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Queer Conceptions: June 2013 - Page 2

post #21 of 131

lovestreet, boy so do I! and thanks!!! I love the picture of the swimmers in the seatbelt!!! It's precious cargo! Good luck with inseam!


loving, Congrats! Have a H&H 9 months! What an awesome story!!!


Lizbian, I'm trying to for sure. thanks! Are you doing IVF this month?


LEa, Sorry that things were so hard on you and DP. Take the time you two both need and give it a go when you're both ready. Hugs


AFM, Not too much..mye RX for mye clomid is ready according to walgreens automated lady.I still can't decide if I want the trigger or not. Maybe more so since it'll be at home..? I don't know!

post #22 of 131
lovingthanks for sharing your awesome story! Congrats!
post #23 of 131

fmorris It depends on timing. If I'm not teaching then yes but need at least 5 days free to travel to Denmark, do the extraction & put back in 3 days later. It's all very tight either way but keeping FX'd. Otherwise it'll be July x

post #24 of 131

Hi! My name is Tavi and I'm happily partnered and blissfully in love with my sweetheart, L. He identifies as trans and genderqueer. We have three children (two eleven year olds and our five year old) and are seriously talking about another baby. It's alternately exhilarating and terrifying. We've been together for three years so we've never gone through a pregnancy together...


I've got a new name on here but I've been on Mothering for several years as NikkiTwist. My Dec. 07 DDC was one of the best parts of my pregnancy. I definitely want to have a home birth though my partner is more drawn to the birthing center.


Right now, we're discussing donors. We were both married to men with our first children and I had our five year old with my ex-wife with the help of a known donor (one of my best friends). He lives in Indiana and we now live in Oregon so we aren't planning on using him.


Ideally, we would love to use one of my partners male cousins as our donor so that the baby would be biologically related to all of us. Plus, while my partners family is super inclusive and supportive, we think it would be helpful for them to have a bio connection to the baby.


AND I had hyperemesis gravidarum with both children I carried. SO that is terrifying to think about going through again.


So many feelings! I just wanted to introduce myself and join the group.


We are definitely still just in planning stage. We will be for a few months but I'm hoping to start trying this summer....biggrinbounce.gif

post #25 of 131

Welcome Tavi!


Thanks escher and Heart n Bones -- good luck to you Heart!!

post #26 of 131
welcome Tavi!. Sounds like a lot to consider. hope the decision making proves easy!

I'm feeling really crampy today. Its hard not to overdo it at work, especially now that the heat has set in. I work on a farm - outside mostly, lots of heavy lifting. I love it, but I'm worried about how it will be once I do get pregnant. Anyone else have a physically demanding job?
post #27 of 131
Mama: your clinic sounds terrible! We are at an expensive clinic, paying for iui out of pocket and it is $350 each! I also wouldn't want anyone else to order the sperm, I want to do it myself. I guess you have to stay with them?

Loving: congratulations! What exciting news!

Tavi: welcome and happy planning #4! Wow!

Lea: I hope you recover quickly emotionally, physically and financially! Enjoy the break!

Heart n bones and the rest of us in the 2ww good luck! I am halfway through and it is awful!
post #28 of 131
Thread Starter 

Hello Tavi Welcome.gif It is great to have such an experienced parent in our TTC group.


Liz - do you want to be moved?



TWW people - how are you all doing? When is the great stick peeing going to start for everyone?



afm - I had a thyroid US and gave several vials of blood at the RE yesterday and waiting for results til next thursday. We're testing the usual stuff and some rare special anti-body markers that might influence TTC success. The doc was super nice and helpful, she really encouraged me that it is possible to achieve a pregnancy hopefully soon. Told me that she was fine having a baby at 39, so I shouldn't worry so much abut my age. One advice that she had was to switch the donor after being unsucessful a couple of times, because sometimes some immune markers of 2 people just don't work well together even if they are otherwise healthy and fertile.

I didn't think to tell her I was in a lesbian relationship, not mentioning any reasons for why we're doing IUIs, just explaining our journey so far. She then just assumed my partner is infertile and well, she doesn't have any sperm, does she winky.gif and I ended up not correcting her assumption. I didn't plan on this, but everything happened so quickly. It goes against my activist heart but it has a benefit; no interference with the insurance coverage. Lesbian and unmarried straight couple fertility coverage is horribly unjust over here, giving free IUI and IVF to straight married couples but not anyone else.


On a positive note - the German Supreme Court stroke down the second last inequality left over in our same-sex-marriage law. We got civil unions/life partnerships 12 years ago with a seperate law and slowly fought for all the federal benefits of mostly tax breaks, immigration and adoption over the years in the Courts. Today it was decided that we get complete income tax benefits for joint tax filings, ending any financial disadvantages. The final only issue left is same-sex parent adoption, where idiotically right now 1 parent has to apply and adopt and the do another adoption later for the partner, which leaves kids less protected for a while and increases costs and barriers. But in general a good development. I am sure that soon, we will get rid of this "seperate but equal" situation of having two institutions (marriage for straights and life partneships for queers) who share the exact same rights and benefits and simply open up marriage like any other sane country.

post #29 of 131

Tavi welcome and I'm impressed that you're thinking of trying again with so many already.


heartnbones I can see why that would be a worry for you. I'm lucky that I don't have to lift too much (apart from at the gym) but as far as work goes we're OK. The only lifting I might have to do is when we move house if I'm pregnant. xx


BBy good job on being half way through - it's a tough time!!!


Friederike I'm good where I am right now ta, will let you know if I need to change xx Fantastic about the changes to the laws. Have you ladies all heard about gay marriage getting through its second reading in the UK? it was a bit of a surprise given the overwhelmingly old & bigoted House of Lords but they surprised everyone. Hopefully we can get married from summer next year. Next stop trying to get something like that passed where I live as we can't do anything at the moment, not even second parent adoption which sucks.


Been a bit stressed - flat stuff but trying not to let it get to me. DW is yelling at everyone for a change, playing bad cop to my good cop and it's great she's really been quite protective of my stress levels. Had sore boobs for almost a week so thinking AF may be just around the corner. If it comes it has to be tomorrow or next Friday to work for IVF but it'll probably be smack bang in the middle knowing my luck!


A friend of mine has just told me she's 5 weeks pregnant. She bet we they'd be pregnant first but since she has sperm on tap it's no surprise she is eyesroll.gif Just hoping we won't be too far behind.

post #30 of 131
Welcome Tavi!

Bby- yeah I agree- very expensive. What's worse is they won't clarify what the "package" includes, except that sperm is separate. Too bad that we don't have many options here because I live in the suburbs.

So today is CD12 for me, and my follies are only 14mm, even with the Femara. If they're not 18mm by Monday, they may cancel this cycle and bring on AF. I'm very sad that my body seems to not be responding to the drugs, and I'm starting to jump to conclusions.

Anyway, hope everyone is well!
post #31 of 131

oh mama I'm sorry to hear that but if they grow 2mm a day they should make it - FX for you xxxx

post #32 of 131
Hi mamaetmaman, I just want to echo what lizbian said: At a growth rate of 2mm/day, which is *totally* feasible, you'll easily have those follies at 22mm by Monday! The cycle I got pregnant, my follicle was 18mm on CD14, then 22mm on CD16, and we had the IUI the next day. You're right on track!
post #33 of 131

mamaetmaman : I echo what granite said.  Also, if you want to feel like you're *doing* something about it (this helps me in situations where I really have no control), you could drink lots of warm beverages (avoid iced drinks and ice cream and cold foods in general), and apply a heating pad to your belly.  My friend who is an acupuncturist suggested this to me.  My follies grew like little champs.    The reproductive system like to be warm.  :-)  I sort of imagined I was like a little egg incubator.  LOL!  Good luck! You've got plenty of time for those follies to do what they do! Try not to worry!

post #34 of 131
Be an incubator! Exactly! Also, breast massage... And of course, what I always suggest: Acupuncture, acupuncture, acupuncture... Grow, follies, grow!
post #35 of 131

Hi, it's been a crazy busy week, but I'm having a blast with my sister. She goes back on Sunday greensad.gif Wish I could convince her to move back here. 


I will probably miss some folks but welcome back and good luck lovestreet and congrats lovingisliving, very exciting for both of you


Good luck to everyone in the TWW! I'm sending lots of positive vibes out there for ya.


Tavi: that's really exciting and I'm sure overwhelming to consider and decide. We also aren't trying until later this summer (august) 


Friederike: That's great news, I heard about it on the news this week. Small and big steps are happening all over the world, it gives me a lot of hope for the future, I followed the news in the UK as well Liz.


I don't have suggestions like the others mamaetmaman (such great advice everyone I will remember it) but I'm hoping it all works out for you this cycle. Incubate those follies!


AFM: we have our appointment at the fertility center on Monday. I'm super nervous for no reason at all. I just hope we find out what services they offer and how much they will cost us if we decide to go that route. My cycle continues to be confusing, day 23 and no temp spike yet. Temping the the desert didn't help anything either or running out of fertility monitor sticks. Basically tracking this cycle has been no help at all, just adds to the confusion. Here's to hoping next month gives us better info.

post #36 of 131

Thank you ALL for the support!  So far the baby dust is working joy.gif My HCG levels went from 350-something to 1149 three days later to 13,480 a week later.  I'll have my levels tested again this coming Tuesday and our first ultrasound on Thursday!  Is this really happening?!  Yes...my boobs hurt so bad! Haha. 



Friederike: Please add me to May graduates thumb.gif

post #37 of 131

loving: Those are fantastic numbers! Hooray for sore boobs!  LOL

post #38 of 131
thank you everyone for all of your support and advice! Went in for BW and U/S today (CD14), and I have one follie that is 18mm! I followed your advice and basically wore a heating pad on my belly for 2 days, and had a chiropractic treatment and acupuncture yesterday!

They are just waiting on my BW now to see what my estrogen levels are at. I have another BW and U/S tomorrow morning in case I'm not surging yet. Last time we monitored, I was naturally surging when my follicle was 19mm.
We're getting close to go-time!

Last Sunday I played my regular league game (hockey) and took the end of a stick to my belly. It hurt for days and I have a bruise from it still. I decided after that I would sit out the next few games until either AF comes or I realize I need to turn in my jersey for the season wink1.gif let's hope for the latter!

Loving- awesome HCG!!!

How is everyone's TWW going?

Hugs all!
post #39 of 131

Loving - Congratulations!!  How wonderful and exciting!

Mama - Good luck with the follies-- grow, follies, grow!


Welcome, Tavi!!


Friederike - Oh, that sucks that the health care system puts you in the position to have to lie.  But, hell, even though it would piss me off, I would still probably do it if it meant free help conceiving!  Then go home to my lovely partner and move on with our fabulous life.  Good luck to you.


I think I'm missing some people, but I need to as you all a question about pain medicine.  So, today is our big day!  Our first try at an at-home IUI.  And I've got a splitting headache.  I am prone to these anyway-- like at my last period, I had a migraine for almost 5 days solid.  I got a new prescription, but I am really reluctant to try that today.  Would it be okay for me to take acetaminophen or ibuprofen, do you think??

Other than that, we should be all set up.  My OPK test was super dark yesterday morning at 7:30am, and faded throughout the day.  I had a couple stabby cramps in my left ovary area at 12:30am last night.  We have our speculum, syringe, catheter, head lamp, and one vial of swimmers in a tank that still has about 6 days left.  :-)
I'm super excited and DP is pretty nervous.  I think she's going to be great!!  She's very meticulous in her research, so I think she read too many horror stories.  But I think we will be fine.

So whattaya think?  Headache medicine, anyone?  I'd rather get a massage, of course, but I'm not sure if I can get that in today.  Thank you!!

post #40 of 131
Thread Starter 
Sure, some doctors even recommend taking Ibuprofen in advance for the procedure if the patient feels pain easily. Both meds should be totally safe, you can even take them during pregnancy. What is your concern about?
Good luck with the IUI. All of you who do them yourself are my heroes, I wouldn't be able to do this simply for nerves. Lots of baby dust!!!
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