I stayed home with my extremely high-need DD for the last three years and I have no regrets about that but I am feeling that it's time for both of us to move on. DD is still nursing like a newborn and I've had enough.
We had to put one of our dogs to sleep last week and I know DD is having a really hard time coping with the loss. She thinks we sent the dog away and she is very angry which I completely understand. I know she needs some time to adjust and cope so this is probably not the best time to bring on more changes but I am starting to feel that it's time to detach a little. I want stop co-sleeping. I want to stop breastfeeding. I want her to go to school full-time. I was considering homeschooling for awhile but I don't think I can take 24/7 mothering any longer.
I know she is still a child but she isn't a baby anymore. I don't feel the same degree of responsibility or urgency to be by her side and protect her from everything.
I used to feel too guilty and anxious about even the idea of leaving her with a sitter for a few hours. I do work a few hours a week while hubby watches her so my work has been the only break I've ever had from her but as I teach young ones, instead of dealing with DD, I get to deal with 20 of them which isn't really that much of a break. I am starting to feel really excited about the prospect of having her in a full-time preschool. I do have a transition plan (6 months of 3hr x 2 days, 6 months of 5 mornings a week, then one year of full-time preschool) but I'm surprised that I am feeling so eager to spend less time with her right now. I thought I'd want to keep her home with me for as long as possible.
Is this just a phase I'm going through, a bad day, or sometimes, is it really time to move on?