Today is my 29th birthday. My mother is out of town. My best friend lives half a country away. My brother and I seem to rarely talk anymore, even though he lives about four miles away and we used to be very close, so I don't expect to hear from him.
I brought ds to see his dad for the evening and there wasn't even a single hint of an acknowledgement that it's my birthday.
So today, instead of celebrating, I'm noting how everything is so different - some for the better, some for the worse. The worse - I'm coming to the realization that stbx and I will never truly be friends. It doesn't matter how I try. He's not mature enough for it.... and I'm pretty sure he never will be.
The better - I can realize this and feel sad about it, but also know that life goes on. Not sink in despair.
So, I went to get myself a piece of cheesecake. Because a girl should have cheesecake on her birthday if she wants it. And I met the loveliest man. Jim was his name. He's a violinist and told me he's been coming to that pastry shoppe since 1979. He told me I had eyes just like his Irish grandmother and that I was "absolutely precious" and should know to wait for love, to trust in love, that it will come. He quoted me his favorite line from "A Man For All Seasons," reminded me to live in a way that makes my soul sing, and kissed me on the cheek. He said, "God Bless," and even though I'm pretty sure I don't believe in his God, I was compelled to say it back.
This is the stuff that life is all about, mamas. Meeting people like Jim, being pulled out of yourself, human kindness.
It's been a good day.
I brought ds to see his dad for the evening and there wasn't even a single hint of an acknowledgement that it's my birthday.
So today, instead of celebrating, I'm noting how everything is so different - some for the better, some for the worse. The worse - I'm coming to the realization that stbx and I will never truly be friends. It doesn't matter how I try. He's not mature enough for it.... and I'm pretty sure he never will be.
The better - I can realize this and feel sad about it, but also know that life goes on. Not sink in despair.
So, I went to get myself a piece of cheesecake. Because a girl should have cheesecake on her birthday if she wants it. And I met the loveliest man. Jim was his name. He's a violinist and told me he's been coming to that pastry shoppe since 1979. He told me I had eyes just like his Irish grandmother and that I was "absolutely precious" and should know to wait for love, to trust in love, that it will come. He quoted me his favorite line from "A Man For All Seasons," reminded me to live in a way that makes my soul sing, and kissed me on the cheek. He said, "God Bless," and even though I'm pretty sure I don't believe in his God, I was compelled to say it back.
This is the stuff that life is all about, mamas. Meeting people like Jim, being pulled out of yourself, human kindness.
It's been a good day.
: 
