Originally Posted by Serafina33
I let my sons see me have a glass of wine. Not daily, not even once a week, but occasionally. Sometimes it's two glasses. A relaxed attitude about a glass of wine in the evening-usually with a meal, especially when it's only occasional, is certainly fine in my opinion.
As for drinking beer every day, meh. One after getting home from work and unwinding/putting feet up..... maybe? But drinking beer after beer in front of kids doesn't set a good example. The problem is I don't know of many people who drink one beer occasionally, like I know people who do so (myself included) with wine. Usually beer drinking is either a daily habit and not just one, or then it's reserved for social outings. As far as I have noticed.
Being suspicious about this couple habitually using prescription drugs is a pretty big suspicion. I'd inquire about that one lightly, or your friend might get defensive and feel accused. I don't know what basis you have for being suspicious so I can't tell you if it's rational or not.
Talking about using drugs in the past? I think that's fine if the kids present are clearly not able to follow the topic of the conversation or have any idea as to the content.
Smoking around pregnant women and children is SO NOT OK. Yuck. She needs to only do it when there are no pregnant women or children around, and even then should ask nonsmokers around her if it's ok BEFORE she lights up. Second hand smoke kills.
Ok those are my .02 cents
Yeah I was annoyed with the smoking. I totally agree-- if the parents do it all the childs' life, whose to say they wont feel OK about doing it as adults? I am so flipy-floppy about these issues. But smoking is just GROSS so if I can avoid being around that I'll do it. Drinking wine is part of my life. I even thought seriously about becoming a sommelier and taking courses in viticulture. So, me not having wine around is just not reality, unfortunately. Drugs I do not take, nor condone taking in ANY way. I experimented too much when I was too young and promised myself when I had kids, I'd do as much as I could to prevent it from happening to my kids. So the drug talk annoys me. But I need to figure out how to approach it, because keeping DD ignorant isn't the best course either.
I don't want to ruin a new friendship over this. I wont accuse her of anything, I just worry that is what's going on with her and her hubs. UGH it's so hard. I feel like there are so many people who smoke pot habitually and take RX drugs. I don't do either and really try and live naturally (I realize pot is natural, but I personally don't like it), so it's hard for me to find anyone else these days who does the same. Just watch TV in the evening around 6-8pm and all you see are pharma companies pushing drugs. It's a weird time we live in. But this is just my opinion and I'm a bit of a hypocrite lol.
Originally Posted by SuzieSmiles
tillymonster - sorry you're stressing about your weekend, the drinking & smoking stuff... That sucks:( I don't have experience since I'm new at all of this but I definitely agree with other posters about the no smoking thing! I think seeing adults who drink responsibly can be a good example. Neither of my parents were big drinkers, my mom never really drank at all and my dad was a one beer every once in a while kind of guy and would enjoy a nice nip of scotch with his father in law every now and then. As an adult, I'm not an alcoholic but certainly love my pre dinner glass of wine or beer and enjoy another glass or 2 with dinner (of course not during pregnancy). I'm already thinking about breastfeeding and possibly pumping every once in a while so I can have a couple of guilt free drinks. Anyone else do that? If so, how long do you have to wait after having a drink to breastfeed again? Geez, maybe I do have a drinking problem!! hee hee
So, my DH has decided that I have created a new language since being pregnant. I apparently moan, groan, sigh, grunt and emit undecipherable vocalizations these days. I don't even really notice it until he asks me what's wrong or is everything OK? I tell him to ignore me and that I'm fine but I think I'm driving him nuts;p
As a new mom I was so paranoid about drinking and nursing. As my daughter grew, I became more and more educated about lactation. I did have a pump but honestly, couldn't stand the thing after awhile and just decided to wait till she was older to drink wine (the only thing I ever drink). I really only started to have ANY around age 1-1.5yo. Honestly, I was so tired it wasn't appealing at all to go out. After reading about how lactation works, the alcohol ratio isn't a 1:1 potency, the amount of alcohol in your blood is the same as your breastmilk, so your baby will get *some* alcohol, but not much at ALL unless you drink a heck of a lot. You can look up this info on the MOST comprehensive website for breastfeeding, http://www.kellymom.com.
If you give a dose of Tylenol when they are teething say, they'd get more alcohol directly from that, then they would from your breastmilk! No joke! One or two glasses (3 even!) is nothing, and does nothing. You sound responsible, and believe me, your mama instincts will take over and you'll know what YOU are comfortable with. I would eat with my wine, so that it helped with digestion and lessens how long my body would take to filter out the alcohol too. My issue was everyone else. People seriously thought when I drank ONE glass of wine (which during holidays, it was more then one lol) that I would get DD drunk. My sister even said she'd sleep better. Um... I wish! It was total ignorance on her part, but rather than try and explain it, I just wouldn't partake in front of people who just wouldn't get it.
You want to keep a supply of BM in the freezer in case of an emergency, like say if you were hospitalized. That can be used of course when you go out, but you'll still want to pump just to feel comfortable if you're gone more then an hour, you want those breasts emptied as much as possible to avoid mastitis and supply issues. Get a good hand pump and bring it in your purse. You should express enough to get comfortable, then nurse or pump-and-dump when you get home. Personally, I'd nurse when I got back from drinking (provided I felt ok) rather then pump because I hated to pump! Dumping the milk isn't necessary, you could mix it with other milk you pumped the next day and it'd be harmless! I never did that, as it wasn't my preference. I felt guilty about it because OTHERS made me feel like that. It's another annoying part of becoming a new mom and filtering through the barrage of bad advice and just totally WRONG info about how lactation works.
I'd rather pump a bottle for DH to give DD in the AM on weekends so I could get more sleep! Once she started sleeping better that changed. I think you could have 1-2 and even 3 glasses of wine and nurse a baby without it doing squat, but being paranoid, I waited a long time and felt comfortable doing that when she was able to metabolize and eat solid foods instead of nursing. I'm a total lactivist and think BM is the coolest thing about motherhood and the BEST thing ever for your baby, so don't mind me... ;)