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Mothering › Groups › August 2013 Due Date Club › Discussions › Anyone else starting to get a little nervous...okay, panicked?!?

Anyone else starting to get a little nervous...okay, panicked?!?

post #1 of 29
Thread Starter 

So, I had a moment today when I realized that  i have just about 3 months before this baby arrives. Then right after that I started to panic a bit, not really because there is much to do but just with the serious realization that I am going to have two kids!!!  I don't even know if I can put down all the thoughts I am having. Its everything from the practical, like how do i put two kids to bed or bathe two kids, to how to make sure my oldest still feels loved and cherished and then everything in between.   I think i remember feeling this way with DS too and of course and it has all worked out, but still.  Anyone else?

post #2 of 29

Yes and I'm having twins so extra freak out! But really I'm just still so concerned about pre-term labor and NICU and all that I just want to get us all alive and home. Then I'll worry about how nothing will get done around the house the next 5 yrs. :) It is freaky that it's this close, yet still feels so far away. I'm putting the last of my freezer cooking in the freezer today, have to finish some continuing ed for work and crochet my afghans. that doesn't seem like that long of a list. I think I'm more excited than anything, though because 2 years ago we wanted to TTC but had fertility problems and 3  miscarriages so the idea of having my own warm, live babies in my arms is really overwhelmingly emotional in a good way.

post #3 of 29

Ha, you know what, it'll work out.  But it's still good to think about it ahead of time.  For example, if you won't have help at bedtime, now is the time to help your older child learn to fall asleep on their own so that you won't have to sit in there with a baby the whole time.  As for doing stuff together - you'll likely want to bathe them together (you can get a mesh sling to bathe the baby in the tub with your older child).  Once baby comes, you'll want to set aside a little bit of baby's nap time every day to give your older child some special one on one time.  And you'll have to find your own balance, but for me, I always remember that baby can wait easier than the older child.  Sometimes the one will have to wait and sometimes the other.  It's helpful for your older child to see that the baby is sad, but it's not baby's turn (you'll want to verbalize that) and then on the flip side, the older child will also sometimes have to wait.

 

Anyway, don't stress it too much!  It will all work out and in the end you're giving your older child the wonderful gift of a sibling.  Mom and Dad won't always be around, but siblings are family members for most of your life. :)

post #4 of 29
I'm right there with you, sister. I've got my growing mental list if things still to do (find a freezer, start freezer cooking, get birthing supplies for our homebirth, etc.) It can get really overwhelming for me to think about how life will change (in both positive, and challenging ways). I had PPD after DS was born, and so coincidentally, I'm also anxious about that. I am taking the opportunity to work through these fears, but man, can it be hard!
post #5 of 29
I'm right there with you, sister. I've got my growing mental list if things still to do (find a freezer, start freezer cooking, get birthing supplies for our homebirth, etc.) It can get really overwhelming for me to think about how life will change (in both positive, and challenging ways). I had PPD after DS was born, and so coincidentally, I'm also anxious about that. I am taking the opportunity to work through these fears, but man, can it be hard!
post #6 of 29

Yeah.  My midwife said last night, "So, about 15 weeks to go!"  She noticed the look on my face.  lol.gif  So she prodded me and I told her it wasn't even really the baby so much as all the projects around the house I wanted to get done beforehand.  DH wasn't there yet, so we had a little chat about roundabout ways to get husbands to help tackle our to-do lists.  winky.gif

post #7 of 29

Yup, feeling the time crunch here too.  We have a long list of things to finish and DH was very stressed out = unproductive during his mom's visit so we lost about 6 weeks worth of stuff getting done.
 

post #8 of 29

Completely. I have had such an easy pregnancy (after 2 horrible ones) that half the time I forget I am pregnant. This baby was a surprise, so I spent the first trimester pretending it wasn't happening. ;) Last weekend I went to pick up some cheap newborn clothes a local lady was selling- and then had this "oh crap" moment where I realized that in 13 weeks there will be a tiny baby here who fits into the clothes. Yikes!! 

post #9 of 29
I also forget and then for a moment wonder why my tummy is moving.

One to two is hard to think about. I found it far easier than I thought. It helped that Bee was easy and they both fell in love. Baths were the three of us, or him as usual and me and baby in the shower. Bed someone waited, someone's passes out somewhere, we are terrible at bedtime, but make it work. Monkey is passed out beside me in my bed now. Love, just comes. You take the little moments, and realize that is the most important. Monkey really liked being he big kid. Very little selling it on my part, to push the little grocery cart, potty, teach baby how to use the play gym, sing to distract her. Bee got told to wait, it was his turn, and vice versa.

I am not worried about baby, but how to get everything kept together with the other two, the house, etc.
post #10 of 29

stillheart.gif hearing from all you wise mamas on your third or fourth child....you make the jump to two sound manageable...and fun. Thanks for sharing!

post #11 of 29

Man, you're way ahead of me. I'm still panicking about preparing the gear and getting ready for the birth. I haven't give much thought to what life will be like once #3 actually rocks up. My mind is whirling with "to do" lists and freezer foods and spreadsheets and budgets and citizenship paperwork (our kids are dual citizens) and and big girl beds (for DD, who needed to get bumped out of the crib/toddler bed) and birthday parties (DH, DS, DD, and I all have birthdays a week apart in July). Although we did have a brutal reality check when we bumped our kids up to the next car/booster seat and realised getting the three kids in the back of our sedan is going to require Olympic-level training and dedication. I hope this kid is born with a fierce self-sufficiency streak...

post #12 of 29
Yeah, I realized a few days ago that I had 3 months till EDD. That feels SO CLOSE, I guess largely because the last 3 have gone by pretty quickly. This is when I start thinking about what actually needs to get done and purchased, etc. yikes2.gif

I was just talking with my counselor today about how to get the bigger little ones to go to sleep more easily (i.e., without my constant attention) because I can't imagine having to handle THREE in bed at once (and may well be doing it on my own). I definitely need to work on those transitions sooner than later. Sigh. Too bad I'm so exhausted most nights that I just don't care! dizzy.gif

Car seats and rearranging are a big issue for us with moving to 5. I have my eye on the Cybex Aton 2 for baby but it's also really expensive, so I don't know if I'll be able to make that happen. I don't think we'll need any others, but will be moving the 11yo to an adult belt, 8yo to booster (he's actually nearly outgrown the Britax Regent by weight and height), and moving the 5yo's Britax Frontier to another spot.

Then I'd like to trade the Maclaren Techno XLR for a City Mini, but if I can't, I did at least find the car seat bar for the Maclaren, so I can use it with a car seat if I need to. Still researching that but, hey, maybe I can sell the one at a price that will buy the other (since the Mac started off much more than the MIni).

And then diapers. I need to find my newborn stash, or what's left of it, and see what we need.

I need to find clothes and prep them, too, and hope I have enough left as I was selling stuff before baby came along. eyesroll.gif

And somehow I need to deal with the crippling exhaustion and a zillion other critically important things in life, all with virtually no help or support. Yep, 3 months sounds like a VERY short time. redface.gif
post #13 of 29
I'm here too, mamas. I am leaving my job at the end of June and because I am the Executive Director of a mostly volunteer-run organization, it is a major transition and getting everything wrapped up with work is exhausting on its own. So I have pinned all my hopes for accomplishing my massive home to-do list on July when I won't be "working," but still will be taking care of our son at 9 months pregnant! Plus, all the concerns you voiced Jillgayle about going from one to two are ever-present. How will this work? Most times I just say- okay it will and you can't plan it, so just roll with it when the time comes.

I told DH yesterday that I needed to get serious about freezer cooking and he looked at me and said "why?" And I said "you do realize we have a baby coming, right?" And he said "but I like to cook." Hilarious! I said: "Well that's lovely, but why have we mostly been getting takeout for the last 6 months when I can't rally the energy for food prep and grocery shopping?" Seriously?! NOW he's going to cook? Whatever! Freezer foods plan still very much a priority!

My diaper stash may be the only thing in pretty good shape. I just need to rearrange so my newborn stuff is out and accessible. It's gonna be a crazy July, but if I possibly can,I want to get some stuff knocked out before then.
post #14 of 29
I still have to move to Califonia a month after the baby is born. Sigh.
post #15 of 29
Quote:
Originally Posted by Banana731 View Post

I still have to move to Califonia a month after the baby is born. Sigh.

Oy.  I think you are winning at the "holy s#$t" game we're playing here...

post #16 of 29
Thread Starter 

Ahh!  I just knew I wasn't alone in this.  Anxiety loves company :)

 

Thanks for the tips on bathtime and bedtime.  I hope I can remember them when the time comes. 

 

While i think DS will do great as an big brother, he seems really into it sometimes and has grand plans for what they will do together, i worry about the reality. How's he going to handle it when baby is crying, or mama is breastfeeding or just simply, my attention is going towards something else.  He really has been the center of our world, and mine especially when I am home.  Don't get me wrong, he plays well on his own, but when I'm around I try to make our time really special with activities and such.   I already work full time and my heart breaks when DS asks if i have to go to work.  Now my time will be divided again.  I am hoping to only return to my full time job part time and then pick up more consulting work which will allow me more flexibility in the coming years, but that will mean later nights on the computer. Its the balancing game that i struggle with. 

post #17 of 29
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jillgayle View Post

Ahh!  I just knew I wasn't alone in this.  Anxiety loves company smile.gif

Thanks for the tips on bathtime and bedtime.  I hope I can remember them when the time comes. 

While i think DS will do great as an big brother, he seems really into it sometimes and has grand plans for what they will do together, i worry about the reality. How's he going to handle it when baby is crying, or mama is breastfeeding or just simply, my attention is going towards something else.  He really has been the center of our world, and mine especially when I am home.  Don't get me wrong, he plays well on his own, but when I'm around I try to make our time really special with activities and such.   I already work full time and my heart breaks when DS asks if i have to go to work.  Now my time will be divided again.  I am hoping to only return to my full time job part time and then pick up more consulting work which will allow me more flexibility in the coming years, but that will mean later nights on the computer. Its the balancing game that i struggle with. 

Jillgayle, you've articulated my own fears and struggles perfectly. One thing that WILL help (at least for DS) is that I am quitting my full-time away-from-home job so there will be more of me as full-time mom. But on the flip side, I'm nervous, perhaps selfishly so about losing the part of me that gets so much satisfaction from my career. I am telling myself that being a mom is a job I already love, which is true, but will I go crazy doing it all the time? Maybe I am destined to be the bossiest lady in the PTA! Ha! After resigning, I received several offers for both full and part-time work from my contacts, which has been so flattering, but apparently I am not doing a very good job convincing anyone that I don't want another job! I do remember well the heartbreak I felt when I returned to work when DS was so young (and he still is!), so I need to keep that in mind.

I think no matter how and when you work, parenting is hard and finding the right balance of your time is always a struggle.
post #18 of 29

Jill,

We talked a lot about what babies did and tried to keep expectations low for the beginning.

What really surprised me (though looking back I don't know why) was how much we did all together. Not the big "quality time" stuff, but the every day stuff that is so much more important. Just having them facing each other in the stroller as we walked somewhere was so much richer for the way they interacted.

The other thing I forgot was how much newborns sleep. There is still lots of one one one time with the older child, while the younger one sleeps.

post #19 of 29

What I am worried about is still managing two year old Bee. Baby, even if she is a fuss-a-ma-guss-igin is small and can not get into much trouble. Unlike Bee. Monkey has been pretty good, really likes babies and is finally getting rational.

 

Also, is it really going to work with us walking everywhere?

post #20 of 29
I'm worried about soon to be big sis too. I feel like the baby I can handle, BTDT. The 2 year old, though, is venturing into uncharted territory. I had really hoped to get her out of diapers by the time baby comes. She tells me when she needs to poop and will happily do her business in the potty. Our issue is that she drinks a LOT and has trouble staying dry between potty visits. She also very rarely initiates to pee in the potty. I think I just need to ditch the diapers, introduce undies and take the plunge. I'm just so very tired/sore/big though that the thought is daunting. Then again, so is the idea of 2 in diapers!
Then there's sleep. How on earth will I manage 2 at night?! Ugh. I'm trying very hard to simply let go and figure things out on the fly. At times that idea makes me pretty anxious though.
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