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Should I be worried or am I being paranoid about a school trying to take control?

post #1 of 14
Thread Starter 

I have a son who struggles to read. He was 9 at the begining of the school year. My original plan was to place two of my children into the school down the street so I could spend more one-on-one teaching him. It was my chance to really make an impact. From the begining I had always homeschooled him AND 'something else' : co-op, classes at the Center For Home Education, and a private summer school a few yrs ago. At 9 his brother was reading all the time and loves to read so I became worried. The difference is, with my first I used Sing Spell Read and Write and it was a success. I just chose to try different approaches with my second. Since the Sing Spell Read Write worked so well with my first and everything else wasn't working for my second I decided to use the Sing Spell Read Write for my second. My husband essentially robbed my chance at the 9 months of really making an impact by hyjacking my plan and enrolled our second son into the public school with our two others. I argued, WHAT IS THE POINT THEN!?? He retorts, we need him evaluated and we can get a free evaluation there. If this doesn't work we'll pull him out.

He was dx with dyslexia. By Feburary of this year, (yes, it took them that long) they placed him into an intervention program for dyslexics. He had two months of the program. 

For his Math MOCK he scored one of the top scores out of the entire 3rd grade. 




He fails the Math STARR test by two questions. But..


my struggling reader passed the language arts portion of the STARR test. I'm like, WHAT???


Here is where the paranoia sets in..

My kinder is reading, doing well right? His teacher was on my a$$ the entire year, "He's just not getting it! Its not clicking! I'm pretty sure he'll be repeating Kindergarten." His scores were off the charts when I confronted the admistartion. A week ago she scheduled a meeting with my husband and me to discuss his progress. Sure enough, he didn't pass. She didn't pass him. She talked us into summer school. I thought, okay.. one month of extra time won't hurt.

My second child, first grade. She blurts out, "We're not going to be back here next year." That was suppose to be a seceret. Something we told the children not to repeat after they heard my husband and I discussing it. This alarmed the teacher so much that she went to the counslor and then called me to ask if she too could attend summer school because she heard her brother was going. At the meeting she tells us what our daughter said and everyone in the room looked "very concerned". We responded by saying we might be moving, our lease is up in August and we're looking into other schools. Summer school for our first grader was requested because the teacher, although admitted our child was on parr and doing well, was afraid she would regress. That was the only reason. So we thought, at least her brother will not be alone.

That gives me at least one month to work one-on-one with my struggling reader. Okay, I'm content. Next year we will be homeschooling all of them again anyways. This year has been a nightmare there!

Just now, I get an email saying our second son will be attending summer school too and I needed to sign the paper work tomorrow asap. Last day of school is tomorrow. Wait, WHAT??? NO!

I wrote to the counselor telling her that I do not consent to my son attending summer school.

I think I just stirred up a hornets nest. I'm so ANGRY right now!!!! It feels like they're slowly trying to hook us in and take complete CONTROL over us!!!!!!!!!! This is their plan from the begining and this is a formula and we're apart of the variable. My gut instincts is telling me this. I'm more than just a little freaked out.

post #2 of 14
I am a bit confused. It would help if you would clarify your children and who is doing what.

In the meantime, it sounds like the one who is actually struggling was not supposed to go to summer school, which is what you wanted so you could work with him alone. Correct? And now the school wants you to sign him up? The solution is to say that you already made other arrangements for him, and it is not possible for you to change them now. Your other option is to simply pull all the children out of school now, and *none* will attend the summer program.

I can understand your frustration! I hope this all works out well.
post #3 of 14
Thread Starter 


JR is the son who was dx as dyslexic. He is our second child. Attended third grade at the school. The email said "You forgot to sign papers for summer school". My reply to that was, "I was not informed he was attending summer school." Then I wrote to the school's counselor, who first said he was attending summer school, saying, "No I do not consent to him attending."

IR is our daughter. She's in the first grade. Did well in school but her teacher feared she'd regress and asked to sign her up for summer school.

LR our youngest son. Kinder. Horrible experience with his teacher all year long. She basically predicted he would have to repeat. I said, "Fine! Whats the point?!" Every single day was something negative about his academic performance. I tried to pull him out and got a threatening phone call saying a truency officer would be by the house later that day. I went in that afternoon and spoke to an administrator who showed me his scores. They were off the charts! Basically begged to keep him till the rest of the year because of how well he was performing.

Part of me is frightened that they have the power to take our kids away. Tomorrow both hubs and myself will go in to tell them in person that JR will not be attending the summer program. I like how confidently you said, "we already made other arrangments for him and its not possible to change them now." I'll go in tomorrow with the same confidence.

post #4 of 14

I am not sure what state you are in and what the rules are there.  It does sound to me like the people at school have their eyes on you.  This is just from your posts and not knowing the back story.  The threat to send a truancy officer to your home is pretty scary.  


If you are going to homeschool next year, make sure you have all your t's crossed and your i's dotted.  Plan ahead, get familiar and comply with all of the requirements from your state.  Make sure you fulfill ALL of it.  Just be more mindful of your steps until you are on the clear.  


Have you heard of HSLDA?  I am not a member but I have heard people suggest them.  

post #5 of 14
Confidence is key when dealing with an interfering school official. Be respectful, of course, but act as though there is no doubt in your mind that what you are doing is legal.

Edited to add: sorry, not sure if you'll see this before the meeting. I hope all goes/went well!!!
post #6 of 14
Schools prefer to keep the students who are doing well. So, hopefully, they will not make an issue about the one who needs extra help. Let us know what happens.
post #7 of 14

This sounds like very strange behaviour by the school. Am I correct in saying that they are saying your son is doing well by their tests and yet they want him to repeat kindergarten?


Can I suggest that this sounds rather as though you need some help specific to your state and situation. Is there any prior social services involvement or reason for you to suspect that they would wish to take your kids away? 


Are you in touch with your state and/or local homeschooling association? I'd assume that if you were willing to disclose your state on here, there would be someone who could point you in the right direction, if not. 


Good luck with it, it sounds stressful.

Edited by Fillyjonk - 5/30/13 at 10:14am
post #8 of 14
They threatened the truancy officer on a kindy student? Don't know what state you're in but isn't that under the compulsary attendence age anyway?
post #9 of 14
He was enrolled in school, and therefore can be considered truant.

What happened at the meeting? I've been thinking of you all day. I hope it went well!
post #10 of 14
Pek64- oh, that makes sense, didn't think of that.

Since you're planning on homeschooling next year anyway I would go ahead as planned; just make sure you're extra carefull about whatever the law requires in your state. I couldn't tell if you needed them to be in summer school for childcare...but if so in your shoes I would try to find an alternate program.
post #11 of 14

I suspect it would depend on the state. In my country compulsory education age is actually 5 years and 1 term. But kids have often been in school for a few years before thatBizarrely, the only child we've had a visit from the educational welfare department for was my youngest when she was 4, which is not only well under compulsory school age, but she was actually enrolled in the local Waldorf school. So it is something that will be region specific-round here the truancy offers do get involved before kids are compulsory school age, but shouldn't, if that makes sense, against the parents wishes. I seem to remember that in many states compulsory attendance is only from 6, 7 or even 8, so its really worth checking.


Like I say, contact your local HS people, they will know the deal :-)

post #12 of 14
I'm still hoping for an update. How did the meeting go? PM me if you don't want to talk about it publicly. And don't feel embarrassed if the school got the upper hand yesterday. Just make sure you get ready for the fall as soon as you get over what happened so far.
post #13 of 14
Thread Starter 

I'm so sorry for not updating. I just sent the counselor an email stating my son would not be going to summer school. Had no problems whats-so-ever. But I did elect for the other two to attend summer school. The decision was based on the fact they really enjoyed going and it was only for 3.5 weeks and a few hrs of their day. Then, home for lunch. All the children will be at home studying their academics this year. My husband created a curriculum for the eldest child. He's learning how to implement and operate a business for his 8th grade yr. Should be interesting. We'll begin in a few weeks from now. Its going to be an exciting year.

post #14 of 14
Glad it went well. Have fun this year!
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