If your child was still co-sleeping at age 7... how much longer? - Page 2
One of the adults (either me or my dh) sleeps upstairs in the kids' shared bedroom. They are 7 and 9. Everyone has separate beds, and sleeps separately unless there is a nightmare which is rare. It's the size of an entire floor so each person has their own area.
My 9 year old would have been fine, I think, sleeping alone in a room when she was 7. She hasn't asked for her own room.
My 7 year old has a really hard time with the idea of sleeping by herself.
I stay upstairs as they fall asleep, then go down to my husband and my bedroom to hang out, then one of us return to sleep w/the kids -- usually me.
I don't particularly tell people -- I would never bring it up with a doctor -- I don't see it as a medical issue.
I like it -- I think if the kids want that kind of closeness, I will provide it. I enjoy it too. Sometimes I wish I had my own space, but really, the tradeoff is great. I don't see them much in the day because of school, it's a nice time to reconnect.
So much of these things are determined by the layout of the house. We don't have a lot of bedrooms. Also, my dh snores so we can't sleep together.
Well... my 7.5 year old is STILL sleeping with us! Ha. And I'm due in April. She tells me that when the baby comes, she will scoot her bed a few feet away. She will be 8 yo then. We will see! But something will need to change, for logistical reasons. I have heard that many kids do respond to the needs of a new sibling once they come along.
Every kid is different. I only have one child left who is "co-sleeping" and he is 13. The other 3 are younger and occasionally pop in to "the big bed" to sleep but he consistently sleeps in my room and has his own bed on the floor. Very rarely does he actually join us in the bed though.
He doesn't like that he still sleeps here. He would rather be "normal" and sleep in his own room alone but it is scary for him. We made a big deal for a while working toward a plan to get him comfortable in his own room. But it ended up just being added stress for everyone and we stopped bothering. He'll get it when he gets it, I guess!
It does make adult relations harder. A 3 year old on the floor is one thing, a 13 year old feels very different! Nighttime sex is mostly a thing of the past around here, because he needs someone with him while he is sleeping.
My little girl just turned 6 in September and is still co-sleeping...she is just now able to go into the bedroom and go to sleep by herself without needing me there...I have a Queen bed and we share that but I do have a toddler bed in storage if I need it...LOL Unless something happened to it over there and it isn't any good which is probably the case...LOL..I am hoping to get a 2 bedroom this spring or summer if my name comes up for one...they are rare where we live and the rent is the same...I think when we do L will be excited to be in her own room at first but I have no doubt that by midnight she will be right back in my bed...
I am okay with it right now..When she is ready for her own bed she will get it even if we are still in this apartment..I will get her own bed...
My son coslept till age 5 then he went to his own and never looked back....LOL
We went from:
- complete co-sleeping at 7, to
- me lying down with my son until he fell asleep in his own bed (then slipping out to spend time with dh and then go to sleep in my own bed), to
- lying down with him for ten minutes then leaving while he was half-asleep, to
- tucking him into bed and sitting in a chair in the room to read for ten minutes before leaving.
Now he's 9 and sleeping by himself in a loft bed in his room. Sometimes I stay and read for a bit after I tuck him in and sometimes I just kiss and go. He's welcome to come cuddle with me in my bed if he wants but he rarely does. I love that bedtime has always been a good and happy time for him (and I love that bit of structured reading time just for me!)
Nice to see I'm not alone, my 7.5 yr old is still co-sleeping and refuses to even consider moving to her own bed. Its really starting to effect my sleep though, she HATES covers and kicks them off all night long which wakes me up because I'm cold. We've been sharing a twin bed out of necessity since moving across the county several months ago so when she kicks off the covers it uncovers me too. I'm planning on buying another bed next month with my tax return and I'd like to just get a twin and have my own bed so I can sleep undisturbed, cost is also a factor as is size. I hated how my queen we had to leave behind took up so much room space but dd7 is adamant about co-sleeping, she won't even go to bed without me which lately is starting to cause problems. I'm busy during the day and need the nights after she's in bed to finish work, I can't keep dropping everything at 8:30 because its her bedtime and therefore my bedtime according to her but if I'm not there she wakes up so its not like I can easily sneak out. My older child moved into her own bed under protest at age 6 when 7yo came along but she was still in the room with me (we lived in a 1 bedroom apt at the time). Anyway, if dd would stop kicking off the covers I would be happy to keep co-sleeping but she wont so I want my own bed!
We gradually introduced limits. I think by 7 I was lying down w/both dds in their bed, then leaving when they were asleep. Still do that, but now (age 9 and 6) they can sleep w/o me if necessary. At first they would usually wake in the night and come into the big bed. Dd1 seems to wake more often in the night, so eventually we told her that it had to be no more than an hour before time to wake up in the AM. Some nights she would come in and look at the clock and go back to her bed. There were times we would make an exception, like if someone was sick or having nightmares or something. At this time she can come in for maybe 10 minutes when it's time to wake up, and everyone seems fine with the current arrangement.
One downside was that I had to be willing to go to them in their bed if someone was fussing, having nightmares, etc. I might lie down with them for a short time, until they were calm, then go back to my bed. But I don't need to do that anymore.
You must have a really huge bed to let everyone have their own blankets. Its cold enough here we have an electric blanket plus several more on the bed. You can't bunch up electric blankets so each of us having our own wouldn't be safe.
I discovered co-sleeping when ds1 was about 2 mos old. Around his 2nd bday, when he chose to stop nursing, I had a room with twin beds on opposite walls and could lay with him until he fell asleep and then go the whole night in the other bed alone. When he was 4 yo I got married and he got his own room for the 1st time. I used a gentle transition method which I later found out was basically the NCSS. He was so impressed with himself for being a big boy!
Ds2 co-slept from his 1st night outside my body. I never even bought a crib. When he was 2 yo we got a toddler bed to go in my room but he hated it. Although he did STTN at 2, he nursed until 5 yo. At 4.5 yo I put a bunk bed in ds1's room and expected ds2 to sleep there...it took up to an hour to get him to fall asleep, I had to be right there. It wasn't enough for his big brother to be in the room bc he couldn't see him up there. We really struggled.
At 7.5 yo he got his own room and did really well for a couple of years and then really began developing severe anxiety and signs of disordered mood. He would take forever to be comforted to sleep and ended up in my room almost every night. And he was too scared to sleep on the floor, he had to be in my bed.
Now he is almost 12 and most nights I can just tuck him in but a couple of times a week I wake up to a knobby knee in my spine. It's driving me crazy, I can't take it anymore but the one night I locked my door he cried so loud I woke up and let him in. I asked him how old is too old to sleep in mom's bed, in his opinion, and he said he doesn't know. I said 12 is too old so we will see what happens in a few months.
My current 7 year old is part time in my bed and part time in the bed above me (bunk beds). My oldest child stopped co-sleeping at age 10, she is now 11 and can sleep alone but actually prefers to sleep with her 4.5 year old brother because she says her bed is lonely and cold otherwise. We will be co-sleeping for quite some time to come. Real estate is really expensive here and we are in the process on buying a tiny little 2 bedroom house. Did I mention we are a family of six? My new bedroom plan will be to keep the 11 and 4.5y old together in the tiny second bedroom and then get two beds in the master. One for the 7y old and I and 1 for Dh and the 2.5 year old. That will be it for the foreseeable future.