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Queer parents - Page 16

post #301 of 577
Thread Starter 
Yes! They're adorable.
post #302 of 577

esenbee--They look fantastic!  I'm so glad they are home.

post #303 of 577

Hello Everyone! I'm new here, but thought I'd stop in and say Hi! I'm mama to an almost 7 year old little girl and currently ttc :)

post #304 of 577
Thread Starter 
Hi Mandarie! I'll add you to the roster. Would you like to tell us more about yourself?
post #305 of 577
Esenbee--so cute!

Hi Mandarie--welcome! I hope we'll see you over in Queer Conceptions, too!

I have a quick question--when and how did you transition your kids into their own non-crib bed? E is in a minicrib (all her room can really accommodate) and it's getting a little tight. But she's only 16 months old, so it feels a little soon to let her have free run of the place after dark. DP does not want to just put her on a mattress on the floor (she's afraid of imaginary bugs) so we'd need to get a toddler bed (or something). She doesn't try to climb out of her crib yet, so it's not pressing, but she does end up against the walls of her crib every night and we just think she could use some more space. Any tips?
post #306 of 577
isa - the first time L jumped out of her crib was pretty scary for us. She kept doing it the whole night. DSp put the mattress on the floor, but L was not having it. DSp ended up spending some time in there with her and eventually she went to sleep. That was a 1 night thing; she didn't jump out again. When we did transition her to her bed with a toddler rail, she didn't know she had the option to get up out of bed, so she never did. I guess it just never occurred to her...
post #307 of 577
Thread Starter 
Isa, we sleep in the same room, so it may be different, but none of my kids have wandered at night. I doubt Soren could stay on a toddler bed without a rail. I think they like to smoosh up against edges.
post #308 of 577

Isa--we transitioned DS1 to a toddler bed with a rail (from Ikea) at 21 months--the rail goes about 1/2 way down the side of the bed.  We made sure the room was safe and put a baby gate up in the doorway.  We kept our bedtime routine exactly the same but since he was dropping his nap at that point (yes, cry for us) he was so dang exhausted at bedtime that he didn't wander.  Now (age 3) he sleeps in a twin bed in his room (it was SUPPOSED to be the parental desperation move bed option...and he was supposed to stay in the toddler bed...but apparently he got wind that the mattress on the big bed was better).  Moving him into a bed is on the list of the few things in parenting that were easier than we thought they'd be (other things have been harder!).

post #309 of 577
mrs^2 and bigfoot - how you guys doing??? DSp returned to work this week, it's been a challenge! Two tiny floppy babies are not easy to handle and hold at the same time! They both need to be held after nursing or they are NOT happy!
post #310 of 577
Thread Starter 
SNB, Soren was my floppiest and it worked well to swaddle him to firm him up enough to be lifted one handed.
post #311 of 577
Hi everyone! I just got an email from Maia Midwifery (the practice founded by Stephanie Brill, author of The New Essential Guide to Lesbian Conception, Pregnancy, and Birth) saying that they are now offering fertility webinars. They are focused mostly on queer fertility services, which I thought y'all might like to know about. You can find more info here: http://maiamidwifery.com/webinars/

post #312 of 577
Thanks for asking, SNB. I try to read here but find it hard to find time to post lately! We are exhausted, but good. We often aren't getting much sleep at night, so I am not getting as much done around the house as I would like. Oh well. We have a meal train feeding us for one more week, which has been a life saver. I don't know how you are doing it on your own and with another little one! Luckily I am still home from work. Our teenager went back to school yesterday, but he is a helpful extra pair of hands at times. I was going to suggest exactly what seraf said. They are easier to handle when snuggly swaddled! Are you able to nurse them at the same time yet? That is still challenging here but getting better. I want to see more pics of your guys!!

post #313 of 577
Thread Starter 
Beautiful boys!
post #314 of 577

Isa.. when we had foster kids we had a mini crib set up and often DP nanny kid napped in it and slept over night a few times in it.. he was 2 and big.. i think they learn and usually take comfort in the small space.. if she seems happy in there and is not climbing out.. I suggest letting her be.. 16 mo in a bed is early... our ped suggests cribs as long as you possibly can.. that being said are u sure a bigger crib wont fit? we have a small room and fit 3 full cribs.. the ikea crib is pretty small.. we have graco laurens ( found at target and such) and they fit snug but they do fit :)


Esenbee.. glad you are home and adjusting to life with 2 tiny beings...your boys are cute!

Bigfoot.. love all your photos.. those boys are to cute as well... 


Hello to everyone else.... 


We are 6.5 months old..and eating food, rolling over and generally happy boys.. August and Finn sleep 7-7 ( sometimes wake up for a pacifier fix) but no eating between 7-7 :) wohoo.. Gage on the other hand sleeps 7-12:30 and then up again at 4 am.. then ends up in bed with us.. hes def not ready to be out of our room or not eat at night..


weights as of today.. August is 15.8 and is 26.5 inches long..... Gage is 13 pounds 3 oz and 25.5 inches long.. And Finn who was the smallest at birth is now the biggest at 16 pounds and shortest at 25 inches...


starting next week I am going to be adding a baby to our days 2-3x a week 8 hrs a day.. its a way to add a little income.. and the baby is 4 months old.. seems to be an easyvhappy baby... hoping im not crazy LOL


Now here are some photos of my little men!!





post #315 of 577
Cananny--so cute! And I think you're right about leaving her a little longer. Her daycare provider said that she'll be moving to a cot for naps soon, so I think we'll get her used to that first and see how it goes before we make the switch. I feel like there's some rule of thumb about being over a certain size before babies can really sleep through the night--maybe Gage just hasn't crossed that threshold yet. It's got to be bittersweet not being able to sleep all night but also getting extra baby cuddles!

Bigfoot--oh they are so precious! I can't believe how small they are, too! Hard to remember, already!

thanks everyone else for weighing in! I think we're going to see how long it takes before she tries to make an escape...
post #316 of 577
bigfoot I have gotten better with tandem nursing, but not lying down for night feedings. They have been doing good. I am currently not doing any bottles since returning my pump rental, until I get another one from my insurance coverage. They have still gained weight, so they are doing a-okay without the fortifier and more than 3 breastfeeds a day. I mean, what is 2 more calories? IDK, I'm not a NICU dietician, so I won't go any further on that.

I have quite a time with getting them to sleep in the past week... but a few days ago we found what has seemed to work. We discovered it during the day, so tried it during the night. The only way they sleep and stay asleep for naps or between nighttime feedings is unswaddled and on their bellies. Should they only be sleeping on their backs???
post #317 of 577
Esenbee... One of my boys has always been a tummy sleeper... Do what feels right to you smile.gif
post #318 of 577

Esenbee, as long as they're on a firm surface without anything around their faces (blankets, pillows, toys, etc) they'll most likely be fine.  Keep up the breastfeeding, you're doing a PHENOMENAL JOB!!!!!!!!!  As for post feeds, since they're still quite small, can you tuck both of them into a wrap and then you can at least have your hands free while they snooze?   I missed the whole section about why they're on fortifiers (I'm assuming it's for growth?), but if you are able to keep them skin to skin with you as much as possible and nurse on demand, they'll catch up plenty quick (this comes from oodles of research that was done in countries without NICUs, where prems are kept skin to skin 24/7 and often finger fed expressed milk or breastfed and they do extremely well!!).  


I cared for 2 tiny twin girls last night and tucked them into a next together for some sisterly bonding time (they can't be co-bedded due to CPAP, twins tend to pull it off the other's face) and enjoyed just watching them try to suck on each other's heads/elbows in the face/holding hands/touching each other/etc, ugh twins are just the SWEETEST!!!!  The girls are 34 weeks corrected now and just tiny (1800g a piece).  I find swaddling them tight (and keeping the blanket under their shoulders up quite high, above their ears) helps in making them less floppy as I'm moving them around, or using a thicker blanket (like a towel) will help stabilize their neck/core.  They're now too big to put in my pocket (DARN!).  


Seraf, after all your demos with sheets/fabric for wraps, I pilfered an adult flat sheet and used it as a sling for a big kid (uhh, 4 months old) who was NOT happy with being left by himself at 5am when CLEARLY it was play time!!  He *loved* it and my co-workers all thought I was either completely insane or a genius, but it kept us from losing our minds at 5am (he's the loudest screamer I've ever heard in my life).

post #319 of 577
darth -I was restricted to 3 breastfeeds a day because they need to preserve calories and ?it burns more calories to nurse than to bottle feed? But I have heard the other way around and even the NICU lactation consultant said something to effect that it was easier for them to nurse... but the fortifier is just for more calories and growth, as well as bone development? IDK, I dont think they get many moms who want to breastfeed, just moms who know mother's milk is better, so they pump for a little while. They never seemed supportive of actual nursing, probably because they aren't able to easily monitor how much they ate...
post #320 of 577
My boys never got brother time... greensad.gif and werent able to be co-bedded, something about the AAP and suffocation.... I'm still a little worried about them being separated for that long greensad.gif
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