June 2013 Chit Chat - Page 12
Funny Amanda! Thats exactly how I feel.
Yes it was the Color Run. The emphasis of it is not fitness or running- its having fun. Its not even timed, its all about getting colorful and just having an awesome time! It was really great, and I would say that if you ever have the chance- DO IT. And bring ALL the kids.
They transferred MIL to rehab today where she'll be for about three weeks. She's in good spirits right now, so that makes us all happy.
I think I have a cold of some sort. Lower back pain, which is unusual for me, even in pregnancy, dull body aches, headache, zero appetite, burning up and freezing at the same time, super lethargic. I've literally been in bed all day.
Hi ladies. I just wanted to poke my head in and offer an apology. I should have never broken the bond of trust that we have here, and I regret it very much. It was a really stupid thing to do. Those of you who know me in real life know that I am a person of character and integrity, and unfortunately what happened a few months ago does not reflect that. I don't have an excuse. I have learned from my mistake. I am so sorry to those who my words have hurt. I could have handled any concern with more tact, and I should have kept any opinions I had to myself. I am sorry that I made the choices that I did. I didn't "infiltrate" this group in order to drag everyone's business to other sites- I joined this group for community and I have made wonderful friends here. We don't all see eye to eye and that's okay. I won't be back to post and I don't read along anymore, but I just wanted to extend a peace offering. Hope you're all doing well- I think of many of you often.
Nicole, so sorry about you MIL's stroke, I hope she is able to recover well.
A color run looks like so much fun. I'd like to start running but not enough to actually start. And geocaching sounds like a lot of fun too.
I have a situation that I would love to hear your thoughts on:
So J is in a daycare that I've been overall happy with. It's super close to work and he is learning a lot. Pus his teachers have been loving and attentive. He just graduated up to the next classroom of 18 mos to 2 years. Now here's the situation- they plan to take the kids on "field trips" to such places as 7-11 for slurpees, for frozen yogurt, to a flower shop and other food related places. Some parents have complained so they modified some of food items to make it "healthier" like a sugar free slurpee. Not only that but we are talking about a busy city area, that I don't believe to be the safest. I'm sure they will do everything in their power to keep the kids safe but it's really not enough for me. I don't really object to the kids having a little treat ( frozen yogurt= ok, slurpee is not ok). I don't really see the point in taking these field trips at all and I am quite uncomfortable with the whole situation. So at this point I have opted not to give my permission so he will have to visit another class while they go on these little jaunts. The teachers have been pretty supportive, DH completely disagrees with me and thinks J should be able to go. I know I have to what I feel is right, but it's hard to be standing out there feeling on my own. What would you all do? Oh and they offered for me to come along but that's not really feasible since I'm working during that time.
J, that was very well said.
Ash, could you please stop being so darn adorable?!
Joanie, it has been quiet! For my part, I’ve been out of the house at work/daycare/commute from 7:30-6 everyday, then family stuff, then I study until 10 or 10:30, then I drink wine until 11:30 to relax and try to forget that I am miserable! So kinda busy.
Daycare: More info, please! How are they getting to these places? Walking trips? Or are they actually driving? Is the area actually unsafe, or just unfamiliar? Would you feel better if you went to visit it on your own first? A flower shop and out for frozen yogurt would be okay with me. It breaks up the monotony, gives the kids a new experience or treat. I would not give permission for slurpees at the 7-11. I’d have Jasper stay with another class for that one. Same way if they wanted to go for hot dogs and cotton candy! There is no point in that. Maybe one field trip for a semi-healthy treat. The others should be for learning/experiences. If they are driving, what is that situation like?? They have proper car seats for everyone? How many adults are going?
If you don’t feel comfortable, don’t send him. At this age, he’ll just be taking a field trip to another room – I doubt he will care much! Are you in a position to suggest some alternative field trips? Jasper’s class takes weekly “field trips.” However, it is on a college campus, so the trips are either walking to a nearby park/nature preserve or walking to the student center lawn. Very safe area, no through traffic, etc. Could you suggest a park field trip?
Amber, 7-11 does sound like a strange one. I can really understand that kids this age LOVE to get out, and I would be cool with my kid going out every day in a supervised group. I see daycare kids in my travels a lot. Mostly 3-4 year olds. They are usually dressed in matching shirts, in 6 seat wagons or strollers or holding on to a jump rope with an adult at each end. I've never seen an escapee (besides myself! My cousin and I ran away and hid [on campus] to upset the teachers. We only managed that once.). I I take Shay out in large groups often and he's very happy to stay with the group despite his general non-compliance at home, so that colors my view a bit. All that said, we don't see kids at stores. We see them at museums, zoo, parks and library story time.
Amanda, you sound busy as hell.
Shay has decided that he loves toys. He will carry around a ball, a cup, a car and a piggy bank for long spans of time. Then he will attempt to nurse while holding all those toys. yeesh.
Field trips: I pretty much agree with the above. 7-11 is a weird field trip, but the others I would probably be fine with. I am baby sitting a few days a week while I'm off on summer break and getting out for a little while as often as possible really helps move the day along. We had no plans to get out today and the kids have been driving me bonkers. I am thinking a park trip is going to be in order after nap time today. Thankfully, tomorrow I only have my kiddos!
This summer is seriously flying by, but I have to say DH and I have been making the most of it. Next month, I must start thinking about my classroom again. We are going on a float trip with some friends in a couple of weeks, then it's time to start acting like an adult again.
We went out on a limb yesterday and contacted a new real estate agent. We still have only one house in mind, so we thought maybe if we reach out to the agent who is handling it, guaranteeing she gets the full commission on it... Maybe she will be more motivated to make the sale happen. We spoke with her last night and she sounded pretty excited about the possibility of getting us into the house very soon. She was going to chat with the sellers and get back in touch with us sometime today. I am waiting on pins and needles! If she can get them to come down just a little more from where they were, we could be signing papers on the house right now. We looked at a house the other day that was really a strong possibility, but we ultimately keep coming back to this one house. We've heard some rumors about the possibility of the current renters buying it come the end of the summer, so it got us very motivated to make something happen now. Fingers crossed!
Do you guys think it is unreasonable to expect dh to do the majority of the household stuff and have something (even just salad) we can eat for dinner 2-3x per week? Like I said, I'm out of the house from 7:30-6 everyday. So is Jasper, so there isn't really childcare. Dh is working from home, but he is definitely not working for 10-11 hours!! Am I crazy to think that just an hour a day could keep the house looking halfway decent?? And that I shouldn't get a call on my way home asking what is for dinner?
Amber- Im kind of with you. I dont see the point of those field trips- they arent harboring any skills or teaching anything. Why go? To consume absolute crap in a large group? 7-11? I wouldnt let my kid go either.
Amanda- you sound really busy! Your crazy. I would need Xanax.
My DS leaves for 6 weeks in a few days, and Im working on weaning B. I have to have her weaned by September, in case I have to start hormone replacement therapy. Boo. We have just been having a ton of family time.
I cross posted with Amanada and Mal.
Mal- that sounds really exciting! In our area, buying is such a great choice right now. Good luck!
Amanda that sounds like a serious double standard. We would be having a serious talk about division of responsibility. You should not have to work the most, commute the most, and do most household work.
Thanks, this is really helpful. I've been way over tired so that's increased my anxiety. So, they would be walking to the various places in those multi kid strollers and the kids are not allowed to get out. They go out for rides/walks in the park and I'm ok with that but these trips would involve crossing major busy streets and going through what appears to me to be less nice neighborhoods. I am planning on walking to some of the places on my own lunch break before a make my final decision.
Mal-that's really exciting.
Amanda-I think you are being completely reasonable. I would definitely have a talk with DH.
Hmmm…. So they are just being pushed around? That doesn’t make a ton of sense. I say just let him do what you are comfortable with. Your reservations are totally valid.
Just to clarify, dh is doing a lot of the household work right now… I’ve been pushing him gradually, plus we’ve been in counseling. I just feel like the level of help I need is unreasonable to him. I respect the fact that he has work to do while he is at home, but I also think he needs to be doing the majority of the house stuff. He is there; I am not. He will sweep and do the dishes. If I ask him directly to do something (pick up groceries on a list I made, for example) he will do that. But he’s not going to wash the sheets, clean the bathroom, empty the trash cans, mop, dust, etc etc etc. I feel like I can’t give him a list of all of these things… like that would be bitchy. So that’s tough. I also feel like there should be food in the house when I get home. He doesn’t have to turn into a gourmet chef, but he can make sure we have milk and fruit and throw together some spaghetti. 6:30 is not the time to go grocery shopping, IMO. I just feel like I have a list a mile long and it is totally over the top…
I’m willing to do my share on the weekends, I do dishes on the weeknights, I will cook on the weekends… I take care of all the animals, I do all the scheduling and family arrangements, we split childcare when we are both home. And, let’s just be frank, I’m the primary earner now. Our health insurance, retirement, and daycare all come from my job. And my commute is long and I am studying so that I can move up because (bitch alert) I know I need to be responsible for our family’s long term financial security. Can you feel the resentment?? Ha.
My point/question is, would you feel it is out of line to just say, “This is exactly what I need you to do for me to be happy at home” and hand him a list/schedule?? Because I don’t know what else to do. And I seriously think paying someone to clean the house (his suggestion) is absolutely ridiculous when he is here all day!
Amanda, we have a list. I get upset about lack of help and she gets upset that I have all these uncommunicated expectations (um, yeah, it seems like anyone with eyes can tell these things need to be done!). Where are your girls during the day? Are they home or away?
I made a list after I lost if a couple times in the same month. It doesn't include things like sheet washing, mopping, cleaning the toilet or tub. All those things still fall to me, but having help has been great.
Oh, and I can't stand the "what's for dinner" question when I'm not even home. Especially from an adult.
The girls are in and out. They were all at my parents’ last week. This we, dd2 is at camp, dsd is a driver’s ed, and I’ve made plans to occupy dd1. But when they are home, we are giving them jobs. We set up a white board in the kitchen for that. Uncommunicated expectations sound very familiar. I’m the master of getting irritated about things but not expressing what they are because I feel too demanding. I think dh feels like I am always disappointed in him and that I am impossible to please. I feel like I am just asking him to do basic things that everyone should do. Just a different point of view, I guess… Maybe I will do a checklist of things that need to be done each week. Like a list for BOTH of us, so it’s not so pushy.
I am slacking off at work today. (Obviously!) I have had the busiest week so far, so I’m relaxing now. Today, I spent the entire morning brushing up on quantitative methods and practicing using my new calculator. And I’m going to leave early. They are so lucky to have me!! Lol.