My daughter who is 18 moved in with myself and my fiance about a year and a half ago because her father lost his house and he moved in with his parents and left my daughter to fend for herself.
When she moved in she came with 3 lizards which I did not mind. She then snuck in 2 Prairie Dogs ( NEVER EVER let your child have a prairie dogs for a pet. NASTY!!! ) I harped on her to return them and that did not happen. She then snuck in a Ferret. After several shouting matches she reluctantly gave up the prairie dogs. The loft area was pretty big so she felt the need to pack as many lizards, clothes, shoes and trash that she could into that area of the apartment. My daughter was provided a dresser and a walk in closet that was huge for all her clothes. My fiance would wash and fold her clothes and lay them on the corner of her bed so she could hang them up. Well that did not happen. The clothes ended up on the floor dirty AGAIN.
We moved into a condo that was alot nicer than the apartment. We made it perfectly clear to her that she was to keep her room clean and trash off of the floor and no dirty dishes lying around. New home, new start right? Wrong!
It finally came to a head on Sunday. My fiance has been terrific up until Sunday. He stated enough is enough she is 18 and she needs to clean up after herself. He asked her politely that she was going to be out of school soon and that she really needs to be picking up after herself. She got upset and stated all we do is nit pick her and that she goes to school and she works and she doesnt have time to do what we are asking of her. Her schedule is 7:40 to 2:30 ( school ) 3:00 to 6:00 work. then her whole evening is free. She does have time to clean her lizard and the ferret cages so they dont stink. It would take her a total of 1 hour to clean and feed all of her animals and that would be considered a spotless clean.
My fiance does all of the cooking, most of the laundry and house cleaning. He feels as though my daughter is using him and he is getting tired of it. It has come to the point that our relationship is in jeopardy and I am at my wits end. I do not know what to do. Taking away her phone and car plus grounding her has not worked. I dont want to loose either one of them. I am lways put in the middle. It s a power struggle between the fiance and daughter. My daughter has told me several times that he is not her dad and she doesnt have to listen to him but she doesnt listen to me either. HELP!!!!!