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Mothering › Groups › October 2013 Due Date Club › Discussions › Thoughts, Feelings, nervousness?

Thoughts, Feelings, nervousness?

post #1 of 5
Thread Starter 

So even though I have birthed 3 babies I feel like this time I am starting all over again. I find myself scared. I always said if I had another baby I would have a UC. My last birth went so well and was so easy. 

 

Now I watch homebirth videos and I find myself bawling , thinking how am I going to do this? thoughts flood my mind of my partner not being home when it happens. (He's military so there is always that possibility.) I know I trust my body deep down to know what to do. Though I am so scared , I have this incredible fear that I just can't do it. What was I thinking, maybe I shouldn't have kept this pregnancy. What if I fail. What if something happens. 

 

I used to be so confident. I used to be so involved in births and pregnancy. I know what is normal and not. I feel so out of the loop. Even though I have read every natural birth book, watch hundreds of videos. 

 

I am so emotional this pregnancy. This is my partners first child. So I also have a lot of apprehensions how he will deal with seeing me in labor. How will he react? We have talked about so much and he said he will be nervous but he will be there supporting me through it all. He has always been super supportive. 

 

Help me ladies, Help me rebuild my confidence again. I need your support. 

post #2 of 5

I know what you mean about confidence. Last time I was all ready for a drug-free birth, did the Bradley thing and all, and then had a very stubborn breech requiring a c-section. Recovery was tough. Now I'm ready to try for a VBAC, but I'm scared something will go wrong mid-way through even though everything looks good.

Have to keep telling ourselves we are strong and our bodies know what to do. Sometimes it's tought.

post #3 of 5

tough, not tought.  ;) typing with a 2 year old on my arm.

post #4 of 5
Thread Starter 

My last pregnancy I listened to the hynobabies cds . I didn't end up using it in labor because my labor was so fast. There was no time to think "Oh, put the birth cd in" , though I think listening to the affirmations each night helped me trust more in my body. 

 

Though coming from a severely abusive relationship has some pull on this I think....

post #5 of 5

I know what you mean. Somehow, when I was pregnant with DS I felt strong and confident and I was not scared. I knew I could do it and even though my sister had had two difficult births ending in CS I totally thought I would be like my mom instead and have an easy breezy labor/births.  DS was large (for me) at 9 lbs 12oz and asynclytic.  I had 20+ hours of back labor, tore really badly, developed a prolapse, and it took me at more than a month before I could walk normally again. Anyway, the moral is that this time I'm terrified. 

 

I figure at least we are still only at the half way point, we can admit that we are scared, and we have time to do everything we can to work through that fear.

 

I'm not sure I have anything helpful to say to boost your confidence peacelove other than the fact that I'm in the same boat and rooting for all of us

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