I had a very healthy and uneventful pregnancy with my 1st son. We had a water birth center we picket out for the birth and my 2 midwives were amazing throughout the pregnancy. I went into labor on Monday morning and went to the birth center by Tuesday morning since my contractions were consistently 3 minutes apart and very intense due to my boy being posterior (back labor). The pool and counter pressure felt amazing. Long story short, on Wednesday I went through transition, but swelled back to a 6 (was at a 9!) I was exhausted. Baby's heart rate was dropping, we tried birth stool, birth ball, she tried to flip him, NOTHING eased my pain or got labor to progress again-it was like the contractions stopped working, they just hurt. Everyone agreed I should be transferred to the hospital--this just felt "wrong" and I was giving up. In the ride over to the hospital I went through transition again, it was overwhelming. At the hospital I was checked and they said 7....I lost my mind and started bawling--only at a 7?! I couldn't do it anymore, got the epidural at midnight and after they checked me at 3 am, they said I was ready to push. The epidural was turned off right away (due to baby's position I needed to squat during pushing or get c-section per on call OB) and by 4am I go the feeling back in my legs to squat...fast forward to 9:05am when he was actually born. 4 days of labor, 5 hours of pushing and my little man was born BOTH hands by his face and never flipped to the correct position. My tail bone was broken, I tore, and the whole experience just gives me anxiety and fear beyond words of going through this again. I keep telling myself that I got a healthy baby boy, and my birth wasnt ideal but it doesnt matter anymore, but I cant shake this feeling still, and my son is now 4.
I called my insurance and even asked about an elective c-section this week. Four years ago when I was pregnant with my 1st this option wasnt even an option in my mind, not even at the hospital on day 3 of posterior labor--I was so dead set on pushing him out naturally. This time around, it sounds like bliss :-(
Does ANYONE else have fear or a similar painful birth? How did you deal? I just feel that 4 years later, ideally I should be over it, right?