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No shower but registry for second baby?

post #1 of 12
Thread Starter 

So i wont be having a shower for new baby. However, i predict that some family will want to bring/send a gift.  My MIL has already bought our bassinet and my mother contributed to our new stroller.  Not to sound unappreciative, but I really, really don't want more "stuff" in my house. We don't need newborn clothes or toys or stuffed animals, but there are things we do need.  Practical things that we could use. I started a wishlist primarily for myself, so i can buy the things i need as i get closer and have $ but also save on items if they dont get purchased before due date.  Is there a way to let family/friends know without being offensive?  I did tell my mom that i have a wishlist set up and to pass the information along if any extended family asks her.  Should i just leave it at that?

post #2 of 12
I think that's a good plan, jillgayle. I have a registry also, and I'll offer the link to people if they ask me for gift ideas. I don't want to be tacky and send out the link uninvited, and I figure if we get things we don't need, we can always donate to the safe house for women and babies in town.
post #3 of 12

This is my third and I still set up a registry, mostly as a list for myself and for the completion discount.

I think the only polite way to let people know about a registry is if they ask, or to have someone close to you pass it on as people ask.

 

I found with my second, people assumed we had what we needed and sent thoughful gifts (hand knit sweater, I just got my Grammy's for Iggy today, or my aunt who sends the best bamboo 18 month pjs) or were much better about asking what we needed (this time, more tiny nail clippers). I also found people tended to wait until after baby was born.

 

I am having a shower this time because my best friend wants to throw me one and I already know we are making the gifts all about stocking my freezer.

post #4 of 12
Thread Starter 

Sounds good. I'll just pass it along to my MIL so she can get that side of the family and cross fingers that people ask before sending stuff. 

post #5 of 12

A friend said she wanted to have a shower for us so I asked for a freezer meal shower since we don't need stuff. I already bought my extra cloth diapers, car seats, and diaper bag, but can always use meals! I do want a shower because I would like to celebrate these little boys' lives with friends but I totally understand not wanting a shower. I think setting up a registry and pointing people to that if they ask is a good idea, too.

post #6 of 12
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jillgayle View Post

Sounds good. I'll just pass it along to my MIL so she can get that side of the family and cross fingers that people ask before sending stuff. 

One good thing about people buying you stuff from places like Target and Wal-Mart, Babies R Us, etc. is that if you don't like or need it, you can return it and get something you do. Unfortunately, people seem to like to get me very useless, expensive dressy infant items from expensive, one-of-a-kind boutiques. It's not that I don't value their generosity or kindness, but I am not putting a newborn (or any kid) in a restrictive monkey suit, patent leather shoes, and Lord, don't even get me started on those over-the-top headbands for baby girls! Please just get me an annoying, noise making piece of plastic that I can return for a car seat! Ha!
post #7 of 12
Even my sister was surprised to find out there are things I really need for this baby. I had started out just adjusting my amazon registry from DD, but decided to delete it and start over. Mostly that's so people can see clearly what we NEED, and not be confused thinking we just received things that we actually got 3 years ago, some of which I sold already. redface.gif

I'm also doing a BRU registry for local folks. I was able to put a custom note on it that identifies the things we NEED this time.

Since among the stressors in my life right now is severely compromised finances, I am extraordinarily grateful that friends have offered a shower and hope I may be able to get some of those needs met that way.

While clothes may be needed, as I was selling those too, I almost certainly have enough to start on for either gender. So even if we stay on Team Green for this one, there will be needed items people could give if they choose to.
post #8 of 12
Now I'm thinking of doing a tiny registry for this kiddo more as a checklist for me than anything else. I literally need:
- bassinet/Moses basket
- replacement baby monitor (the power cord frayed on our old one and the one we grabbed at walmart out of desperation SUCKS)
- convertible single/double stroller
- diaper pins for flats in newborn stage before my OS pockets fit

We are not doing a shower but will do a welcome baby party: some easy food, friends and family, toddler activities, etc. I'm basically aiming to reproduce DD's second birthday party, minus gifts and cake and adding the outdoors. I plan to camp out under the big parasol with baby and have my minions bring me stuff lol.
post #9 of 12

I think we're going to do a "last hurrah" party before the baby.  My good friend wanted to throw me a shower again like she did last time and there is so little we really need except for not-very-fun things like bottle parts and a couple of pacifiers that it just didn't seem necessary.  Who wants to buy those things, they'll just buy cutesie outfits anyway and we soooo don't need anymore clothes!  So I told her, since our birthdays are four days apart at the end of June/early July, we should just host a fun summer gathering at my house and she can help get it ready as her contribution.

 

I am still going to use the big parasol idea though.  lol.gif

post #10 of 12
I was always taught that after your first baby, it was rude/greedy to have an additional baby shower (like a second wedding shower), so even though my budget is tight, I'm making do with what I have available to me. My partner has been supportive financially, but I'm doing most of the baby related tasks on my own. Shopping within my budget has been a huge challenge for me. I've found most of what I need at thrift stores at great prices, I've been very blessed. joy.gif

At the beginning of my pregnancy, I had been working out, but I don't have childcare for the hours I want to go the gym anymore. I've been walking more. I get up early and do it before it gets hot here (SO hot!) but I've also been using my youngest as a weight and doing reps with her in the evenings! My arms are thanking me- I can wear all of those flutter sleeve maternity dresses that I've been finding at the goodwill!!! Hooray!!!
post #11 of 12

Goodtexasmama - You can still set up a registry on amazon and keep it private to get the registry completion discount.  We put things like the next car seat we'll need on there (FF/Booster seat combo), lanolin cream, breastmilk bags, and some other essentials that we wanted to stock up on.  The 10% helps!

post #12 of 12
Notyourbuddyguy- I agree! My parents are unable to restrain themselves when being hopeful about a future grandchild. I meant something like a party. I have an amazon registry of things I've decided would make my time more useful since my last pregnancy. Although I monitored my cycles, because I was breast feeding, I wasn't as mindful of the tell-tale signs of ovulation as I should've been.....

I've been lurking on this board since I found out I was expecting. It took me a long time to accept this pregnancy as happily as my others have been. I apologize for that, and simultaneously thank you for your banter. I've really enjoyed your thoughtful discourse, recommendations, and the normalcy that I could experience through your stories and sharing.
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