Are there any single (in whatever form that takes - work causing lengthy trips, military, divorce, imprisoned, or separation of any kind) mamas here?
As I am newly without my DH - reaching out to anyone in similar situation.
I think the most challenging part for me, to wrap my mind around, is AFTER this baby arrives. How to make ends meet. ?? My first children, I had the whole middle/upper middle class white picket fence, (now ex)DH working and supporting us, life.
This time --- my DH won't be returning until early November. About a month before baby is due. Then he'll need to secure employment, etc... if even we remain together upon his return.
Also- I don't have family living in the same state with me. Which makes rent and other normal life type bills, fall squarely on my shoulders alone. Never been much for daycare (esp at 6 weeks!) (no offense or judgment for those that do)....nor with my typical salary would I be able to afford it anyway. So I have now embarked upon an interesting (and terrifying) journey.
When it all began, I DID consider the unthinkable (for me, it always has been a NON option). Finally, after much prayer, heart-searching, and conversation with trusted others, I decided to carry on. I cannot let MONEY, when everything else in me wants this baby, be the one and only deciding factor. My faith comes into play quite a bit here - to even get pg at 41, so fast and out of the blue - I have to trust in that. That everything WILL come together.... December is close, sure, but also so far away- so many things can happen between now and then.
NEVER imagined to be on my own in this situation. Never WANTED TO BE. But, alas - here I am. So trying to stay extremely positive, and do the best I can. Hearing the babe's heartbeat yesterday - alone - was my first real *moment* in this experience I didn't share with my husband. The heavy heart that accompanies moments such as that... "I wish he was here for this...." is something big to contend with as well.....
New Baby, 12/9/13