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June 2013 Chit Chat - Page 13

post #241 of 336

So he's not taking care of them, that was my question, I suppose. There's a world of difference between a toddler and school aged kids, but they still may contribute.


I know what you mean about bringing it up sounds like nagging, but things not happening makes you annoyed. I don't know where the balance lies. Does Jasper have any new words? How is all that going?

post #242 of 336
Take care, J. I don't know why the emoticon options don't show up on my work computer... but anyway, *insert peace symbol here* hehe
post #243 of 336

Yeah, I would say the child care load is negligible.


Jasper’s daycare teachers say that he is babbling a lot more. They also say that he says things that sound like words sometimes… they aren’t able to identify the words, though! Yesterday, when I made a “muah” sound when giving him a kiss, he made the sound back. He also waved at me this morning when I dropped him off and tried to blow a kiss. He hasn’t done either since he was 13 months, maybe? He also will copy a sound that dh makes: when dh says “hey there,” J will mimic the tone back. It’s so weird, though… like I just can’t figure out what is preventing him from making the real sounds! He can copy the style and tone sometimes, but not the sounds. He is still barking though, so there’s that. Apparently saying “nana” for banana was short lived- haven’t heard it in a week.


Starting speech therapy has been delayed, which is annoying. We finally start July 2 and have a weekly spot reserved from then on. 

post #244 of 336
Amanda, your frustrations are soooo valid. I'm sorry you're not the happiest with your situation, but I am selfishly glad to know I'm not the only one with a work schedule like that! I am gone on average from 7:45-6:00 on weekdays too with my commute. DH shortly realized after a few weeks into me working like this that if he and Sora were going to eat dinner at a reasonable time, he would have to be the one to cook it. He makes dinner at least 4 nights a week now. That gesture alone has made a world of difference between us. I hope you can talk your DH into doing the same. I would be so resentful if my DH was working from home during the day without kids around and didn't have food on the table for me when I got home! SO mad. Is your DH on dropoff/pickup duty for daycare? That's another thing I wouldn't be able to handle with my already long days... My DH drops Sora off at daycare and picks her up before I'm home. He generally has dishes done a few times a week, but we both tend to let the majority of messes go (including toys scattered everywhere) until the weekend. I do major house cleaning myself because our tradeoff is that he does the yardwork. It works for us. Btw, I always praise my DH for the little things since A) I am genuinely grateful and B) I know he thrives on feeling appreciated. I think he secretly likes having more tasks to do now. He will do anything off of a list, too. I email him grocery lists from work. LOL. Life has been better since I got over my insecurities about asking him to take things off of my plate!
post #245 of 336
Thread Starter 

My goodness a bunch of stuff is going on after that lull!


Mal- very exciting about the house!  Do you have a link to share with us?  Keep us posted!


Ash- wow on the surgery date and wow on the weaning!  I can't imagine all the emotions you're feeling about these two things.  How is the weaning going?  Are you doing a "don't offer, don't refuse" method or something more immediate?


Amanda- you are super busy!  Like crazy busy!  And I know you do a bunch of stuff with your dd's girl scouts on top of it all!  My hat is off to you!  And your expectations of your dh are totally valid.  If I recall correctly, he's doing some sort of start up business from  home?  I'm sure he could be pulling his weight more around the house if you are the primary breadwinner and provider of benefits.  I guess, if it were me, I would start with a sit down talk about how to balance the household- how you can work together to find a solution that satisfies all members of the family and results in a cleaner and smoother functioning home.  I think that food is a huge deal.  Perhaps you guys could set up a food system where you rotate certain meals throughout the month and go shopping for those meals in bulk every 2 weeks or so and then only need to supplement with fresh produce each week.  If the meal plan is made then the lists can be made and he can shop for everything and at the VERY least start meals before you get home.  The older kids could help with this, too.  Larger portions can be made and frozen for easy re-heating, too.  Getting the shopping entirely off your plate as well as some or most of the food prep, I think, is totally reasonable if you are working out of the home until 6:30.  But if he doesn't want to deal with the shopping and meal prep and you're okay doing shopping on the weekend, then I think he needs to take over the cleaning and decluttering of the house.  And the older kids can help there as well. I had several chores growing up including dusting, emptying garbage cans, taking out the recycling, and mopping certain floors.  Really, it seems to me one of these two major things needs to be taken out of your hands.  In our house, I chose cleaning.  Dh still does the shopping and most of the meal prep, but I do all the cleaning, including all the dishes, emptying the dish drainer and dishwasher, etc.    Now that it's garden season, I'm providing food (via my work in the garden) and prepping that food as well (like fresh salads from garden produce).   Anyway, I would totally have a sit down talk to work this out before resentment builds on top of things not getting done.  Let us know how you proceed!


Amber- That's just weird.  Why would you take toddlers to 7-11?!  I totally get taking them to parks or other areas where they could play.  I get taking slightly older kids to a treat every now and then.  But toddlers?  No.  I completely agree with you and your reservations.  I know at ds1's preschool, they took the kids on a rope line (each kid holds a loop on the rope) when they walked to the park.  It seemed safe enough.  Strollers seem even safer.  That wouldn't be my issue.  My issue would be the destination.  I would totally talk to the teachers and see if we couldn't work together to brainstorm appropriate outing locations.  Let us know how it goes!


J- thanks for popping in with your message.  I have missed your voice in this group. I really appreciate your words and would like you to know that, for myself, I welcome you back to the group if you'd like to start posting again in the spirit of your message.  I'd love to hear from Katie as well!

post #246 of 336

I had some responses...then Amanda said math things and my head just exploded, so...


It sounds like perhaps the tubes have helped Jasper quite a bit, huh?  He seems like he is progressing again, even if he is behind.  Its progress, dont get discouraged!!


About weaning and surgery- yes I am having some feelings.  Not big ones.  I was wanting to wean this summer anyways but realistically I probably wouldnt have, this just motivates me.  I am nursing once in the morning and once before bed.  We have a good 2.5 months to make it gradual, so I dont want to to do all or nothing.  She just potty learned, and I dont want a regression.


Would it be weird to ask them if I can have my uterus?  lol.gif  I grew some people in there.  It was once important to me.  Im both sad and relieved to see it go.

post #247 of 336
Ash, you crack me up. I'll be honest, I'd totally be interested in seeing my uterus if it was surgically removed, too! Keeping it is a different matter..... LOL. Will you have to take hormonal supplements of some sort after your uterus is removed?
post #248 of 336
Jaime, here is a link to the house. The kitchen is butt ugly, but we have plans to open up the wall between the kitchen and living room and ripping out those terrible cabinets. Luckily my brother is a contractor and DH builds custom cabinets with the help of a friend who works for a place that builds and installs custom cabinets. Bartering goes a long way here! It's listed as 3 bedroom, but has another two large bedrooms in the basement, along with the huge family room and storage area.
post #249 of 336
In other news, I've gotten way too many papercuts this week. What gives? A coworker told me it means my hands are dry. They don't seem drier than usual. This SUCKS. I know I know, papercuts are no big deal, right? Well when you're shuffling papers around for 9 hours a day, it tends to hinder you... And another thing--- I should invest in the stock of paper companies because my industry sure uses a crapload of paper. Thank God we recycle. I feel like I'm killing forests on a daily basis. Horrible, right? But what can ya do..... It's the nature of accounting..... we computerize as much as possible but still can't get away from the need for hard copies!
post #250 of 336
Omg Joanie, I know exactly what you mean!! We go through the most unbelievable amount of paper at my office. And everyone doesn't recycle! You have to take the initiative.

Oh, I do daycare drop off and pick up. The daycare is near my work.
post #251 of 336
Originally Posted by birdhappy85 View Post

Ash, you crack me up. I'll be honest, I'd totally be interested in seeing my uterus if it was surgically removed, too! Keeping it is a different matter..... LOL. Will you have to take hormonal supplements of some sort after your uterus is removed?

It depends. When my biopsy results come back we will see what they say, and what my ultrasound later this month looks like before its decided if I keep my ovaries.

I would totally keep it in a jar like a creepy weirdo. But...bodies And organs and blood and stuff have always been my thing.
post #252 of 336
Why wouldn't they let you keep it? Hahaha.
post #253 of 336

J - So nice to hear from you.  I agree with Jaimee that I would love to have you posting again.


Mal - I had my fingers crossed that the realtor.com listing would be for MY house that I am trying to sell.  Sob.  Anyway, seems like it will be a great, spacious home for you with lots of potential.


Amanda - Tell your DH, "Happy wife = happy life", and then give him a list of chores!  Okay, not really...but sort of!  This would drive me crazy.  For meals, we have assigned each day of the week with a certain type of food.  Like, Monday is soup day, Tuesday is pasta day, Wednesday is salad day, etc., etc.  It narrows down the options from "what should we have for dinner out of all the endless dinner options?" to "what kind of soup can I whip together?".   It also helps with the grocery shopping.  Also, I would figure that whatever his commute time would be should now be devoted to housework and errands.  That should still leave him with a good amount of time to work.  It would force him to be more organized with his time, which may help him be more productive and successful. 


Ash - My dad had gallstones (so gross) removed when I was a kid and he brought them home from the hospital.  These two disgusting stones of bile and cholesterol fascinated my brother and me for endless hours.  I can't imagine how cool a whole uterus would have been!!!!!!

post #254 of 336
I suppose I missed something? Can I blame the prego brain? Haha. I have no idea why you're parting with your uterus, Ash... =/
post #255 of 336
Anthia, spacious is definitely the word! I can walk down the hallway with my arms spread all the way out and not touch the walls. For some reason, that feels very liberating! It seems like every other house we've seen has short ceilings, small rooms and narrow hallways. I feel claustrophobic in them. Not so in this house!
post #256 of 336
Feeling a little Stressed.... My inlaws want us to fly out to Toronto in the middle of July ... I have never traveled with a baby before, and also not done a 4.5 hour flight with a kiddo... I know we have to take the carseat across the country because we need it when my inlaws pick us up at the airport and for the duration of our visit. Umm... I don't have a lightweight stroller, can't afford one either... Ours is too bulky to take and I am concerned that we won't get by with just the carrier (Eli isn't crazy about it anymore)... Any suggestions? We are planning to go to Canada's wonderland and I really thnk we do need a stroller... I saw a good stroller for sale on babiesrus but I don't have $90 to spend. (This trip was supposed to happen at the end of October but got move up ahead unexpectedly and I am feeling nervous).
Edited by Autumnshades - 6/20/13 at 11:12pm
post #257 of 336
Sonja, there are strollers and carseats in Toronto. When we've flown to see my dad, he has borrowed a carseat from a friend. How big a stroller is too bulky? Here you can gate check a double. And a stroller can help you move your bags around. If you'll be driven everywhere, you may not need a stroller. If you're comfortable with strange carseats and strollers, put your in laws to work finding one (cousin and co-workers often have spares). Otherwise, snacks, small toys and an empty water bottle go in my bag. Easy on/off shoes. I don't know if y'all have the same bizarre security up there, do those last two may be silly.
post #258 of 336
Thread Starter 

Ash... lol.gif  Give it a try!  I sort of doubt they'll let you... biohazard and everything (same with placentas right?) but maybe they would?  You could always bury it in a garden later.


Sonja... we have traveled a TON with our kids on airplanes.  It's really not that hard once you do it, but it can seem very daunting up front.  The only real carrying part is from the car to the check in desk.  Then you can check the car seat and stroller if you'd like and carry him in a carrier.  So if your dh is coming with you, no problem.  If not, then maybe you could have a friend drop you off and help you bring stuff inside?  Sometimes at larger airports they have those outside check-in stations, too.  Even if he's not a huge fan of the carrier, I'm sure he'll be fine for the time you're in line and walking to your gate.  If the security agents assume he can't walk through the scanner on his own then you are allowed to carry him through the scanner in a carrier that doesn't contain metal (with his shoes removed, of course).  It's way easier than corraling a toddler in the airport.  You can also rent strollers at big theme parks if you'd prefer.


Mal- your house looks awesome!  What a great deck out back!  And really nice tile in the bathroom!

Edited by Jaimee - 6/21/13 at 7:23am
post #259 of 336

Thanks ladies ... ugh, the thought of traveling is daunting - I need time to figure things out and it feels like this is being jumped on me.  Apart from flying, since we don't own a car, it is an hour by public transit to the airport uhoh3.gif  There is no way Eli will sit still for an hour on the bus unless in a stroller (since that is what he is used to).  My DH is coming with me, since we are, afterall, going to see his family.  So the carrying part isn't daunting, it is the actual getting everything to the airport, and flying part that scares me.  Victoria's airport is pretty small, so the security isn't huge, but I am sure that on the way back from Toronto it will be since it is a large airport.  I am wondering if my inlaws would consider buying a stroller for us at least ... the airlines here don't check the bigger strollers (I have a Graco Quattro Sport) due to space issues (smaller airport, smaller planes), they recommend the lightweight ones... if it wasn't for the fact that we need to buy my DH's contact lenses, we would have a bit of money extra, to buy a smaller stroller.  *sigh*   I don't know ... will talk to my mil.  She tends to always want to help so I will see what she can figure out... maybe she will be willing to help us buy a lightweight stroller (we would definitely get some use out of it too apart from flying).  Things like this keep me up at night ... I like to have things figured out and have a plan or my mind goes nuts lol...


Eli is teething like crazy and it makes him crabby ... but he does have his moments.  I notice on days where he is really struggling with his teeth, he naps way longer (3 hours in a row!!) ... shame poor kiddo.  

post #260 of 336
Thread Starter 

Kids on airplanes is not terribly fun, I'll admit, and this age is particularly challenging, IMO.   But it can be done!  As Sara mentioned, lots of snacks, water, and novel toys.  You've got your dh, too, so hopefully you can take turns entertaining him, walking him up and down the aisles, taking trips to the "bathroom," feeding him, changing him, etc.  I've come to view layovers as helpful with kids b/c the trip is broken up, but getting there quickly is nice, too.  As for the light weight stroller, can't you find one used for cheap?  You certainly don't need to spend $90 on one!   Do you have Craig's List up there?  Or one you could borrow or buy from a friend?    And is the airline unwilling to gate check the larger strollers or not check them at all?

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