DH doesn't know I'm leaving him yet but he knows things are not good between us.
We've been married 6 years.
We have 3 kids, 1 has autism and would not do well in public school at all so I have to figure out how to be a single mom who works from home so I can home school.
I feel like he will sign whatever agreement I give him, may not even read it (his nature) so I need help with what to include.
What do I say if I want full custody? He hates being a parent so I am 90% sure he'll agree but I want to know what language to use. Is there an all-encompassing term for physical, legal, medical, etc custody? I also want open visitation with 3 days notice so he can see them as often as he wants to, is that reasonable? We will be staying in the same town to facilitate his relationship with the kids until he PCS's.
What is reasonable child support to ask for? He's an E-6 in the army and like I said, there are 3 kids including at least 1 special needs kid (we have another kid in ECI for SPD but it's not a medical dx).
My parents want me to ask for 400-500 per kid per month but I don't know if that's reasonable or not. We will have no debt at all when it's all final so he'll be bringing home twice his living expenses, or more.
Also is it reasonable to deny overnight visits until the youngest is 5? He has a history of anger problems and I want them old enough to tell me if something happens. My oldest can't convey that type of info.
I have a couple cards in my hand. Pictures of the boys with handprints on them (one on my special child's face) from him hitting them (spanking/smacking). The fact that he was dx bipolar and didn't tell the army about it (he's now in intelligence). The fact that he is unstable (went AWOL last year and was suicidal).
If there's a chance he *could* (not that he would) get more custody than me, I don't want to leave. I'd rather suffer than let him have the boys alone. I feel like open visitation is best because he can be a dad when he wants and he's not forced.
If we want to do this on our own I know we have to submit our agreement to a judge and have it signed, etc. I need a lawyer huh? When do I go about getting one? I know I can get a JAG lawyer if I get there first, so should I go see them before I tell DH I'm leaving?