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14 mo old whines only with me

post #1 of 6
Thread Starter 

I'm used to a high-needs baby/toddler from my first child, but lately I'm at a loss as to what to do w/my second. Almost constantly he's whining for me, wants to be held constantly, nurse on demand (very often), and cry if I don't meet his needs immediately. I've been blaming it on teething or seperation anxiety, but he's not like this if I'm not around, and not as much if we're around other people. He'll be fine w/DH, then I enter the room and he immediately cries, rushing to me to be held. This happens EVERY time. Or he'll be playing fine w/me in the same room and if I move it's like he remembers I'm around and runs screaming to me. 

I can't think of anything that's happened to make him be afraid I'll leave him or anything, and have been w/him since birth, seperate for at most maybe 5 hrs. What's the deal? Any tips? I'm starting to get scared to be near him and hiding in my room now (he's also up all night)...feeling smothered, am I a horrible mother for thinking this way??

post #2 of 6

OMG! This sounds like my son!  You are not a horrible mom for needing time...it can be taxing. Sorry to say but my son just mellowed this behavior a month ago when he turned 24 months.......eek..sorry. He will still do a panic cry and runs after me when I have just left his side to pee or simply blow my nose. It does feel like a bit of anxiety on his end. And I just sometimes think"poor guy" must feel awful to be on that end too. When we are with a group like at the grandparents he is super okay. Is there anyway your husband can give you some time like taking him for a walk?....Everyday..lol

post #3 of 6
Thread Starter 

Wow, 24 months! That's a long time for me to wait:( But you just mentioning anxiety...I guess I know that's what this must be, just never really thought more than he's needy! I'm gonna search for some homeopathic, or flower essences remedies to see if that will help! And maybe just wrapping him on me when I know I'm gonna be busy for a while and won't be able to pick him up.

post #4 of 6

Your a good mama..with ideas!!

Here is a thread I started that you may be interested in in a few months if things have not resolved. Best!

http://www.mothering.com/community/t/1375916/can-a-2-year-old-really-play-all-by-themselves

post #5 of 6
I found 11-15 months very hard. DD started really walking at 13.5 months and until she mastered it, was very clingy, easily frustrated and had trouble sleeping. By about 15 months she got very steady on her feet and that really helped mellow her out. She was also teething a lot which never helps. She was pretty easy from 15-20 months or so then had another big clingy/frustrated stage (I think this was related to her talking) which mellowed around her second birthday. I second tracyamber's suggestion to build some father-son time into the routine so you can get a rest from the demands. At our house, DH does bathtime each night then starts reading stories with DD before I come up for bedtime. That gives me an hour to unwind a bit. Lately I've also started going out in the evening to run errands and they hang out, sometimes even having supper without me. it helps me reset and be more engaged the next day.
post #6 of 6
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by tracyamber View Post

Your a good mama..with ideas!!

Here is a thread I started that you may be interested in in a few months if things have not resolved. Best!

http://www.mothering.com/community/t/1375916/can-a-2-year-old-really-play-all-by-themselves

I skimmed that thread, thanks. It seems the consensus is every child is different, more toys or interesting things might be great for one child, but for those like ours, they just need us. As for your wondering in the thread if you 'did something to make him like that', I doubt it. DS1 is very independent. Just turned 3, but has been able to play on his own and enjoy it for over a year. He was never in this stage like DS2. DS2 will practically hyperventilate if I don't pick him up when he chases me, even if DH does! He'll scream for me until I pick him up, then he's fine.

Quote:
Originally Posted by skycheattraffic View Post

I found 11-15 months very hard. DD started really walking at 13.5 months and until she mastered it, was very clingy, easily frustrated and had trouble sleeping. By about 15 months she got very steady on her feet and that really helped mellow her out. She was also teething a lot which never helps. She was pretty easy from 15-20 months or so then had another big clingy/frustrated stage (I think this was related to her talking) which mellowed around her second birthday. I second tracyamber's suggestion to build some father-son time into the routine so you can get a rest from the demands. At our house, DH does bathtime each night then starts reading stories with DD before I come up for bedtime. That gives me an hour to unwind a bit. Lately I've also started going out in the evening to run errands and they hang out, sometimes even having supper without me. it helps me reset and be more engaged the next day.

Yeah, DH has always done bedtime, I'm just too controlling so tend to hover. Or, he often forgets bedtime is approaching and they're going crazy, forget dinner (DH and I eat after they're in bed, so I'm normally making dinner as they're eating leftovers from the night before). So then, it annoys me so much and already on my last string that I just do it. I'm gonna talk to him more about it though, I think he gets it now, after watching DS chase me around last weekend.

He's been walking since 10 months, is pretty good runner now, so no relief there! He does not communicate well, though. Very few words or signs, so that might be a lot of it.

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