I'm 14w1d with baby #1 and am very curious about what others have done in my situation. I am very fortunate to be under the care of a small midwife practice and planning to give birth at their stand-alone birth center (would love a home birth save the fact that my house is just not conducive to one). The practice and the birth center have been around for over 15years and they have a very good relationship with the nearby (3 miles away, maybe) hospital. DH isn't altogether in board with birthing outside the hospital yet. The other night I gave him a very graphic description of 'what they do to you in hospitals' that was pretty much all worst case scenarios, and he finally began to get it- he knows how terrified I am of doctors and yet he's still wishing we had a doctor to deliver the baby. I have given him reading material and told him I won't listen to any more pro-MD arguments until he has read at least one of the books (Henci Goer!).
But he's still on this 'planning for the worst' tear. He thinks we should tour the backup hospital. I don't want to. If we wind up transferring, there is no amount of knowing where the coffee machine is or how to get to the L&D floor after hours that's going to make it ok. If we transfer, I will have my midwife with me to stand between me and hospital policy as best she can, but there is no scenario that will make even entertaining the thought of a transfer unless/until I am in the moment and it's a legitimate emergency ok with me.
He still wants to take the blasted tour. For me, seeing the inside of the hospital will somehow make it a possibility, and will introduce a more concrete fear into this whole process. Yuck.
Did any of you non-hospital mamas tour your backup hospital? Did you tell them they were the backup to an OOH birth? Did you ask questions, or did you just clam up and take notes on what they said was routine? What was it like?
I would love to hear your stories, good or bad.