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Lets talk labor! - Page 2

post #21 of 48

There are scares of superbacteria in the hospitals here.  I don't think anything major has happened in this city but in the country's capital city which isn't that far away, I know there has been some pretty nasty bacteria in the hospitals that don't respond to the usual antibiotics.   I went to the hospital twice so far to have my cervix checked and the whole time I was there I was trying not to touch anything and immediately washed hands and disinfected after touching doors and again before walking out.  I just get the heebie jeevies.  They even asked me when I first went there to think if I have been in a hospital overnight at any point in the past decade, because that would automatically increase my likelihood of having been exposed to truly nasty germs.  scared.gif   Thankfully, I have not overnighted in any hospital for ten years, and I am certainly not eager to be in any germy hospital any more than I have to be from now on.  I like my nice, clean home, with the nice friendly bacteria that our bodies already know and live alongside without issue.

 

I do hope that the last round of pinworm meds clears it up for GOOD because that is the only thing that I have been stressing out over in my own home, constant vacuuming and washing all linen/towel/pyjamas in the morning.  The OTC stuff didn't work for all the households my sons live at,  and we are now about a month clear of symptoms after two rounds of prescription meds, but I'll relax more in another month or two without symptoms from anyone and stop stressing about microscopic pinworm eggs that could be anywhere and everywhere....and truly start to feel that my home is the cleanest place to give birth.  (But even then, pinworms are benign and superbacteria are not so if I had to choose right now it would still be home)

post #22 of 48
Quote:
Originally Posted by katalopolis View Post


I'm excited too! Not even a little bit scared although this isn't bravery so much as I have never done it before so I don't have any experience to base fear upon...

Same here redface.gif

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by onematchfire View Post

Chispita, you'll want to give yourself six weeks or so for the Hypnobabies course, if you're doing self-study (you're not supposed to try to condense it). Given that due dates are such a guess, you may want to start well before that.

Thanks! Good to know what a reasonable time to do this would be - because I know that if I start way too early I will eventually lose interest and forget about it, since I sometimes have the attention span of a gnat. Though aidenn recommends a bit sooner - so I'm thinking mid to end June would be a good time to start it.

 

We're also begining to think about the logistics involved in setting up a birth tub, since we live in an apartment. Need to get out the measuring tape and figure out how much space we have once we move the dining room table to the side and maybe get rid of one of our sofas (I want to get rid of it anyway and get a comfy armchair), to see whether it's doable or not.

post #23 of 48

We are aiming for a home birth, followed by a lotus birth. I will use the water as comfort, whether I give birth in there or not is up in the air, depends how I am feeling come pushing time. We were going to go with a VERY baby friendly/natural birthing friendly hospital with a CNM but after some deep thinking and spiritual guidance decided to go for a home birth. I am much more excited about and look forward to being in my comfort zone surrounded by familiar sights and sounds and smell. DD will not be with us, my mom will come pick her up when labor starts. I just don't feel confident in having her around if I'm in deep labor and our house is small. I keep envisioning myself squatting over a birth spot (shower curtain, towels nearby.."nest like) and hanging onto a wall partition that is between our kitchen and living room and birthing there. A few things happened during DD's labor that could have been avoided had we stayed home and birthed here but hey ya live & learn right? I am excited for this labor. I am confident in my doula & husband & midwife's support. I am confident in my abilities and I look forward to sharing my story one day! 

post #24 of 48
We are planning another home birth. My previous midwife moved to Florida but said she would come back for this birth but I didn't want to deal with the back and forth of two midwives and the extra cost. I found another great midwife that I really like. I loved being at home. I have no advice on labor pain relief because mine went so fast and thankfully I did not have back labor or anything.

With dd I had a crazy fast 2 hour labor and then 2 hours of pushing so I don't know what to expect with this one. I'm praying for another quick and safe home birth with this little one too. It will be about 5 years in between the births. Hopefully by body will remember even with the time lapse. My parents were in town for the birth of dd and they plan on being at this birth so they can help with dd during the birth.
post #25 of 48
We're planning a second homebirth, as well. I've been a little stressed about this lately, because I discovered recently that the hospital nearest us, which has a great birth center, does not accept homebirth transfers, and in case of emergency we'd have to go to a much farther hospital with a more conventional l&d setup. The distance concerns me somewhat, but my only other options are to transfer care to an OB so I can deliver at the nearby hospital, or go to a birth center, none of which are located conveniently, but most of which are closer to hospitals than we are.

I thnk we are sticking with our original plan, mostly because I would decline most of the standard infant care procedures (vit k, eye ointment, hep b vax, bath, immediate cord clamping... like, everything!) and I don't want to be treated like that "difficult" patient, because it just sets us up for conflict when we should be in a time of peace and love.

As far as labor and birth are concerned, I see it as a scary, painful, wild and animalistic process that I fear, even after having done it 3 times. I have never had the feeling of affirmation of feminine power or connectedness to anything spiritual, etc. I just want to have my baby in the safest way possible, and I don't consider hospitals safe- I consider them necessary for medical emergencies. I've been through two life threatening emergencies related to pregnancy that both required emergency surgery, and I don't "trust my body" or "trust birth," I'm just looking at the odds and for the most of the issues we are likely to face, homebirth with a midwife seems the safest option.
post #26 of 48
Both of my midwives do educate you and allow you to ask as many questions as you want. They also had books and videos to borrow and birth resources for moms. Midwives are very hands on and love making moms feel in control with lots of education.
post #27 of 48
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jennyanydots View Post

As far as labor and birth are concerned, I see it as a scary, painful, wild and animalistic process that I fear, even after having done it 3 times. I have never had the feeling of affirmation of feminine power or connectedness to anything spiritual, etc. I just want to have my baby in the safest way possible, and I don't consider hospitals safe- I consider them necessary for medical emergencies. I've been through two life threatening emergencies related to pregnancy that both required emergency surgery, and I don't "trust my body" or "trust birth," I'm just looking at the odds and for the most of the issues we are likely to face, homebirth with a midwife seems the safest option.

 

It makes me feel comforted to hear you say this!  Even as a lactation consultant, I feel this way about my own births!  I've done it twice, but each time I am petrified of the back labor.  My labor always begins with my water breaking and as soon as it does, it's this wave of fear and dread knowing that the contractions are going to start up and "will I be able to cope this time?"  My contractions don't grow in intensity until transition: they just get closer together, so there is no gradual easing into the fear, it's just THERE and IN MY FACE and makes me worried about my own strength.

 

I love working on Hypnobabies because while I don't have that picture-perfect peaceful bath birth (I am loud and naked and I squeeze my husband's wrists while moaning right into his poor helpless face!), it helps me to cope mentally and to let go of my own significance; to acknowledge that I am not in charge, but I am just relegated to the background like a daughter-in-law cooking a Thanksgiving side dish.  By letting go, I can "get out of the way" of what my body is designed to do and afterwards I do feel empowered, but the empowerment is not my womanly birthright, it's the empowerment of knowing that I am strong enough to relinquish control and let something wiser (my body's instincts) take over.

 

The main reason I choose homebirth with a midwife is because I am an introvert with a strong sense of what I want.  I know I don't want to be hooked up to monitors and belts and be told what to do, but I am not confrontational enough to be argumentative with my caregiver.  I don't want myself or my infant exposed to the superbugs in the hospital, and I don't want to lie on my back to push unless it feels good.  I choose homebirth because laboring in the car on the way to the birth center was the worst 45 minutes of my life and because my labors take care of themselves.  Give me a pool of warm water and someone strong enough to tell me what an awesome job I am doing and I am convinced I can birth anywhere.

post #28 of 48
Quote:
Originally Posted by aidenn View Post
 I don't want myself or my infant exposed to the superbugs in the hospital

yeahthat.gif

post #29 of 48
Aidenn, I like your perspective, and now you've got me interested in hypnobabies. Thanks for saying that, too- I was actually hesitant to post because I didn't want to rain on the happy childbirth parade smile.gif

I've toyed with the idea of getting a doula, but I lean against it for two reasons. First, we don't need the extra expense. We're trying to save now for after the birth when we'll be going down to one income indefinitely, and we're going to have to tighten up. And second, I don't think I'd be comfortable having another person around, especially in my home, when I look and feel like crap and can't be very hospitable. I'm not good at being taken care of, and people fussing over me is very uncomfortable for me. It is hard enough to imagine this with my MWs. Ideally, I'd be left lane with DP until right before the birth, then they'd miraculously appear and help make sure it's all good and safe smile.gif

And I totally agree that hospitals are nasty places I want to stay far, far away from- especially with a new baby!
post #30 of 48

I haven't read all the responses, but I'm sure there's a huge variety! 


I'm planning my second home birth with a CPM. I had a home waterbirth the first time, and will have a pool this time but will see how the moment goes in terms of birthing in the pool.  I loved labor and birth and am looking forward to doing it again!  I hope that DS will be able to be present, but I don't hold any expectations for that...just if it works and he wants to. 

 

Backup plan is local hospital with an OB. I've been doing tandem care so far, but we'll see how that shakes out. 

post #31 of 48
Oh, man, my husband just said yesterday that he doesn't care if I want to have a home birth. I wish he'd told me four months ago, but at least it's good to know for the next!
post #32 of 48

onematchfire, it's never too late to switch gears! Many midwives will take transfers quite late into pregnancy, so if you really want to give birth at home, it's worth checking out your local midwives. 

post #33 of 48
I laughed when a few people said, "isn't the hospital cleaner?".
post #34 of 48
Planning my second home birth... Well sort of. I loved my midwife who birthed my last child at home. She made me feel safe even when I hemorrhaged extremely bad after the placenta delivered. It happened during my first child's birth as well at the hospital and I have to say my hb midwife handled the situation better. I recovered quicker due to her work at the moment. I believe she also prevented my need to transfer to the hospital. So with that in mind I did not want to search out another midwife this time around for my hb.

But here is the catch... She is from right accross the border in MA and I live in RI (USA) and since my last birth the laws have tightened up so that she cannot practice in RI currently. So we can't birth with her at our current house. We are planning a hb at either her house if we go into labor more than 2 weeks behind our due date or if we go into labor more than a week after. Otherwise we are planning on going on a "birthing vacation "as we are calling in to a home my fiancé owns in MA. It is about 2.5 hrs away in traffic or more. If the traffic is good we can drive there in 1.5 hrs.

The other problem is that the house in MA is under major construction at the moment; no interior walls are closed, no bathrooms work , no kitchen etc. We hope to be done by Aug 1 so that we can go up there around Aug 15 to wait for the baby but as every contractor is taking longer than expected I'm not feeling very good about this plan. I think I might end up at my midwife's house, greensad.gif Not my first choice. I would feel much more comfortable in a home of mu own but it's still a much better choice than the hospital for me.

This choice has really tested my conviction to hb and my own fears surrounding my safety as well as my babies during the birth. It would be much easier and closer to just drive to the hospital in this situation but I feel confident that I'm making the right choice and picking the safest place for my baby and myself in the end. But I'm still morning the loss of my perfect hb at home in my own bedroom where I won't have to move from until I heal.orngtongue.gif
post #35 of 48

is anyone of you considering a birth center? 

i read up on it again last night and thought that sounds like a good compromise for me between home birth and hospital birth. but i have trouble finding any info on actual birth centers.. i wonder if insurance laws have changed drastically since the beginning of the 90s (=my main source right now, this book i just started reading) or what? 

 

DF keeps being offended that i don't want a homebirth. he thinks he's got it all figured out about the medical system etc, but seems to be lacking the understanding that i am JUST NOT COMFORTABLE with the idea of birthing at home, far away from a hospital. everytime i try to discuss the whole birthing thing with him, i get this passive resistance from him.. if it was up to him, he'd get me a midwife to birth at home without pain medication and probably with some self-hypnosis instead.

which is all great if you're the type for it, but i'm just not.

post #36 of 48
Quote:
Originally Posted by vc2013 View Post

is anyone of you considering a birth center? 

i read up on it again last night and thought that sounds like a good compromise for me between home birth and hospital birth. but i have trouble finding any info on actual birth centers.. i wonder if insurance laws have changed drastically since the beginning of the 90s (=my main source right now, this book i just started reading) or what? 

 

DF keeps being offended that i don't want a homebirth. he thinks he's got it all figured out about the medical system etc, but seems to be lacking the understanding that i am JUST NOT COMFORTABLE with the idea of birthing at home, far away from a hospital. everytime i try to discuss the whole birthing thing with him, i get this passive resistance from him.. if it was up to him, he'd get me a midwife to birth at home without pain medication and probably with some self-hypnosis instead.

which is all great if you're the type for it, but i'm just not.

 

I'm sorry he's giving you resistance. I strongly believe that this is one of those decisions that should be up to the mother. You need to be where you feel comfortable and safe for birth. I think a birth centre would be a great alternative to meet both of your desires. Definitely look into it. (I'm not sure where you are in California, but I'm pretty sure my friend had a birth centre birth with a midwife a few years ago in the LA area. No idea about insurance or costs, though, sorry.)

post #37 of 48
Quote:
Originally Posted by vc2013 View Post

is anyone of you considering a birth center? 

i read up on it again last night and thought that sounds like a good compromise for me between home birth and hospital birth. but i have trouble finding any info on actual birth centers.. i wonder if insurance laws have changed drastically since the beginning of the 90s (=my main source right now, this book i just started reading) or what?  

 

 

before i found out about the twins, my plan was to birth at the local birth center. it seemed like the perfect compromise to me as well. i kind of wanted a home birth, but my wife was uncomfortable with it and i knew that, after many conversations about all our concerns, that even if she "agreed" to a home birth (which i believe she would, if she thought i felt very strongly), she would still be uncomfortable with so many aspects of it, and that would put me on edge. the birth center is super close to our house. we l-o-v-e-d the midwives who attend births there. our house is pretty chaotic and stressful - two dogs, two cats, a flock of chickens, a teenager and all his accompanying slovenly mess - normally, i love being in the center of the circus and it is a lot of fun, but it would take so much work to make it "birth friendly." and our bathtub sucks! so the birth center seemed like the perfect place to go on a "birthcation" and then we could travel four blocks back to our house. man, just writing about it makes me a little teary. i really grieved the loss of the birth center option. 

 

anyway, google "birth center" + your town, or "free-standing birth center." i don't know where you are located and how far you are willing to travel. it looks like you're in northern california but that's a lot of area. i have a friend in san francisco who birthed at a lovely birth center there. i have another friend 2 hours south who had a home birth because there were no local birth centers. so, location determines a lot.


Edited by mrsandmrs - 6/3/13 at 7:35pm
post #38 of 48

but about the original question - we are planning a natural-ish hospital birth of our twins. we will either have our OB or whatever midwife is on call (one of three options), depending on what time we go into labor. if the babies are positioned right, and i'm determined that they will be, dammit, we are going to labor and deliver in a regular L&D room with a tub. we're not allowed to deliver in the tub, but allegedly i can labor in it. there are all kinds of doctors who will make you deliver twins in the OR, so this is a pretty sweet deal. we hired a doula, who is also in school for midwifery. she has 20 years of birth work experience, which is like 700 births more experience than i have. she has worked with the OB/midwife practice many times, gone to a bunch of twin births, and spent a lot of time at births at the specific hospital where we are birthing. my preference would be to avoid pain medications, but especially if we have to invert the second baby, maybe my stance against pain medications is not that strong in this context. i also hope that they will be amenable to my totally reasonable requests of immediate skin-to-skin and delayed cord clamping - very contentious practices in twin births, of course.

 

we're taking a birth class taught by our doula, which is interesting but really mostly important to me so we can befriend parents who have babies the same age as ours. we're reading a bunch of books, too. although, for some reason, i have a hard time getting much reading done. it's like i have parasites sucking my brains out. 

post #39 of 48

vc2013 - I delivered my first child (around 4 years ago) at a free-standing birth center.  It was a great choice for me at the time because I wasn't confident enough that I could deliver at home, and I wanted the safety net of a hospital nearby.  Insurance is middle-ground for birth centers.  Remember, most insurances have three tiers of payment coverage: in-network, out-of-network, and not covered.

 

With my insurance plan at the time, it was covered as an out-of-network coverage, but that's because Florida law mandates that a CPM be covered by all insurances (but not necessarily a homebirth; more on that in a second).  So, insurances want to pay the least amount possible, so they say "we cover it, only because we HAVE to, so it's an out-of-network benefit.  With DD2, we knew we wanted a homebirth, and insurances have the right to not cover a homebirth AT ALL, so we paid out of pocket for the whole thing.  With this birth, I have health insurance, and Medicaid as a secondary.  My insurance will not cover a homebirth (but they would cover a birth center birth on the out-of-network rate as mentioned before).  However, Medicaid SHOULD kick in for anything not covered by my insurance.  So we have fingers crossed that payment works out as anticipated and our insurance rejects our claim, leaving us free to file for Medicaid for the homebirth.

 

However, even if we HAD to pay out of pocket for our homebirth, it would still be cheaper than birthing in a hospital.  Our current plan has a $3000 deductible and we pay 20% coinsurance after that.  So, if a vaginal hospital birth costs ~$10,000, it'd cost me about $4600 to birth at the hospital, and about $4000 to birth at home paid out of pocket.  Even if the costs were closer, the benefits to birthing at home (for the type of birth I tend to have) grossly outweigh the alternatives.

 

TL;DR: They most likely cover a free-standing birth center, depending on your state laws.  You may also have to fight the insurance company for coverage.  Unless you have ridiculously low copays on your insurance, a homebirth is cheaper or negligible in cost difference, IMO.

post #40 of 48
Quote:
Originally Posted by vc2013 View Post

is anyone of you considering a birth center? 

i read up on it again last night and thought that sounds like a good compromise for me between home birth and hospital birth. but i have trouble finding any info on actual birth centers.. i wonder if insurance laws have changed drastically since the beginning of the 90s (=my main source right now, this book i just started reading) or what? 

 

DF keeps being offended that i don't want a homebirth. he thinks he's got it all figured out about the medical system etc, but seems to be lacking the understanding that i am JUST NOT COMFORTABLE with the idea of birthing at home, far away from a hospital. everytime i try to discuss the whole birthing thing with him, i get this passive resistance from him.. if it was up to him, he'd get me a midwife to birth at home without pain medication and probably with some self-hypnosis instead.

which is all great if you're the type for it, but i'm just not.


http://www.birthcenteraccreditation.org/find-accredited-birth-centers/

The birth center I'm going with is on this list. I don't know how much stock you put into this, it seemed legit to me to have a third party standard for level of service and care.

Our situation sounds reversed from yours: DH was the one who wanted to go to a hospital and I'd always had my eye on this place. After attending the orientation he felt much more at ease with my choice since all three midwives here are CNM's so they have a medical background.

A couple of other factors work in our favor as well: the birth center is a 10 min drive from our house, the nearest hospital to the birth center is less than 15 minutes.

I had looked into the final cost of vaginal delivery at a hospital vs birth center and while the hospital would probably be cheaper by about $1000 because of insurance, ultimately I felt I would be more comfortable, less stressed out etc. at the birth center and thus likely to be at a lower risk for complications.

So I plan on giving birth there. I'm leaning towards the hypnosis class they offer rather than the "traditional" class, mostly because I'm interested in learning techniques to stay focused and calm.

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