Barring any emergency, how old was your baby the first time you left them overnight?
Leaving Baby How
Poll Results: How old as your baby
0% (0)1-3 months
2% (1)3-6 months
5% (2)6-9 months
2% (1)9-12 months
10% (4)12-18 months
18% (7)18-24 months
59% (22)over 24 months old
i am a single mom. dd was very high needs. i have no family here. the first time was when ex started taking her overnight. she was 3. it took her a few nights to adjust before she was willing to spend the night with him.
i would have left her with trusted family earlier if there were any around. if dd was willing.
My 7 almost 8 year old hasn't spent the night w/ anyone other than dh or I (& it was only dh last fall when the two of them & dd went on a road trip for 5 days). He's been invited to sleep at dh's mom's, but I don't think he's in a real big hurry to go.
Before dd was born, dh kept saying we'd take a trip just the two of us when she was 2 or 3 months old. I was like, "okay." But after she was born, it changed to, "no way!" I had a hard enough time putting her down if she was or wasn't sleeping, let alone putting her down & walking out of & driving away from the building - no way!
Thanks. I am just trying to check myself.
I know someone with NICU twins who are 6 months old (3 months adjusted she always informs me) who let for Vegas for 5 days....including her FIRST Mother's Day.
I was thrown by this and was wondering if I was out of line thinking that it seems awfully young to be leaving for days at a time. I'm not trying to judge as it isn't my kid or my life but I was wondering if I am the strange one. I think DS was 3, DD was 2 and DS2 about 19 months and it has only been with DH except for one night (3 PM till noon the next day) with my Mom when they were 3 and 5.
wow 6 months for FIVE days. for a fun trip and not a forced business trip. wow. i am myself not trying to be judgemental.
i have friends who have left their 6 month old with grandma for the night. one night. nothing more.
what i see here where i live which is mostly mainstream - under one a one night is the norm. more common. not more than a night. at 2 perhaps the weekend. two nights. these are incredibly close extended families where one does not have issues over children with parents or inlaws.
however having said that dd had her first solo sleepover at 5 and her first vacation away from parents at 8 for 5 days. she had a ball. however who she went with i call family. we have known them since the kids were 6 months old (they are days apart) and they are more like siblings than friends. my friend is dd's second mom whom dd has chosen to live with if i die. she had her first ever week long vacation totally by herself when she went to camp in another city last year.
Both parents leaving 6-month-olds for 5 days does seem like a long time, but it sounds like they've been through a lot, having twins who needed NICU care. I don't begrudge them taking some time to focus on each other. Are the babies with a grandparent? The fact that it's over Mother's Day doesn't bug me at all -- the babies have no idea.
Yesterday we asked my parents to mind her for a couple of hours. When I told her she was going to their place she said "I'll have to pack a bag. I need pyjamas. I'm going to sleep over." We didn't know if she'd stay or not but she did. We dropped her off at 3:30pm and they brought her to church for 9:30am. She's a week away from her 3rd b'day.
I've never left DD2 for longer than 1.5hrs. She's 6 months old. I left her with my mum because she was asleep and I had to go out and didn't want to wake her.
Mine was 3 months when I started leaving her with my parents from Sunday night through Tuesday night every week while I went to work those days. I had to help pay for our huge mortgage and car payment and the dad wouldn't agree to let the house go into foreclosure until DD was 18 months and then I quit working and stayed home with her. I pumped out so much milk for her those 2 days each week and always had too much milk and not enough storage. I had to go through lots of plugged ducts and my DD would always have to suck out the plugs every Tuesday night. I hated leaving her, hated working and hated pumping. I was so happy to finally stay home with her and quit working.
awww mama. i so feel your pain. i so hear you. it was the same with me. but daytime. i guess you worked night shift right? at 3 months i had to leave dd home with her dad. she HATED it. the first week whenever i called i heard her screaming in the background. it was soo hard. i cried my whole first week. but i had to work. the next week for my peace of mind i stopped calling to check in on her. i was so happy i was laid off at 9 months. i llived off of savings and unemployment till i went back to work when dd was 2. same thing. she cried so hard. she hated being away from me.
those days are still the most painful for me. lack of sleep and tiredness was nothing compared to leaving your child behind. esp. since i had friends who could stay home, but chose to go to work. how i would have loved to stay home.