or Connect
Mothering › Mothering Forums › Childhood and Beyond › The Childhood Years › My daughter doesn't wipe...
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:

My daughter doesn't wipe...

post #1 of 16
Thread Starter 

My daughter, 5 years old, continually forgets to wipe.  Or maybe she just doesn't wipe, and it's not a matter of forgetting.  Anyway, she almost always has skids in her undies by the end of the day... sometimes she gets red, and I have to put diaper cream on her.  She still has frequent pee accidents, but when she had a rash of them at school and they suggested she might have a UTI, she didn't.  But I guess that's a possibility from not wiping.  I've tried to explain to her why she needs to wipe, but I know she doesn't, because of the undies, and because I often find the pee and poo, unflushed, and there's no TP in there!!  Sometimes I happen to be in the bathroom with her at the same time, and remind her, but mostly she potties on her own now.  Any tips? Commiseration?  Is this mainly a laundry issue?? 

post #2 of 16
I would have her help me with the laundry - apply the stain stick, soak the underwear, whatever you would usually do.
post #3 of 16

I was having this problem with my 5 year old girl as well...I found out that she was having a hard time reaching properly with the toilet paper and didn't like the mess she was making on her hands...ect ...Can't blame her for that one.....I resolved this by buying flushable wipes for awhile until she was used to the stretching and wiping it took to clean herself properly..And I told her that if she truely needed help to not to hesitate to yell...I helped a couple times but now she is wiping herself fulltime and no more skiddies in the undies.. 

post #4 of 16

this is a bunch of issues. and you have to figure out why.


two things. as pp said get wet flushable wipes. even better if you can afford it get a portable bidet (decent ones cost between 60 to a 100). it is well worth the cost. 


is your dd a perfectionist?


does she know how to wipe? have you shown her exactly. step by step?


does she hate getting her hands dirty. 


does she know how much toilet paper to use?


also this is TMI perhaps - but if your dd has soft stools she needs to be shown how to wipe. slightly harder stools is not a problem. but soft ones are very hard to clean and kids specifically need to be taught how to do it and then asked to do it and then they show you how they do it. do the TP and flushable wipes. 


in my dd's case while it was wipes that were helpful really its the bidet. she cant stand the idea of poop on her fingers which she was getting. 

post #5 of 16
My DD had this problem after a unit on conserving resources. I showed her how much to use and told her tp isn't something to worry about conserving. I make her return to the bathroom to flush.
post #6 of 16
Originally Posted by One_Girl View Post

My DD had this problem after a unit on conserving resources. I showed her how much to use and told her tp isn't something to worry about conserving. I make her return to the bathroom to flush.

OMG this was my dd too. THAT was her issue of getting things on her hand. she was using way too little TP. 


the flushing? eyesroll.gif she doesnt have a problem with it. "I" do. we do the brown thing, and sometimes i let it go TOOO brown. 


with kids that age i have found leaving notes where they can read as reminders (either funny words or funny picture) has really helped them with their habits. 

post #7 of 16
My kids both had (or in the case of the younger one, still has) a problem with reaching to wipe effectively. Also, I've taught them to wipe front to back only and never back to front (both girls) and that makes them nervous to really get in there and clean. Maybe I didn't explain that issue to them well, but it's too late to change how I presented it. Also, if they DID (or DO) work at it, they get poop on their hands, which they hate so sometimes they would, or do, just skip wiping at all.

So they started use our old cloth diaper sprayer, still hooked up, as a bidet to help them get cleaned up, and after that it's much easier to wipe. If you're looking for a practical solution rather than a discipline kind of thing, that might be an idea.
post #8 of 16

We have a little bit of this issue, not a lot. She always cleans but sometimes hasn't cleaned properly which has caused her some real bad rashes, together with holding her poop because she is so scared it will hurt. Our solution is to check each time and help her to clean. Sometimes she forgets to tell us but whenever we know she's going, we check.

Edited by Neera - 6/4/13 at 6:42am
post #9 of 16
Thread Starter 

Thanks for all the ideas, everyone.  I'm realizing she probably never got too much instruction in bum wiping because when potty learning, mostly I did it for her, and then when she regressed, I had to completely leave the job up to her in order for her to feel like it was her "thing" to use the potty instead of her undies.  So we probably never worked on it all that much.  We will have a little chat about it tomorrow, and I'll see if I can address all the issues or find out what she's thinking.  We had some Disney princess flushable wipes at one point, but they didn't really get used all that often.  But I'll ask her if she thinks those might help again and we can get some more!  I do hate to see her with a rashy bum, so thank you.

post #10 of 16
My 6 year old daughter was the same way. It took me and her father to constantly remind her to wipe.
post #11 of 16

With DD (8 now) at that age, wiping was a huge problem. It resolved pretty much instantly when we switched to family cloth. I made two-ply squares from the massive quantities of receiving blankets left over from my youngest, and kept them in a basket next to the toilet with a peri bottle. She found the family cloth more comfortable and easier to use than toilet paper, especially if she wet it with the peri bottle first. That and a large number of the receiving blankets I used happened to have Winnie the Pooh on them, and she found it hilarious that she was wiping her bum with Pooh.eyesroll.gif

post #12 of 16

Um... I guess I'm a minority here smile.gif.   My dd is 8 and my son is 6 yrs old.  I still wipe both of them love.gif  I guess it's just me.  My daughter refused (not freaking out, just whenever I talked to her about it she would get whinny, ask me to do it repeatedly), saying she got poop on her hand once.   That happened probably 3 years ago =). 

And my son, his poop, sorry to be graphic, but it sometimes requires a few wipes to get it all.  (yes, I worry about his digestion a bit). 

It was never a big deal, they both usually poop once/twice per day around the same time, just holler for me to come help, its never been a 'thing'. 

There have been a few times in the past 6 months, usually when I'm tired, I've told my 8 yr old she can do it herself and she has. 


Just my two cents =)

post #13 of 16
My DS didn't fully get the hang of it until 6, so at 5 we were still helping, or at least with him and instructing, most of the time. He needed complete, step-by-step instructions, then needed to practice and practice to really get the mechanics down.

At first, we just told him "wipe your bottom," assuming that since he'd felt us do it countless times, it'd be obvious where to wipe. But he wiped his whole bottom, cheeks and everything, basically spreading the mess all over the place, and got terrible rashes until we figured out what had happened! So yeah, some kids really need intense, detailed instruction before they really get it.
post #14 of 16

My almost seven year old still struggles with this!  She always wipes, but her panties are often dirty.  She's otherwise a very clean kid and I've been worried about how to handle the issue!  I think she just has trouble getting it all off because things have always been softer in that department.  

post #15 of 16

Buy the wet wipes.  Cottonelle is one brand that makes them; Costco even has their own brand.   (Sold in the toilet paper aisle.)   The wet wipes make wiping so much easier for kids!

post #16 of 16

ds just turned 7 and has this problem, he was using wet wipes but they kept clogging the toilet...

New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:
  Return Home
  Back to Forum: The Childhood Years
Mothering › Mothering Forums › Childhood and Beyond › The Childhood Years › My daughter doesn't wipe...