Hey everyone, my divorce was finalized in March 2012 and the custody order states that I need to call my ex every 2 weeks for our oldest son to speak to him and that my ex will set up weekly supervised visits for 3 months and then we'll go back to court to adjust parenting time.
Well, the week after the divorce was finalized, I called per our agreement, he hung up on his son (who was 4) and texted me saying never call again- I haven't. He never set up court ordered visitation either. He didn't live in my city at the time, he was literally passing through headed out east and I guess thought he'd see what he could get out of divorce court.
So, he has had zero contact for over a year and has not even SEEN his kids for three years (never met the baby, who is 2.5 years old)
It is unlikely that he will reappear and suddenly demand visitation, but I would like to change the court so it says no visitation. My kids are 5.5 and 2.5 and as far as they're concerned, they don't have a father.
I have a vague idea that he might be somewhere in Chicago. That's all I know. The number I have for him is not correct. I can't find him online.
How would I go able changing the custody order if I can't find him? Is it something I could do without a lawyer? I was lucky enough to find a pro-bono lawyer who assisted with the divorce but they are unable to help me again.
I would also like to change the childrens' last name to my last name. Their father is from a country that doesn't have a "surname" system and they got a portion of his name that is not actually their father's last name, if that makes sense (for example, their father is named Ali Syed Hassan and the children are Syed Yusuf and Omar Syed)** NOT REAL NAMES, just an example. Their father is Muslim but I am not raising them in that religion and I don't want them to be discriminated against due to their last names (which don't even match- the boys have different last names) I already use my last name for everything except legal documents for them. I don't know if anyone has personal experience with this. I feel like the court would allow the name change but I am mostly unsure about actually serving him, since I don't have any contact info for their father.