or Connect
Mothering › Groups › November 2013 Due Date Club › Discussions › worries cropping up again

worries cropping up again

post #1 of 24
Thread Starter 

Almost two weeks ago we got to hear the baby's heartbeat. That was so wonderful and reassuring! Now the worries have started to creep back. Even though I haven't had any spotting or much cramping even, I'm worried. I had my first appointment with my midwife and am following up with my first appointment with an OB doc on the 24th--I couldn't get in sooner.

 

I'll be 13 weeks this Thursday and the plan was to tell family this weekend (aunts and uncles--parents and siblings already know)and then tell my work on Monday. Now I am wondering--should I wait until after my ob appointment to tell work? It's only another week and it might be safer. I'd then be 14 weeks.

 

We've already told close family members because we figured we'd tell them even if something went wrong. But my work--I would HATE to tell them and then have something go wrong.

 

Also, really frustrated that these random worries are coming out of nowhere. I thought I had that under control ...

post #2 of 24
We haven't told family yet. My doula knows and some really close friends that are praying for me. My first midwife appointment isn't until the 23rd. I'm 13 wks today so will be over 14 wks when I go. I'm waiting to hear the heartbeat on the 23rd before we make an announcement. I've had 3 miscarriages though and one I lost at 13 wks.
post #3 of 24

I've had some random worries pop up, too, over the last week or so.  I'm 13+3 right now.  We heard the heartbeat for a couple of seconds on the 25th of April (until I laughed and messed things up), and our next appointment is tomorrow.  I also haven't had any cramping or bleeing, but I understand about still worrying anyway.  Several days ago I was convinced that I just didn't feel pregnant anymore.  Not that I really know what I'm supposed to feel since this is my first rodeo, but...  Still irrationally bracing myself for bad news tomorrow for whatever reason.

 

Hugs for you, 100%mom.  I hope things turn out okay and your fears are eased soon.

post #4 of 24

Totally understand!! We all get those worries. I think its a really personal decision. I have felt really private about this pregnancy and just not wanted to tell anyone. I haven't even told my brothers yet (I told my sister and parents but asked them not to mention it). We had a miscarriage before and the the untelling is just so hard. Even though the chance of miscarriage after the first trimester is low, to me I just don't want to risk it. I'm 16 weeks now and still havent mentioned it at work (even though I think my boss suspects). We are having a scan at around 20 weeks, and I think I will likely announce at work after that. I know its silly but the thing that makes me nervous is that I have known people to hear the heartbeat on doppler and then find out the baby wasn't growing properly. I personally want to wait until I can see at the ultrasound that baby is growing on target. This is all just my personal feelings. I know many people who are shouting it from the rooftops the day they get a positive HPT, and thats just fine too! Follow your heart and do what your comfortable with smile.gif

post #5 of 24
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by 100%mom View Post

We haven't told family yet. My doula knows and some really close friends that are praying for me. My first midwife appointment isn't until the 23rd. I'm 13 wks today so will be over 14 wks when I go. I'm waiting to hear the heartbeat on the 23rd before we make an announcement. I've had 3 miscarriages though and one I lost at 13 wks.

Prayers for you too, 100% mom! My first appointment with a real OB doc is the day after yours--although we did have an appointment with our midwife a week and a half ago and heard the heartbeat.

post #6 of 24
Thread Starter 

Ultra figher:

 

"Several days ago I was convinced that I just didn't feel pregnant anymore. Not that I really know what I'm supposed to feel since this is my first rodeo, but..."

 

I have felt that EXACT same way. Hugs. What was the news?

 

Thanks, superbeans, that's good advice. So far I feel like the people we have told (parents, siblings and a few close friends) are people that we'd want to tell even if we miscarried. So I'm comfortable with that.

 

But today we're basically telling my husband's full family. My husband's grandma has terminal cancer and we found out last night she has only a few days to live. So we feel like we want/need to tell her right away and if we tell her, we'll tell the whole family, who will be gathered there at the hospital today. We'll see how it goes (I don't want to make this all about us but maybe it will be a lighter moment in such a sad time for the family.) I'm letting my husband guide on this one, because it's his family, and I believe spouses should make decisions for their side of the family--me for mine, he for his. We consult each other of course, but ultimately, he knows his family best and I know mine.

 

I am deciding to wait to tell work until after my appointment May 24--I'll be 14 weeks then. I'm glad to hear that your boss suspects but doesn't ask. I think that is the way it should be. Let the mother decide when to tell--she has her reasons. But I don't think everyone is like that!!

post #7 of 24
Quote:

But today we're basically telling my husband's full family. My husband's grandma has terminal cancer and we found out last night she has only a few days to live. So we feel like we want/need to tell her right away and if we tell her, we'll tell the whole family, who will be gathered there at the hospital today. We'll see how it goes (I don't want to make this all about us but maybe it will be a lighter moment in such a sad time for the family.) I'm letting my husband guide on this one, because it's his family, and I believe spouses should make decisions for their side of the family--me for mine, he for his. We consult each other of course, but ultimately, he knows his family best and I know mine.

Me too! He has told many members of his family (parents, siblings, aunt/uncle and cousins). He's also told some of his friends, where I have only told one friend. I figure he can tell who he is comfortable with, and I will tell who I am comfortable with. Makes sense to me too. 

post #8 of 24

babywaiter, I hope it brings a ray of sunshine into the situation.  hug2.gif

 

 

 

My appointment is in a few hours.  Even with the stomach bug I'm currently fighting, my worries have lessened.  Like my 1st tri nausea, it ebbs and flows.  My hope is for an easier-to-find beautiful heartbeat today.

post #9 of 24
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by superbeans View Post

Me too! He has told many members of his family (parents, siblings, aunt/uncle and cousins). He's also told some of his friends, where I have only told one friend. I figure he can tell who he is comfortable with, and I will tell who I am comfortable with. Makes sense to me too. 

 

That's something my mom mentioned to me, fortunately, at the beginning of our marriage. It has served us well!! Glad to hear there are others that do the same.

post #10 of 24
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by ultrafighter View Post

babywaiter, I hope it brings a ray of sunshine into the situation.  hug2.gif

 

 

 

My appointment is in a few hours.  Even with the stomach bug I'm currently fighting, my worries have lessened.  Like my 1st tri nausea, it ebbs and flows.  My hope is for an easier-to-find beautiful heartbeat today.

 

Thanks, it did. She woke up for a few minutes and was alert enough to understand what we told her. She was semi-conscious the rest of the day.

 

Prayers and hugs for your appointment. I know what you mean, my worries ebb and flow too. I'm calmer now than when I first posted this. :-)

post #11 of 24

Yay!  My due date is the day before my granny died, and I've got mixed emotions about that.  Very mixed.  ack  Here come tears! lol

 

Yesterday's appointment went well.  The hb was much easier to find, and we heard it for most of a minute.  My blood needs some work (iron, mostly), but there's still time to fix all that.  I'm feeling much much better today emotionally.  Our next appointment will include our (hopefully) one ultrasound, and I expect that to put me over the moon.  luxlove.gif  Here's to another good day for all of us.

post #12 of 24
Thanks everyone.

Ultrafighter, that's awesome the heartbeat was so easy to hear.

Babywaiter, I'm glad you got to tell your husband's grandma.
post #13 of 24
Thread Starter 

Ultrafighter, so glad to hear that! Yay!

 

100% mom, thanks, I wasn't sure how it would go and it went really well. 

post #14 of 24
Quote:
Originally Posted by babywaiter View Post

Ultra figher:

"Several days ago I was convinced that I just didn't feel pregnant anymore. Not that I really know what I'm supposed to feel since this is my first rodeo, but..."

I have felt that EXACT same way. Hugs. What was the news?

Thanks, superbeans, that's good advice. So far I feel like the people we have told (parents, siblings and a few close friends) are people that we'd want to tell even if we miscarried. So I'm comfortable with that.

But today we're basically telling my husband's full family. My husband's grandma has terminal cancer and we found out last night she has only a few days to live. So we feel like we want/need to tell her right away and if we tell her, we'll tell the whole family, who will be gathered there at the hospital today. We'll see how it goes (I don't want to make this all about us but maybe it will be a lighter moment in such a sad time for the family.) I'm letting my husband guide on this one, because it's his family, and I believe spouses should make decisions for their side of the family--me for mine, he for his. We consult each other of course, but ultimately, he knows his family best and I know mine.

I am deciding to wait to tell work until after my appointment May 24--I'll be 14 weeks then. I'm glad to hear that your boss suspects but doesn't ask. I think that is the way it should be. Let the mother decide when to tell--she has her reasons. But I don't think everyone is like that!!

Oh, goodness, what a bittersweet moment for your family.

And I worry a lot of the time. And when I am pregnant my anxiety gets ridiculous. So I totally feel for you all. Empathize big time.
post #15 of 24
Thread Starter 

Bittersweet for sure, Starfish11. Right now my worries are a little out of control--and they get a little worse the more people we tell. And yet, I'm really enjoying telling people too--it's nice not to have to hide it anymore. I'm acting strange, needing lots to eat, eating out of my norm, needing lots of rest, and now I can just say why. My doc appointment is in five days--that should help a lot. 

post #16 of 24

Ultrafighter and Babywaiter, I sympathize with the bittersweetness of all this. My due date is right around the 1 year anniversary of my father-in-law's passing, and he loved babies so much...we are so sad that he won't actually be here to hold his grandbaby. :-( And my dh and mil are still in the grieving process...one moment it is all excitement and expectant joy, and the next it is tears and missing fil. 

 

Hoping that the sweetness and joy will outweigh the stress and sad events, overall, for all of us, and that these babies turn out healthy and happy and our fears turn out to be unwarranted.

*hugs* 

post #17 of 24

grouphug.gif

post #18 of 24
So I was supposed to have my first prenatal appointment yesterday but the midwife had 2 moms in labor. So since my doula has a Doppler she tried to listen for it, but we couldn't find it. I brought the Doppler home and tried again and still couldn't hear it. My dates could be a week off, but that would still put me at over 13 wks. greensad.gif I'm trying not to freak out. My rescheduled appointment with the midwife isn't until next Thursday.
post #19 of 24

100%mom, does your midwife know that you're upset about that?  It takes just a couple of minutes to listen for heart tones.  Technically most midwives aren't supposed to provide any care without doing an initial intake first, but if you are a returning client I don't see why she'd need to do a full screening.  Her doppler is probably better than the one your doula has (unless your doula purchased a really nice one for some reason...I'm assuming she has one of the Sonoline ones, which are fine for cheap extra/recreational gear but are not as sensitive as the ones most professionals use) and is more likely to get heart tones if baby is in a difficult spot.

post #20 of 24
My midwife is an hour away so I'll just wait. I did tell her yesterday that I really was hoping to hear the heartbeat so we could let our other kids and family know.
  Return Home
  Back to Forum: November 2013 Due Date Club
Mothering › Groups › November 2013 Due Date Club › Discussions › worries cropping up again