Over the past couple weeks, I have been having more and more anxiety and fears about this birth. So after some introspective thinking I have come to realize a couple things.
It has been over 10 years since my last birth, and nearly 8 since I last assisted a birth. I am out of practice and feeling very shakey about the whole thing. My DP has only been through one birth, that ended in a c-section, and that was 7 years ago. He doesn't feel like he has a very good grasp on labouring, because he was kind of excluded from a lot of the process.
So between those two things, and the fact that we have never faced anything like this together, it feels like we are first timers.
I am sad that I have no women in my life that I can talk to/lean on/turn to as it comes to the birth. My mother is not capable of being supportive to me, my daughter is too young, and I have no friends anymore. We can't afford to hire a doula. I am pleased with my midwife, and the other midwives at the practice, but the office format makes it difficult to feel close to any of them. I lack a strong, loving female presence in my life.
Hopefully, we can find a free child-birth class in the next few weeks, but I don't believe the hospital offers one. Maybe there are online videos that could be helpful?