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I can't stop crying!

post #1 of 4
Thread Starter 

I'm trying to change my birth plan from a natural birth to my now planned C-section and I can't get through it. I can't stop crying. I'm 36 weeks pregnant with twins. They have been breech the entire pregnancy. I've tried everything to get them to turn but it's just not happening.

I had such a wonderful birth with my first. Even when I found out it was twins it never even occurred to me that I would have to have surgery. There are no practitioners in my area willing to attempt a double breech vaginal delivery and I suppose it's for the best. I don't want to hurt them just so I don't have to have surgery but I still just can't believe it.

Not only am I disappointed about the actual birth but I'm terrified about recovery. How on earth am I going to take care of my dd and newborn twins (with little to no help- that's a whole other story) when I've just been split open and need to recover from surgery?

I think I just need to rant but I'd appreciate any advice/support. 

post #2 of 4

It's OK to cry!!!! It is perfectly OK to feel the way you are feeling! And it is perfectly normal to have the worries and concerns that you are having.

 

Let yourself have a good cry. For as long as you need to. And let others help you. Let them help you with the birth, and with postpartum, and with healing. And surround yourself with people who will let you cry over everything you are feeling right now. Nurture yourself - and don't hold back what you feel. You will be able to come around to a place where you will be able to be strong and able to take care of your babies.

 

Crying is part of the process. It's OK. It's OK to feel overwhelmed.

post #3 of 4

First, hug2.gifyou'll do fine.

 

If you don't already have one, get yourself a computer chair with wheels and a bassinet on wheels for each baby and you'll be unstoppable :) 

The worst of the pain is at around 12 hours post surgery and after that it starts to get better. By the time you get home from the hospital,  you'll feel fine as long as you're sitting (which is where the computer chair comes in). The worst part about the whole thing is literally your own fear. I was terrified of letting anything touch my incision for the first few days, then I discovered the area is actually totally numb because the nerves were cut (they grow back eventually though), I was afraid to do anything that required using my abdominal muscles because I had always heard "they cut your stomach muscles", I only found out 6 weeks later that they don't "cut your stomach muscles", they separate them so the pain is just from them being stretched. My biggest fear was that the incision would split open and my guts would fall out... Evidently that's impossible because the outer incision is nowhere near the internal incision. My internal one was vertical and actually to the right of my bellybutton. I only thought about sitting down in the shower after struggling for 3 days and after that I really didn't need to anymore. 

I had my c-section on Tuesday morning, by Saturday I was walking in the mall, although that wasn't a good idea and it hurt after, I could get up and do stuff. By 7 days I could walk fine as long as I didn't over do it and walked at my own pace. By 14 days I could walk at any pace, by 6 weeks I couldn't even tell I had a c-section. 

If you prepare yourself some freezer meals for the first few days, or as many as you can, you'll thank yourself later. 

post #4 of 4
I've read about women having successful double breech vaginal births: http://community.babycenter.com/post/a38376502/double_breech_vaginal_delivery
http://www.natural-motherhood.com/breech-twin-homebirth.html
http://www.hellobee.com/2013/03/11/to-deliver-breech-or-scheduled-c-section-that-is-the-question/
http://www.mothering.com/community/t/1166442/getting-breech-twins-to-turn-a-little-ranting

I recommend posting about this in the parenting multiples sub-forum, they will probably have lots of advice and encouragement for you. I just wanted to show you that it CAN be done successfully, that its not inherently dangerous and maybe you can find a doctor or midwife who will support you if you keep looking hug.gif
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