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When do you tell family and older siblings?

post #1 of 22
Thread Starter 

My kids are going to be so excited and I'm dying to tell them.  I'm waiting for a few reasons. 1. in case of heartbreak. 2. because they'll tell everyone.  3.  because they'll ask me ever single day if the baby is coming yet.


I think I'll wait until just before we hear the heartbeat, because I want to get a video of that for how we'll tell the rest of the family. But I keep wondering if we should wait until we actually do hear the heartbeat.


As for the rest of the fam, we'll tell them after we hear it.  Although, my mom asked me twice today if I was pregnant.  I lied.  :D

post #2 of 22

We already told our kids. Our 4-year-old got really quiet with a really happy smile on her face and just looked at my belly while I talked. It was so precious! She was one when I was pregnant with her brother and she would hug my belly and talk to him and totally knew that there was a baby in my belly. She's excited and keeps talking about when the baby gets here. She's such a great big sister :)

When I told our two-year-old, he just said "no" like he didn't believe me. Ha. There's time....

We're telling my parents tomorrow. We're going to have them pose for a photo with our kids and right before I take the picture I'm going to say "I'm pregnant!" and get their reactions.

For my husband's parents, we're telling them Wednesday. I'm not sure how we're telling them yet but we'll have Big Sister and Big Brother shirts by then, so maybe we'll let the kids announce it.

We're doing the shirt thing to tell my husband's extended family, and then I'm taking pictures of my kids in their shirts to announce it on Facebook.

post #3 of 22

We're waiting until 12 weeks to tell our families. I've had two miscarriages before (at 11 weeks, then 8 weeks) and honestly as bad as the miscarriages sucked, the over-the-top sympathy for my family was even worse. I just someone to acknowledge it and say "Sorry, that really sucks" but my family lays it on thick and that really made it harder to deal with the lose, for me. Plus it'll be Father's Day weekend so we'll be home and it seems like a good time. I'm waiting until then to tell my DD as well. She's been asking for a sibling for a few years and she's very sensitive so I'm afraid that if I tell her now and then miscarry she will be devastated. Although she's probably starting to wonder why I want to go to bed at 7 pm every night, lol!


But I've told a bunch of people at work already. I just can't keep it in!

post #4 of 22
We told our kids immediately. My 5yo knows we had two miscarriages and it has worked better for us to be open and honest the whole way through. The 2yo looks at me like I'm crazy because he's the baby and he's obviously not in my belly!

There is no keeping anything from my mom. She knew we were trying and asked at like 5dpo if I had peed on anything yet ROTFLMAO.gif So I called her the day I got a positive test. Every time in the past, she has been the one to call me and tell me she dreamed I was pregnant, so I figured instead of trying and failing at keeping it from her, I'd head her off at the pass.

I have my first OB appt (and likely ultrasound) at 8 weeks. If we hear the heartbeat and things look good then, we will tell the in-laws and close friends. Then we will wait until about 14 weeks to tell our extended families and 16 weeks or so to break the news to everyone and announce on Facebook and whatnot.
post #5 of 22

Right away.

post #6 of 22

We're telling our parents today and I'm so excited! My close childhood friend dreamed that I was introducing her to my daughter, but it was a child she hadn't met before. So I HAD to tell her! I mean, I couldn't just let her think her dream was nonsense! Plus it adds to my girl vibes ^_^

post #7 of 22

Well I wanted to wait to tell my DD, but it's going to be sooner rather than later now. I'm 6w 1d and since this is baby #4 my belly has just popped out! She looked at me tonight and said, "It looks like you're getting pregnant." Yeah, don't think I can keep it hidden another 6 weeks.

Originally Posted by Sihaya View Post
Every time in the past, she has been the one to call me and tell me she dreamed I was pregnant, so I figured instead of trying and failing at keeping it from her, I'd head her off at the pass.

This is funny because my mom is the same way. She won't necessarily dream about the specific person (I have 3 sisters) but each time one of us has been pregnant she has a dream about someone being pregnant and/or a new baby like a month or two before. I was home last month and she told me she'd been having "pregnant" dreams and said she really hoped it was me that ended up pregnant (as the other 3 sisters are permanently done) and not my 17-year-old niece. Guess she can stop worrying now, lol! 

post #8 of 22

That's a picture of my camera screen (I'll edit the real one later). We told my parents today and they were so happy! They thought they were only getting two grandkids, now they're getting three! My husband recorded their reaction and the video is just precious. Telling the in-laws tomorrow smile.gif
post #9 of 22

DH let it slip to our son, he is almost 2.5 and comes and tickles my stomach and says "Tickle, tickle baby" We told my parents shortly after we got the positive test, we were going to wait but I was feeling really sick and had to explain why. Turns out my mom had a dream the day before I got my BFP that I had two little boys, so she already knew I was pregnant. We are waiting to tell everyone else (Dhs family is a huge ball of negativity and honestly I don't want them to know until later so that the less negative energy they dump on us the better) Though Dh let it slip to a family friend, who may have told someone else and may get back to his sister. So we might have to tell them sooner to do damage control :/

post #10 of 22
We can't seem to keep ourselves contained. Joe told his old coworker/current friend who loves our son and just had a baby herself, and she was thrilled for us. I have told my younger brother and his wife as well as 3 friends. My friends might get chatty even though I'm swearing them to secrecy! I am going to tell 3 more friends today lol. And telling my mom when my younger bro, his wife, my husband and son and myself all go see her. I think I'll give her a framed pic of Homer and me and a framed pic of a paper that says "photo of next grandchild coming in jan 2014!" Or maybe I'll stick a big brother t shirt on my son! After Mom knows, I'll tell my other two brothers and my dad. And god forbid, if anything happens, all those people are the ones I would want to know about that, too. It's crazy how protective I feel of this little one already and hoping so hard everything goes well. It has in the past so hoping it does now too!

I also told my son (who is 2) but he is not really getting it, I don't think. I'll tell him again later as my belly grows! I did get him to say "I'm a big brother!" Which was very cute! I think that might be my video announcement to Facebook or something!

Reneekangaroo that pic is so cute!!
post #11 of 22

We told (and in this order) animals, our donor, one really good friend, and all of you! Everyone else, except parents and in-law's who are no longer in the picture, we are waiting until 2nd trimester or until I can't hide belly. smile.gif

post #12 of 22
I'm practically dying to tell my kids about it but we're waiting till 12 weeks, pretty much for the same reasons you mentioned. I'm going to have to tape their reactions, I think they'll be really excited. joy.gif

I might slip it to my parents a bit sooner, because they're a bit pissed over some things we are doing at the moment, because they don't know why we're doing it. Such as searching for a bigger apartment, when we only just moved here last January, and my transferring to another unit at the hospital, although I've only been there since January, because pregnant women aren't allowed to handle the drugs we use a lot, and besides I need to be somewhere were there's not a lot of physically hard work (besides, it's not really a fun place to work, but that's another matter). It might save us some arguments just to tell them. And yes, they are very meddling eyesroll.gif
post #13 of 22
We told my daughter, 13, immediately. My husband was encouraging me to wait, but I wanted her to be the first to know, and I knew I wanted to spill the beans to my two closest friends immediately. Also, I knew that if I were tired or nauseous she is old enough to put it together. She cried when I told her, which was sweet. She is thrilled. I also told two of my girlfriends and my younger sister who visited yesterday. We are waiting to tell everyone else at 8 weeks. I am afraid if I try to wait until 12 weeks it will already be obvious.
post #14 of 22

We told ours a few days after we found out.  No way I could hide it from my 16 year old daughter! :)  They are very excited!

post #15 of 22

We are living with my parents while looking for a house, so I told them a few days after we found out--there's just no way I could hide it and my mom was already dropping hints. We are waiting to tell my in-laws/public until my midwife apt next week. We had preterm labor last time and I want to hash out the treatment plan and discuss nursing during pregnancy with her before I get any questions. My mother-in-law is an OB nurse and she is very "involved," if you know what I mean. I was actually hoping to keep it quiet until 12 weeks, which would have worked with the first pregnancy, but this time around I'm already looking pretty pregnant at 5 weeks.


Anybody got any ideas about how to tell people? Rather than just blurting "I'm pregnant!"? I feel so awkward telling people I'm pregnant for some reason--my husband had to tell my mom because I couldn't figure out how to say it :P

post #16 of 22

htovjm,  I've been saying, "we're expecting a baby!"  I don't know why, I just love the phrase expecting.  :)


and the first time around, I asked my mom if she wanted to visit me in March and added, "because then you could visit Joe.. and me... and the BABY!"  I think most people would get excited at hearing it that way (only use if you really want them to visit of course, ha!), but my mom just got confused and was like, "what baby?"   And then even after I said "I am pregnant," she didn't react like I thought she would.


So this time I was prepared for more of the same, which turned out to be good.  My mom is weird.  Anyway, here's how I told my mom this time around:  I bought a new baby photo album, just a simple cloth album with a duckie on the front, it doesn't say anything.  Then I got index cards and stickers and markers, decorated the cards, and put them in the photo slots, and they said:


1st page:  Roses are red, Violets are blue, just thought you should know...

2nd page:  We're expecting baby #2!!!

3rd page:  Baby (and lots of pictures) coming January 2014


She liked it.  She said, "whaaaat? really?"  And I said yes, then she said, "you've already found a doctor?" and I said no, and then she said, "well, congratulations."  I was pretty deflated to tell the truth, but then two days later, she called me to ask me how I was feeling and to tell me about how she had shown her friend the album and let her open it and read it, and how excited the friend got, and how she HAD to call her other friend and tell her too.  So that is how she tells me she is excited, by sharing how she tells other people news, not by actually, you know, looking EXCITED in the moment or anything, that would be too easy I guess!! 


In cute news, my little 2 yr old boy was rolling around near my tummy, and I told him to be careful of the baby.  He furrowed his brow at me and I said, "Remember?  There's a baby in mommy's belly," and he lifted up my shirt super fast!!  Like, what are you hiding in there?!  It made me laugh so much.  And when I asked if he thought he'd have a brother or sister, he told me, "I be the brother.  You be the sister."  Hehehe!

post #17 of 22

thanks, meg007! What a great idea with the photo album! I can see how your phrasing could make it easier. I think part of my trouble is the fact that "I'm pregnant" is so focused on me and I hate to be the center of attention. "We're expecting" is a great way to diffuse the attention :)

post #18 of 22

Cool, yeah that totally makes sense! :)

post #19 of 22

We just found out a few days ago.  I thought I had a period the first of may but right after that my boobs were swollen and painful and my belly is SERIOUSLY poking (this is baby#4) but it's been 4 years since #3 and we've never tried to prevent so we are a little in shock. 


We were gonna wait to tell everyone until Father's Day, but my foster son was flipping through pics on my phone and found the one of my positive test.  So - now he knows.  Just have to see how long this belly holds out.  Wanting to wait at least until after I see a heartbeat on Wednesday. 

post #20 of 22

Only my mom, my MIL and one very close friend know right now. I had a m/c a few months ago and no one is expecting us to have #6, so we are planning to keep quite for some time. I know we for sure won't tell the kids until after the first trimester and we've heard a heartbeat. We may keep it under wraps until later than that if I don't start showing early.

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