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hi...im 18 nd im 6 wks & 5 days pregnant...post #1 of 195/27/13 at 2:06pmThread Starterpost #2 of 195/27/13 at 2:08pmpost #3 of 195/27/13 at 2:09pmThread Starterpost #4 of 195/27/13 at 2:33pm
Find yourself a midwife! A midwife will take more time with you at appointments, answer your questions and provide more education. Also, consider the possibility of out of hospital birth. Birth centers and home births are good options.
If you end up giving birth in a hospital, consider using a doula.post #5 of 195/27/13 at 4:24pmI also recommend midwifery care. While there are some great obstetricians out there, they can be harder to find, and the odds of a midwife giving you more respect, time, and information are high. This is a huge, formative experience for you, and you want it to be a positive one where you feel safe, supported, and empowered.
Speaking of which, please do make the most of supportive friends and family, as you will need everything they have to offer. That doesn't mean you have to take on every bit of advice people give you, but hear them out and make your own decisions. You can trust your decisions when they agree with your gut and the research you do.
Which brings me to reading. There are some great books out there to prepare you for what lies ahead. Ina May's Guide to Child Birth (http://www.amazon.com/Ina-May-Gaskin/e/B000APVTXM/ref=sr_ntt_srch_lnk_1?qid=1369696737&sr=1-1) and Penny Simkin's The Birth Partner (http://www.amazon.com/Birth-Partner-Third-Childbirth-Companions/dp/1558323570/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1369696781&sr=1-1&keywords=Penny+Simkin+the+birth+partner) are classics. I also hear great things about Birthing From Within and I'm sure others on here will suggest others I'm forgetting. When the baby arrives, it's great to have Dr. Sears's The Baby Book (http://www.amazon.com/Baby-Book-Everything-About-Birth/dp/1469252236/ref=sr_1_5?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1369696654&sr=1-5) on hand to help you know what to expect at each stage of development and work through challenges as they arise.
Online communities such as this one are also a great place to share experiences and ask questions. I can also highly recommend the Birth Without Fear FB page and blog (www.birthwithoutfearblog.com). It's a very supportive community of women sharing stories of their births. All different kinds of births. The moderators are pro-natural, but they also show great respect for women who chose or end up with more medicalised births. There is a series of "I am strong" posts where women share their pregnancy and birth experiences, and heaps of them were written by young moms. Just remember that some of the stories are amazing because the women faced great challenges, but don't let that scare you, as most pregnancies and births progress more "normally."
All the best to you, and I hope you find the support you're looking for.post #6 of 195/27/13 at 4:50pmGoing with midwife care either at home or one based in a hospital is great advice. Get some reading done, the books listed above are great. Find a support group, locally if you can, of other young moms. You have some time to make good decisions about your care. Don't forget that even if you hire one care provider, it doesn't mean you can't change your mind later. If you go the hospital route look at all options and tour them before you commit. I'm on baby two and doing this (my last birth was a transfer from home). My best advice is that birth is amazing and unpredictable. Know what you want but picture yourself being strong and making decisions even if plans go off track. If you want an epidural, picture how you will handle the pain and practice it if there isn't time or it doesn't work. If you want to birth at home and have to transfer, picture yourself being strong and telling the nurses and docs what you want and need. Prepare for the unexpected and the less you will be thrown off if the unexpected happens. If you can, hire a doula.post #7 of 195/28/13 at 6:40amDon't let anyone tell you what is best for you. Just find out what your options are and make the choice that feels right for you and your baby. There are lots of great people on these boards giving excellent advice but always remember to ask yourself whether the advice feels right to you. No one is the same, no birth experience is right for every woman and every pregnancy. Congratulations and best of luck!post #8 of 195/28/13 at 2:21pm
I second the relax and take care of yourself. I would also add take a prenatal vitamin simply because folic acid is very important. You may also want to join one of our Due Date Clubs. The January group is already up and running. If you are due in February, that group will most likely be formed soon so you can join. It's a great way to talk with other moms-to-be who are in the same place in their pregnancies. Do you have any specific questions or concerns that you would like to be addressed?
Congratulations on your pregnancy!post #9 of 195/30/13 at 12:22pmpost #10 of 195/30/13 at 9:38pmQuote:
Enjoy the ride into motherhood! You'll be a new kind of you, and find that through all the ups and downs -it is always worth it! :)
Oh and let people pamper you as much as possible. You'll never have a first pregnancy again...each one you get less and less attention or even acknowledgment!post #11 of 195/31/13 at 9:24amQuote:Originally Posted by Sphinxy
Don't let anyone tell you what is best for you. Just find out what your options are and make the choice that feels right for you and your baby. There are lots of great people on these boards giving excellent advice but always remember to ask yourself whether the advice feels right to you. No one is the same, no birth experience is right for every woman and every pregnancy. Congratulations and best of luck!
Ditto, except I'd add: Ignore the haters. Haters always gonna hate, and you can always find someone looking for a reason to hate on a younger mama, especially if she's not married. You may not have any supportive family and friends. I didn't as a younger mama. Start seeking out other mamas now, especially other younger mamas who will get it.
Best of luck!post #12 of 195/31/13 at 3:24pm
I had my first son at 18 years old and my second at 30 years old, so I can say this about what I have learned (which was stated by someone else) and that is to explore your options on birthing and be your own advocate. Looking back on my first birth I can see how the nurses at the hospital must have thought they could just do what they wanted without my consent because I was so young, and if I could do it over again I would have been more assertive. I would have also sought out more information before the big day! Do not let anyone make you think you do not have the right to make decisions about your body and your baby.
If you plan to breastfeed you should definitely seek out a LLL (La Leche League) meeting in your area and attend them while still pregnant. Building a network with other breastfeeding mothers is invaluable, and will give you the support you need even before you meet your little one. http://www.llli.org
Again, I cannot express enough the importance of a good support system! I do not know your personal situation, but if you cannot get the support you need (emotional/moral) from your family then you can find it other places. There are so many mamas out there to lean on, you just have to find them! ;) Best wishes!post #13 of 195/31/13 at 4:07pm
Congrats! Take your time with choices, look around at all of your options and know that babies don't need all of the stuff that is out there! Love, food, a clean bum, some warm clothes and loving people to hold and care for it :)
But be you, do what you need to to be the best mom you can!post #14 of 196/1/13 at 10:56am
Educate yourself! Know about birth, about your healthcare options, and how to take care of a newborn. You cant be TOO educated. The more you know, the more you are empowering yourself.
Spend the next 8 months finding stability and getting to the place you want to be when you are a new mom.
Don't underestimate how much having a baby at 18 changes your life. Expect to find out who your real friends are. But also expect to make new friends with a similar new lifestyle.
Being a teen mom is trying, far more trying than having a child as an adult. But, its still awesome. Now is your time to find out how strong you really arepost #15 of 196/1/13 at 12:13pm
Hello! This is my first as well, and is unplanned. I have been trying to research and stay informed, and am working on building enough confidence to stand by my own instincts and decisions. I do find that learning so much about what could go wrong, while comforting in a way (so I know I have done all in my control), can be nerve wracking. So I have been trying to tell myself to let go of things out of my control, and enjoy the wonderful process that I have never experienced before.
Remember that fear will not do anything to help you. It will not change a thing. So replace that fear with faith. I try to have faith in myself and my body, as well as in God. When you are focusing on positive thoughts it helps push out the bad ones. No matter what happens, your mind and your attitude are things that are well within your control.
My husband will be leaving for basic training soon. There is a possibility that with AIT he might miss the birth, and being very pregnant for weeks without him will suck. That's something I can't control. So I just have to think of the worst that could happen, accept it, and know that I am strong enough to deal with it. In the end I will be just fine.
I also recommend writing in a journal. When you feel like your everything is overwhelming you just write it down. That always seems to help me gain some perspective and relax a little. Plus you will be creating something special for your baby to read someday (or not, if you feel it's too private).post #16 of 196/2/13 at 4:43pmGoogle search La Leche League. They are a breast feeding support group. They will help you figure out how to feed your baby once it's born. I had my baby at 31 and was so prepared for birthing natural I forgot to think abt what would come next. I wish looking back I had found La Leche beforehand.post #17 of 196/2/13 at 9:18pm
I was 21 with my first child and really had no idea what to expect. Getting a doula was the best decision I ever made; I wouldn't have it any other way. She was a HUGE support when the day of my son's birth came around. She sat by the shower and sprayed the water on my back when I was in pain and she was my go to person and my rock when I wanted to tell the Doctor or nurse something. We made a plan beforehand, and she helped everybody stick to that. It was an amazing experience. I can't wait to find a doula for this pregnancy as wellpost #18 of 196/3/13 at 8:42amEnjoy yourself and this transition to a new part of your life. I was 21 when my first was born and all around were people feeling sorry for me, pointing out all the ways this was a tragic situation and was going to ruin my life, etc. but they were all wrong and I'm so glad I didnt put too much stock in what they said. I was pleasantly surprised how natural and easy it was to become a mother, and in spite of some of the challenges it's been totally worth it and not nearly as dire as people made it out to be. Congratulations and good luck, mama!
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