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The "Last Baby" Thread!

post #1 of 15
Thread Starter 
I thought I would make a thread for those of us who are experiencing our last pregnancies, having our last baby!

I thought my 3rd would be my last and I was very, very torn about it. I hated pregnancy and that was the reason I didn't want to have a 4th! I almost had my tubes tied but changed my mind a few weeks before DS3 was born. I am so glad I didn't follow through with that! It was DH who suggested maybe we were not done yet and even though I thought he was crazy, I was a little relieved as well.

Now pregnant with #4 & knowing this really is the last time I will be pregnant/have a newborn/etc I am surprised that I don't feel sad at all, but excited to do this one more time!

I'd love to hear how you other mamas having your final additions are doing emotionally!
post #2 of 15

This is our third, and definitely the last biological baby.  I think probably also the last baby, as well, but I am not quite ready to close the door to the universe on that one yet.  I really do not enjoy pregnancy and all that goes along with it, and ours are close-ish together, 26 months and now 27 months apart, so while we are super excited for another tiny new person, I am also looking forward to moving on to the next phase of our life.  I was really never sure we were done after two, and now I have a strong sense that this person completes our family.  It's bittersweet (though  mostly sweet right now, as I drag myself through the rest of the first trimester).  I am sure I will feel a little more sad about it, as it gets closer.

post #3 of 15

Yes, this is our last.  My husband was going to get a vasectomy this summer, and still will, but we get a bonus baby! 

I am feeling the weight of "wow, a baby" considering sleep loss, toll on my body, restricted freedoms (no margaritas!), etc, like I haven't before.  I've always just been "yay, a baby!"  This time it feels a little more complicated, maybe because we already have a teenager and I know what's to come?  

I don't feel sad at all.  I'm really relieved to come to this point because I honestly didn't think I'd ever get here.  I'm not dreading his vasectomy or feeling worried that it's the wrong decision.  

post #4 of 15
I think this is probably our last too...I was feeling more like it was earlier on...now, kinda ambivalent. DH is adamant it's our last, though...he recently admitted he only ever wanted 2 (!), but I've always felt like our family wasn't complete w/o 3 kiddos, but, like others have said, I'm excited to move onto the next stage and for everyone to sleep through the night...DH will probably have the V, but I'm definitely not doing anything permanent to myself. I'm only 28, and you just never know what life can bring.

Thanks for the thread, Owl!
post #5 of 15

I want it to be our last biological baby. I am very open to adoption or foster care later on, though. DH & I had always been not considering sterilization as options, but now for many reasons, I want it. Not sure what he will decide though. But we are quite fertile and I'm young (31) so more pregnancies are very very likely if we don't get a vasectomy.

 

I did not feel "done" after baby 3, but from the get-go of this one I feel very much "done". Plus the fact that I have wanted 4 kids for at least a decade.

post #6 of 15

We did foster care when our third child was a year and a half.  We did emergency care so got kids right out of their homes while they were waiting for placement, which was really rough with older kids and easier with younger ones.  I'm open to doing that again in the future.  I have a good friend that just adopted five kids, siblings, ages 1 to 11, with another sibling baby due soon that they'll also take.  She already had three kids but didn't feel "done" in terms of family size but had a hard time with her last birth so was open to adoption.  Now she says, "the more, the merrier" so who knows if they'll adopt more!  

Funny, my daughter just shared with me that she's so relieved that I'm pregnant- she thought I was going to tell them we were adopting. She said, "If we adopted kids, it would be weird because they aren't a part of our family."  She was really emotional about it.  We've always talked about fostering and adopting with them, so I'm surprised to hear her strong feelings.

post #7 of 15

I am on my third pregnancy and I am 36. DH and I are 99% committed that neither of us will ever be sterilized tho (we believe there are serious health risks to both procedures and that it isn't fair for only one partner to 'take one for the team', altho I believe that Vasectomy is MORE fair than Tubal, since the side effects are a little better and women deal with childbirth and possibly contraception), so I suppose I can't say it is truly my last. I also have had a semi-late loss, so I can't say that this baby will actually make it until much farther along, in which case it won't be my last pregnancy. 

 

But all in all, I expect this pregnancy, if carried to term, to be my last intentional pregnancy. <3

post #8 of 15

ETA: We are planning to use the 'Marquette Method' of NFP after this pregnancy (NFP plus the Clear Blue Easy fertility monitor), to give us the best chance of avoiding surprise pregnancies while simultaneously giving us the most days where we can be intimate, as I approach my peri-menopause stage . . . . 

post #9 of 15

My husband wants four, but I'm not completely sold on it yet. I have a feeling I'll be fine with once I work out parenting three. If we do have another I want the same spacing again and then DH is getting a vasectomy. He's not too fond of the idea, but I'm INSANE on the pill and had a horrible experience with an IUD and am allergic to latex (plus we hate using condoms). I've had a really traumatic c/s so I refuse to let them do a major surgery on me again when he can have a relatively simple procedure done. I've handled birth control for SO long in our relationship (we've been together since I was 15), it'll be his turn when we're done having kids.

post #10 of 15

Sarah - A friend shared this on FB a few weeks ago and I found it really interesting.  Maybe your hubby is on to something ;)  "3 is the most stressful number of kids to have" http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/05/07/three-children-is-most-st_n_3229032.html

 

We won't ever sterilize and since we use NFP we will (God willing) probably have another couple of kids.  We use Marquette as well.  Our problem is I have long irregular cycles so this time we got pregnant because after abstaining for 2 or 3 weeks I *thought* our chance on the day after ovulation was fairly low.  10% is what I read.  But obviously that was enough of a chance to get me into this DDC.  lol.

post #11 of 15

This is my first pregnancy, but I'm trying to make peace with the idea that it might also be my last.  My husband was very ambivalent about having kids at all and only agreed to the one because he saw that being a  mother was a really important thing for me.  But one child makes me a mother and I think that might be the limit of his acceptance.  He's talked about getting a vasectomy. I'm really hoping this child will be pleasant and easy and win him over to the idea of more, but that could go the other way too. He had such a bad sibling experience that it could be that the more he likes this one the less he'll want to inflict a sibling on him or her.  My siblings are some of my very favorite people in the world.  Anyway, the peace of my marriage and the happiness of my husband count for a great deal, so I am going to try to accept the idea of having an only child, even though four is the "magic number" in my head.

post #12 of 15
This is definitely, absolutely, for sure our last. Our soon-to-be 5yo was supposed to be our last, and I was happy with that, and happy with the idea of being done with the baby part of our life. DH and I were discussing which one of us was going to get fixed, and he told me that he really wants one more. I figured, if he really, really wants another one, and I know I love kids so I'll be happy once the baby is here, ok, why not? And I am happy. But there are also times that I'm like, "Agh! Now we have to go through all that baby stuff AGAIN! And pregnancy is NOT FUN!" (It's mixed in with the parts where I get dewy-eyed window shopping for a new sling, or deciding which kind of car seat to get this time.)

So this is DEFINITELY the last one. I'm probably going to get Essure as soon as possible after this baby is born. Eight is enough!
post #13 of 15

I rather envy the folks that know they're done.  But we want another, maybe two.  I just want all of my family here so we can move on with our lives.  In the meantime I'll just enjoy this journey.  

post #14 of 15
This is baby #4 and a complete suprise...and our last child FOR SURE. We needed fertility treatments that resulted in our twins and didn't worry about birth control with a 3% or less chance of a spontanous pregnancy...DH will be getting a vesectomy very soon!
post #15 of 15
This baby is our last:) it took us three years and three miscarriages to have our third. I was undecided about a fourth, DH wanted a fourth, and of course two weeks before I found out I was pregnant I told him three was our number and I was done. Ha ha. Little did I know.......four is our number;). I'm forty and four is plenty for me:)
I'm not sad or conflicted at all. Happy to know our family will be complete:)
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