My partner's Dad and Stepmother are causing us grief concerning our 4 year old, and have been this way since she was born. Before she was born they grudgingly visited us once a year. But from her birth onwards they started visiting every two or three weeks. The problem with this is that they usually ignore me and my partner and play with her as if we're not there.
We have always tried to keep a distance from them due to this behaviour, but also due to my partner's negative childhood experiences with them. But more recently we've given in to letting them take her for days out. They spend a fortune on her, completely spoil her and take her to toy shops to choose whatever she wants, which is ridiculous! We have very little money so can't compete, but also want her to grow up having sense about money. And to top it off, they then brag to my partner's Mum about what they did with our daughter and how much they spoilt her, posting photos on Facebook and making a big deal.
The most recent issue was inviting her to go on a weekend holiday with them without first consulting us. Of course she got excited so we had to break it to her that she can't go. We really need to make stricter boundaries as we are sick of the way they are around both us and our daughter, constantly pushing for more access to her, and trying to win us over by spending money on us too. They couldn't care less about us, and only use us to get more access to my daughter. The problem is, my partner has a hard time saying no, and I usually end up having to say something, but neither of us have the guts to tell them what we really think.
I've seen a book recommended in the past here, does anyone happen to know what it's called? And any other advice would be greatly received. We are at the point where we've really had enough.