Today as I struggled to get my 5 year old ready for school she kicked me in my knee causing it to dislocate and sending me to the floor. I am fine, my knee popped right back in, but she did the same thing yesterday and I just lost it. While I only screamed at her I couldn't shake the terrible feeling that my life has spiralled out of control and that I am a ticking time bomb. Driving the carpool this morning was awful. I told the girls that they couldn't talk (normally they bicker with eachother the whole way there) as I struggled to keep myself together all the while worrying what the other mom was going to think about me when she heard how mean I was. I cried all the way home.
So now I am struggling to figure out what to do. There is only a week left of school and after that the carpool is over. I cant sleep very well and I am constantly starving but with money so tight I feel guilty gorging myself. Plus I don't have the energy to cook anything so the food I want is convenience foods anyway. I just feel so overwhelmed and fearful.
Is anyone else struggling with these feelings? Has anyone struggled in the past and then conquered them?