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US mothers increasingly main family breadwinner - Page 2

post #21 of 24

 Love is great but love does not pay the rent.

 

This is just a reality of it.

 

I do not want to depend on any man ever for money because what what I see on the forums and real life it lead to unhealthy balance. I am sure some people have awesome families where mom stays home and man does not feel like he deserve a free pass on housework but I am yet to see it.

 

And what about divorce? death? disability?

 

Things happen and more often than people think.

post #22 of 24
Quote:
Originally Posted by choli View Post

Interesting - per the third article linked I work in one of the seven professions with the smallest gender pay gaps.

In one of the seven where women tend to get paid slightly more than men, or one of the ten with the smallest gap?

Sorry. Possibly not important, just like to get my details straight. If you prefer not to answer, I understand.
post #23 of 24

I currently SAH full time (besides the one after school kid I look after for another month) and my husband willingly participates in the household chores and child rearing. Sometimes he does even more than I do (believe it or not) and sometimes he does next to nothing (<---- but these times are not based on not wanting to, it's based on his job and what hours he's working or if he's even at home during this time).

 

In previous years together he's been gone away for work for 8 months while I've done all the work of 2 parents and then some extra work at the same time and there's been years where I have been too sick to do any more than look after my children's needs during the day, and he's picked up all of the slack and looked after the entire household after work. There's also been times where I have brought in an income higher than my Dh's and times when I've brought in much smaller incomes but still a big contribution to the family. 

And through everything and every variation he's always treated me like a queen :) And he's my king... neither of us has more power in the relationship.

 

I feel completely comfortable at this time being 100% dependent on my husband at the moment. However I know if something were to change drastically tomorrow and we divorced that I could with a two week course have a job that pays as well if not more than my husband. And without the course I have lots of past training that is still relevant that would provide us with a decent living pay, even if it was less than he's currently making. For us choosing to have a parent home with the children as much as possible while still allowing one us to further our education was important. It just happened that the opportunity for him to be the breadwinner and me to be the SAHP was the better option at the time. We're also completely covered in case of death and disability. In fact, my husband is pretty sure I'd fare better than he would if the other one were to pass away. 

 

So it can happen :)

post #24 of 24
I'll be one of the female breadwinners with a stay at home spouse after I deliver and my maternity leave is over. I make more than double what my spouse does (he's college-educated, and though I have a graduate degree and am technically more educated, I'm not using it, so the difference is in the field of work). We did the math on child care and work-related expenses, and it just didn't make sense for him to continue working full time. I wish I had the option of staying home instead, but with my enormous student loans (on the degree I'm not using), it would be way too tight for us on just his salary, so there wasn't much decision to make.
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