denver 'burbs thing or a Colorado thing. When they were taking soil samples near the plant last spring, they found some radioactive particles that could be traced to Fukushima. So we're all guinea pigs of one sort or another.
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